Extra Marital Affair

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Postby ZacK » Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:56 am

Hiya Insider,

Thanks for sharing something that is so personal to you for the benefit of everyone here.

You did the right thing... Whatever the wrong done to us, man will be man and will make mistakes... sometimes just need to put the pride and hurt aside... Search our hearts deep inside and ask what do we want to happen ... Do we want to carry on or go separate ways ... If the decision of both is still to carry on together, then will just have to draw strength from whatever good that can come out of a bad situation.

More often then not... By being angry with ourselves or others over a bad situation... We end up being miserable.

Takes a lot of courage to forgive and kudos to you :celebrate:

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Postby flametree » Tue Aug 04, 2009 9:57 am

Hi insider,

Once again, without fail, i've learnt a lot from your valuable sharing. I wish i have the mental strength like you.

Thanks for the sharing.


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Postby Andaiz » Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:19 am


Thanks for sharing - kudo's to you to be able to keep calm and not miss the forest for the trees.

I particularly admire your ability to forgive. It's painful, no doubt, but a great thing to do - coz you keep your best friend and your hub!

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Postby charlie » Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:44 am

Thanks for sharing, Insider......you are very magnanimous!

"For those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven....for those who sins you retain, they are retained"

Your big-hearted action has saved some broken hearts and disrupted lives. I really cannot imagine what I would do if I were in your shoes. You have shown that it pays to be cool and level-headed, and not let personal pride dictate your decision.

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Postby Emelyn » Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:45 am


Thanks for sharing such personal experience of yours.
Your posts have always been a "must-read" for me. I have even encouraged DH to go to the forum and read all posts by "insider" if he doesn't have much time.

As you know from my other posts that my cousin-in-law has filed for divorce. While reading your post, I started to think about her case. Unfortunately, my cousin has not been taking care of the family at all, especially the past 2 yrs. And I find it difficult to tell her to give him a chance (she asked me if she should give him a chance). Especially he has not reflected upon himself after he received the court papers, and see how he can salvage. Instead of attempting to build relationship with the children, he started scolding them.

I just told her that ultimately she has to be happy with her decision, and whatever decision that is, she has my support and she can always come to me for a listening ear and a shoulderto cry on.

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Postby buzybuzz » Tue Aug 04, 2009 11:12 am

“DO NOT LOOK BACK AND ASK WHY, LOOK FORWARD AND ASK WHY NOT” : Posted on September 3, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

" In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT

And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life. ""

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Postby MLR » Tue Aug 04, 2009 11:14 am

Dearest Insider

Thank you so very much for your time and magnanimity in sharing such personal experience.

I hv been an admirer of yours since joining this forum, now I would say you are my role model.

To forgive is the greatest gift that you can give and to be forgiven is the greatest gift to receive. For it means love transcend all to be able to forgive, what greater gift could one asked for in times of wrongdoings.

I had told my hubs that if he should stray, I hv to be the 3rd person to know and 1 chance would be given. I do ponder if it happens would I find the courage to forgive and moved on like you did.

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Postby sashimi » Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:31 pm

insider, you are truly, truly brave.

It is admirable, your attitude and what you have done, and to allow mistakes to strengthen you and your family - that is the true purpose of mistakes. I hope all will turn out for the better. It is human nature to err, but true understanding is the sole property of the humane. Best wishes for your family and future.

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Postby cookiecreature » Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:52 pm

Insider, you are and will be richly blessed.

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Postby csc » Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:55 pm



I :salute: you!

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