Different religion

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Different religion

Postby pinky » Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:21 am

Is your spouse sharing the same religion as you? If not, how do you deal with the situation?

pinky
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Postby MLR » Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:30 pm

Hiya pinky

Me Buddhist, DH Anglican.

Interestingly, DH didn't went church for like 15 yrs(since college). When we got married and he was out of job the same month, he hit the lowest point of his life. He was very fustrated, cos couldn't find a suitable job. At that time, I told him that sometimes you need more than love ones to support you, I think you need spiritual guidance and encouraged him to go back to church.

He told me that he hasn't been to church for the past 15 yrs and wondered if the church would collasped when he step in. Told him that his God would forgive him if he sincerely pray to him and asked for guidance. He did started going to church and after a few months things got better, found a job, we settled into marriage life.

2 yrs ago, we decide to baptise DS, guess what? The church didn't agree to our choice of godparents, cos they and me are not members of the church, The priest asked DH to ask for forgiveness and repent cos he married a non-believer. Well, what I said was that if the church couldn't accept me, so be it. I was pretty crossed, cos I was the one who got DH going back to his faith and yet the church is against me. I then started DS to go for church service with DH. And after 2 yrs later, just b4 DS 2nd birthday, he was baptised. He started going for Sunday classes and Sunday is my offday.

To me its about acceptance. You hv to accept him and his religion, when you married him, you marry his everything.

So I don't 'DEAL" with it, I accept it. Furthermore, when you first went "steady" with him, isn't religion an important factor of consideration when you accept his proposal/marriage?

Just my personal experience and views.....

MLR
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Re: Different religion

Postby Em » Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:30 am

pinky wrote:Is your spouse sharing the same religion as you? If not, how do you deal with the situation?


Before agreeing to "paktor", already laid out ground rule not to convert me.

Em
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Postby 18JA » Thu Sep 17, 2009 9:33 am

Hi,

I'm Buddhist, DH Presbyterian. As for our kids, they can chose whatever religion they wan when they grow up. This is what DH and I agreeded on even before we married. But currently, they follow me to the temple whenever i go praying . :D

18JA
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Postby kiasimom » Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:33 pm

DH is a Buddisht and I am a Taoist.
We respect each other religion.

There sre no conflicts and differences as long as we respect each other.

kiasimom
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Postby bitchymum » Wed Dec 02, 2009 10:23 am

18JA wrote:Hi,

I'm Buddhist, DH Presbyterian. As for our kids, they can chose whatever religion they wan when they grow up. This is what DH and I agreeded on even before we married. But currently, they follow me to the temple whenever i go praying . :D


I noticed that if the gals are christians, most of the time they would want to convert the men. I have seen so many cases of boyfriends following girlfriends to church during paktor time. But I nvr see the other way round

bitchymum
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Postby MLR » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:38 pm

I hv.... my friends are Catholic and their wife/girlfriends convert.
Same goes for our Muslim friends.

MLR
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Postby Andaiz » Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:35 pm

MLR wrote:Same goes for our Muslim friends.


I've friends in the situation i.e., bf Muslim and gal's not. Right now fighting a battle as to whether she'd convert or not. Anyone knows what the repercussions are for her not converting? Does that mean they cannot marry?

Thanks.

Andaiz
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Postby mrswongtuition » Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:40 pm

Andaiz wrote:
MLR wrote:Same goes for our Muslim friends.


I've friends in the situation i.e., bf Muslim and gal's not. Right now fighting a battle as to whether she'd convert or not. Anyone knows what the repercussions are for her not converting? Does that mean they cannot marry?

Thanks.


My best friend in primary school is half-malay and half-chinese. Her dad is Chinese (Christian) and her mum is Malay (Muslim). Her dad did not convert, instead, her mum became a Christian. But she does not eat pork as she was not used to the taste.

For so many years, I see her parents very loving and my friend still has great relationship with her maternal relatives, especially her grandma.

I'm not too sure what's the repercussions but I see their family very happy and my friend is a fantastic lady with a good career now.

mrswongtuition
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Postby MLR » Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:53 pm

Andaiz wrote: I've friends in the situation i.e., bf Muslim and gal's not. Right now fighting a battle as to whether she'd convert or not. Anyone knows what the repercussions are for her not converting? Does that mean they cannot marry?

Thanks.


That depends on the Muslim family, how staunch and also if the gal not converting, then they cannot go thru the Muslim ceremony. Muslim are govern by different set of marriage laws from civil marriage. Its not just about not eating pork, or hving to circumcise, lots of other stuff involved.

Actually if she don't want to convert, better not be together, cos she doesn't know/understand/respect him. The guy also didn't make it clear to her when starting to get serious? Young pple.......

Personally, being in a relationship with someone from a different culture/race/religion requires strength from within. You will be tested in every event all the way thru life. The best lesson that I learned is never to take anything and I mean anything for granted. DH and I being 10 yrs as a couple, still tested by every turn of events in our life.



:celebrate:

MLR
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