Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby Dark Hope » Sun Nov 11, 2012 3:33 am

I have finally divorce my ex wife who got re-married with someone else and I'm very happy for her. Because of the visiting rights of the children given to her, it seems the divorce didn't helps to end the marriage. She still always like to use lawyer letters to threaten me.

I have a question, why can't those woman who remarried, live their marriage with their DH happily and yet still bothering the previous marriage and see the children? Since divorce, why can't just let go? Will it be fair to the current DH for doing those?

I'm tired till now still keep bothering by my ex wife who I have no intention to have any connection with her since the day we have divorce. I'm still simply wanted to support my children within my humble earning.

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby Gabby » Sun Nov 11, 2012 4:18 am

It all depends on how much visitation rights your wife has, for her to want to contend it? A woman has very string bonds to her children. They are her babies, regardless of the state of her marriage.

Unless the divorce is ugly, why nit resolve the issues in an amicable way? A child should not feel that he has lost his father/ mother simply because they have gone separate ways.

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby Flowermonaster » Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:33 am

I dont understand your Problem. Divorce means end of marriage for a man & woman but it's definitely not the end of a mother & her children relationship! Why are you so against your ex-wife visiting her children? :?

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby lambchop1976 » Sun Nov 11, 2012 3:41 pm

I agree with Gabby. marriage and divorce is btw a man and a woman it got nothing to do with the children. You and your ex wife each equally has the rights to be with BOTH YOUR children.

In fact it is better for the children to know that despite the fact mommy and daddy can't stay together it DOES NOT mean you are going to lose mommy or daddy. The children need to know that they are STILL LOVED by both DADDY and MOMMY. then they can grow up healthy mentally and emotionally. If you deprived them from their mommy you are robbing them from their rights as well. They have their very right to spend time with mommy. Stats hv shown that tho the couple may be divorced but if they allow their feelings aside they can still lead their own new life but if both spend quality time with their children from the break up marriage they children are still able to grow up well...well not as we'll as those in intact family with intact love.

So pls pls already your broken marriage has done so much harm to your children...pls dun further cause more damage to their young souls.

Moreover u muz admit you can NEVER replace your ex wife position in your children. You can NEVER be their mother. Cos you are NEVER their mother you are a father!

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby Dark Hope » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:10 am

Yes indeed, the mother have the right to access visit the children because of the bonding but do the mother really care how the children ever feel and care if they knew the mummy have re married soon to someone else after the parents divorce? My case is abit complicated whereby my ex wife is a divorce before when I married her, therefore some others might not easily understand it and might think I'm not a reasonable person towards my current situation. Children may be innocent, and agree to some issues like the daddy cant replace the mother ..... but if the daddy with those right helpful friends and guide, it can still simply replace the mum. My children feel such a troublesome when they know that day is her visiting days, but they have no choice as they afraid to say and make the her angry. And how do her current husband feel when every time she visit the children ....... During ther weekends?

I'm just curious if the mummy is you, what is the intention?

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby Flowermonaster » Mon Nov 12, 2012 9:02 am

Dark Hope wrote:Yes indeed, the mother have the right to access visit the children because of the bonding but do the mother really care how the children ever feel and care if they knew the mummy have re married soon to someone else after the parents divorce? My case is abit complicated whereby my ex wife is a divorce before when I married her, therefore some others might not easily understand it and might think I'm not a reasonable person towards my current situation. Children may be innocent, and agree to some issues like the daddy cant replace the mother ..... but if the daddy with those right helpful friends and guide, it can still simply replace the mum. My children feel such a troublesome when they know that day is her visiting days, but they have no choice as they afraid to say and make the her angry. And how do her current husband feel when every time she visit the children ....... During ther weekends?

I'm just curious if the mummy is you, what is the intention?

No matter how incompetence she is as a mother, she is still their biological mother. At least she still bother to visit them so that shows she loves her children. I do not know why the children feel that it's troublesome to meet her. I believed she might feel hurt by the children's reaction & thus anger is the only reaction she displayed. I do not know her so these are just my guess. I do hope that both parties don't "talk bad" about the other to the children. It will definitely affect their reaction towards the other parent. We should always put the kids well being before our own. I sincerely hope that your relationship with your ex-wife can improve.

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby straffan23 » Mon Nov 12, 2012 9:28 am

A divorce means a legal ceasation of a marriage. It cancels out the matrimonial agreement that you have signed. That's about it. In many cases, especially those with children involved, it does not end the relationship between the husband and wife, mearly an evolvement into the next stage, as ex-husbands and ex-wives. You will forever be related to each other as the parents of the children.

I have seen children whom suffers a lot emotionally, because the court still grants visitation rights to the abusive father. I have seen children that suffers because their mothers are bitter over the divorce and in their retaliation the kid is caught in the middle.

My belief is that all divorcees should consider this - hating, anger, jealousy, etc has a way of eating into one self. For everyone to move forward positively into the next stage of lives, we need to make peace with the situation and the other party. This way, our lives would be much happier, and so would the children, and others around us. No need to be best friends, just the acknowledgement that whatever is done is done, whatever has happened has happened, and then live must go on. Each should have the rights to pursue their happiness.

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby Raemuumy » Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:04 am

But there are cases whereby after a few years later, the couple put down their difference and come together again for their children who are still young. they realize that they still love each other and decided to start all over again.

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby Gabby » Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:57 am

It is important that both parties dont talk bad about each other in the children's presence. Or you keep questioning them about what did mummy or uncle say, where did you all go etc? It will make the children very sensitive about their own situation. It is not possible that the children feel no difference in their lives, but as parents, both of you must work it out to make it easier for them.

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Re: Is Divorce really makes a marriage ends?

Postby mdmlow » Thu Jan 03, 2013 2:29 pm

I don’t think so, he/she will still be the children’s parent.

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