Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby sweetjam » Tue Jan 29, 2013 4:43 pm

My friend gave birth recently and I saw her hubby with another lady behaving intimately. Before my friend got pregnant with her second child, she was going through divorce proceeding with her hubby. They managed to resolve their differences and lived together again. Then my friend got pregnant not long after. My friend is beautiful and slim. Her hubby is fat. I saw another gorgeous girl behaving intimately with her hubby. Should I tell my friend?

sweetjam
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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby Linlin » Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:05 pm

If is my gd friend I will tell her what happened and let her decide

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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby ammonite » Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:56 pm

Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.

Some people prefer not to know. I have a friend who tells all her friends that if any of us see her husband with someone else, she doesn't want to know because it will break her heart totally.

Some people already know, they are just not ready to do anything or to face it.

I suggest you spend some time with your friend, supporting her as a new mother and a friend. If she already knows, she will appreciate the support. If she wants to share her burden, she will tell you. If she doesn't know now, knowing later won't hurt.

If you can't stand not doing anything, you can 1) march up to the husband and tell him off; 2) swing by and say hi sweetly, and ask how the new baby is and then look at the other woman coolly up and down; 3) follow up with a big bouquet of flowers or stuffed toy to your friend with a gift tag that her husband cannot miss.

If he cares, he will be more careful or watchful of his behaviour. If he doesn't care, she knowing won't change a thing and will hurt her more.

ammonite
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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby gogoahead » Wed Jan 30, 2013 1:14 pm

ammonite wrote:Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.


agree this.

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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby Harlequin » Wed Jan 30, 2013 1:16 pm

ammonite wrote:Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.

Some people prefer not to know. I have a friend who tells all her friends that if any of us see her husband with someone else, she doesn't want to know because it will break her heart totally.

Some people already know, they are just not ready to do anything or to face it.

I suggest you spend some time with your friend, supporting her as a new mother and a friend. If she already knows, she will appreciate the support. If she wants to share her burden, she will tell you. If she doesn't know now, knowing later won't hurt.

If you can't stand not doing anything, you can 1) march up to the husband and tell him off; 2) swing by and say hi sweetly, and ask how the new baby is and then look at the other woman coolly up and down; 3) follow up with a big bouquet of flowers or stuffed toy to your friend with a gift tag that her husband cannot miss.

If he cares, he will be more careful or watchful of his behaviour. If he doesn't care, she knowing won't change a thing and will hurt her more.


I totally like what you said! :goodpost:

Harlequin
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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby Just relax » Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:06 am

ammonite wrote:Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.

Some people prefer not to know. I have a friend who tells all her friends that if any of us see her husband with someone else, she doesn't want to know because it will break her heart totally.

Some people already know, they are just not ready to do anything or to face it.

I suggest you spend some time with your friend, supporting her as a new mother and a friend. If she already knows, she will appreciate the support. If she wants to share her burden, she will tell you. If she doesn't know now, knowing later won't hurt.

If you can't stand not doing anything, you can 1) march up to the husband and tell him off; 2) swing by and say hi sweetly, and ask how the new baby is and then look at the other woman coolly up and down; 3) follow up with a big bouquet of flowers or stuffed toy to your friend with a gift tag that her husband cannot miss.

If he cares, he will be more careful or watchful of his behaviour. If he doesn't care, she knowing won't change a thing and will hurt her more.


:goodpost: timing is very very important, you have to think about new mother's health first. She has to be well to look after baby which is top top priority now.

Just relax
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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby Lynn1967 » Thu Jan 31, 2013 4:01 pm

If you are in her shoes, would you want her to inform you?

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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby sunlight7 » Sat Feb 02, 2013 9:10 am

sweetjam wrote:My friend gave birth recently and I saw her hubby with another lady behaving intimately. Before my friend got pregnant with her second child, she was going through divorce proceeding with her hubby. They managed to resolve their differences and lived together again. Then my friend got pregnant not long after. My friend is beautiful and slim. Her hubby is fat. I saw another gorgeous girl behaving intimately with her hubby. Should I tell my friend?


Yes, you should and let them deal with it. Technically speaking, it's not your problem and you are obliged to tell her as a friend (assuming it's a deep friendship).
There should be no fear if you're doing the right thing as your conscience is clear. People are only hesitant or fearful when doing the wrong thing. Btw, whether they are beautiful or not is irrelevant.

sunlight7
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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby sundaymorning » Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:05 am

I agree , you have to be honest with her as her good friend to tell her at the right timing as what she is going through now , she might suffer depression .
So perhaps u wait awhile more :)

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Re: Should I tell my friend that her hubby is having affair?

Postby gisele924 » Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:57 am

Hi,

I think it might be better if you approach some good friends and talk together? Perhaps a trusted family member of hers because if you were to confront her, she will receive a horrible blow! Yeah, you should tell her but perhaps after the baby is born or try going up to her husband and kick his butt.

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