KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

My friend gave birth recently and I saw her hubby with another lady behaving intimately. Before my friend got pregnant with her second child, she was going through divorce proceeding with her hubby. They managed to resolve their differences and lived together again. Then my friend got pregnant not long after. My friend is beautiful and slim. Her hubby is fat. I saw another gorgeous girl behaving intimately with her hubby. Should I tell my friend?

If is my gd friend I will tell her what happened and let her decide

Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.

Some people prefer not to know. I have a friend who tells all her friends that if any of us see her husband with someone else, she doesn't want to know because it will break her heart totally.

Some people already know, they are just not ready to do anything or to face it.

I suggest you spend some time with your friend, supporting her as a new mother and a friend. If she already knows, she will appreciate the support. If she wants to share her burden, she will tell you. If she doesn't know now, knowing later won't hurt.

If you can't stand not doing anything, you can 1) march up to the husband and tell him off; 2) swing by and say hi sweetly, and ask how the new baby is and then look at the other woman coolly up and down; 3) follow up with a big bouquet of flowers or stuffed toy to your friend with a gift tag that her husband cannot miss.

If he cares, he will be more careful or watchful of his behaviour. If he doesn't care, she knowing won't change a thing and will hurt her more.

ammonite wrote:Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.

agree this.

ammonite wrote:Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.

Some people prefer not to know. I have a friend who tells all her friends that if any of us see her husband with someone else, she doesn't want to know because it will break her heart totally.

Some people already know, they are just not ready to do anything or to face it.

I suggest you spend some time with your friend, supporting her as a new mother and a friend. If she already knows, she will appreciate the support. If she wants to share her burden, she will tell you. If she doesn't know now, knowing later won't hurt.

If you can't stand not doing anything, you can 1) march up to the husband and tell him off; 2) swing by and say hi sweetly, and ask how the new baby is and then look at the other woman coolly up and down; 3) follow up with a big bouquet of flowers or stuffed toy to your friend with a gift tag that her husband cannot miss.

If he cares, he will be more careful or watchful of his behaviour. If he doesn't care, she knowing won't change a thing and will hurt her more.

I totally like what you said!

ammonite wrote:Does your friend want to know? Is she in the state to know? Do you want to be responsible for the fall-out? Post-natal is a fragile time, don't rule out potential double-suicide. You do not want that on your hands. Timing is important too.

Some people prefer not to know. I have a friend who tells all her friends that if any of us see her husband with someone else, she doesn't want to know because it will break her heart totally.

Some people already know, they are just not ready to do anything or to face it.

I suggest you spend some time with your friend, supporting her as a new mother and a friend. If she already knows, she will appreciate the support. If she wants to share her burden, she will tell you. If she doesn't know now, knowing later won't hurt.

If you can't stand not doing anything, you can 1) march up to the husband and tell him off; 2) swing by and say hi sweetly, and ask how the new baby is and then look at the other woman coolly up and down; 3) follow up with a big bouquet of flowers or stuffed toy to your friend with a gift tag that her husband cannot miss.

If he cares, he will be more careful or watchful of his behaviour. If he doesn't care, she knowing won't change a thing and will hurt her more.

timing is very very important, you have to think about new mother's health first. She has to be well to look after baby which is top top priority now.

If you are in her shoes, would you want her to inform you?

sweetjam wrote:My friend gave birth recently and I saw her hubby with another lady behaving intimately. Before my friend got pregnant with her second child, she was going through divorce proceeding with her hubby. They managed to resolve their differences and lived together again. Then my friend got pregnant not long after. My friend is beautiful and slim. Her hubby is fat. I saw another gorgeous girl behaving intimately with her hubby. Should I tell my friend?

Yes, you should and let them deal with it. Technically speaking, it's not your problem and you are obliged to tell her as a friend (assuming it's a deep friendship).
There should be no fear if you're doing the right thing as your conscience is clear. People are only hesitant or fearful when doing the wrong thing. Btw, whether they are beautiful or not is irrelevant.

I agree , you have to be honest with her as her good friend to tell her at the right timing as what she is going through now , she might suffer depression .
So perhaps u wait awhile more

Hi,

I think it might be better if you approach some good friends and talk together? Perhaps a trusted family member of hers because if you were to confront her, she will receive a horrible blow! Yeah, you should tell her but perhaps after the baby is born or try going up to her husband and kick his butt.