Failing relationship with Son

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Failing relationship with Son

Postby mummy OnABudget » Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:12 pm

Ok i just need to vent out alot here i hope no one judge me.

Yesterday i had a big big shouting match with ds as some ppl may know he is taking his PSLE this year.

The ongoing issue of not wanting to do homework fighting in school going gallivanting with his best friend has made me reach my peak of anger till i burst out shouting then crying then asking him what more u expect from mummy have done so much for u with all your teachers we are trying to help u and yet u are not even helping yourself what u want us to do.

His teacher and me have setup a way to stop the gallivanting is when he reaches school he has to call me within 30mins from the time he leaves home and he has to call the teacher with the home phone when he leaves school and after every home work is done he has to report to her.

And yet he still thinks he can get away with things am sending him for another behavioural assement i have even told him u are making me feel like jumping down the block and just dont care anymore.
:?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:

mummy OnABudget
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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby sweetbaby » Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:43 pm

mummy OnABudget wrote:Ok i just need to vent out alot here i hope no one judge me.

Yesterday i had a big big shouting match with ds as some ppl may know he is taking his PSLE this year.

The ongoing issue of not wanting to do homework fighting in school going gallivanting with his best friend has made me reach my peak of anger till i burst out shouting then crying then asking him what more u expect from mummy have done so much for u with all your teachers we are trying to help u and yet u are not even helping yourself what u want us to do.

His teacher and me have setup a way to stop the gallivanting is when he reaches school he has to call me within 30mins from the time he leaves home and he has to call the teacher with the home phone when he leaves school and after every home work is done he has to report to her.

And yet he still thinks he can get away with things am sending him for another behavioural assement i have even told him u are making me feel like jumping down the block and just dont care anymore.
:?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:


:hugs: Your DS is lucky to have a mom who cares so much and never gives up on him. Have you tried the school counsellor and AED LBS? Hopefully your boy sees that everyone are on his side and open up to talk about why he is acting out.

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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby mummy OnABudget » Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:50 pm

school counsellor is trying to fit him in but what is AED LBS? We even managed to talked to the dean to not cane him in public but now he and his best friend are both not allowed to eat recess in the canteen cause of the mischief they cause instead they are to buy pau and east outside the general office each at one side, see the distress they cause, and till now even no one is giving up on them only they them self for god knows what reason.

His assement is at IMH due to age on the 19 April i am trying to be SANE till then with his PSLE this year my upcoming course starting ( i know this is not the best time but i got no choice) i am going insane soon enough and i still got a younger 10yr old to devote my time to. :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby sweetbaby » Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:07 pm

AED LBS usually works with mild special needs kids in the school but they do work hand in hand with the school counsellor and are equip to handle behavioural issues. You can ask the counsellor to seek help for a school psychologist(each school cluster has a few psychologist assign to them) do an assessment on your son if needed. My sis is one and she's been called to observe similar situations before. Hopefully it will shed some light. In the mean time, stay strong and seek other avenue to help him.

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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby mummy OnABudget » Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:33 pm

sweetbaby wrote:AED LBS usually works with mild special needs kids in the school but they do work hand in hand with the school counsellor and are equip to handle behavioural issues. You can ask the counsellor to seek help for a school psychologist(each school cluster has a few psychologist assign to them) do an assessment on your son if needed. My sis is one and she's been called to observe similar situations before. Hopefully it will shed some light. In the mean time, stay strong and seek other avenue to help him.



Trying my best before i go crazy which will be very soon see till now so late still trying to finish a assignment started 3hrs ago cause during this time hes wandering around the house finding donno what.

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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby smartmummy » Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:35 pm

Hi mummy OnABudget!
:snuggles:
Are you FTWM or SAHM?
I know it is easier said than done.But you only know your son best.We all know cannot shout have to talk heart-to-heart.At times we forgot or think that we did enough talk and give up the talk.I did a mistake in the early of this year.He already stressed out at school,but i was not aware of his stress and gave him more stress by shouting.Finally, I decided to want to know what is his point of view.Then I explained to him and convinced him that his thoughts are wrong.I cooked some favourite food for him and show him I support him instead of nagging.I show more responsiblity in my chores.
When I started to talk him nicely, his argument made me angry.Its took three days.Be patience,and talk constantly.Tell him that "usually,he is a good boy ,why he does now?" So he can change this bad behaviour.I took this advise from Chen's(Petunia Lee, Internal drive theory) book.
Best wishes!

smartmummy
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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby mummy so kiasu » Wed Apr 10, 2013 12:45 am

I sorry to know about your falling relationship with your son. If I am not wrong, your boy did well in P5 & he is in the top class. Could it be too much stress given by the school & yourself? Try to talk to him to find out his concern. Counseling might help to a certain extend. Try to sort it out as soon as possible so that he could focus on his PSLE.

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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby mummy OnABudget » Wed Apr 10, 2013 12:45 am

sahm but going back for school soon yea i do use that sappooach but hes not listening and all he replies is i dont know why lah >
<

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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby mummy OnABudget » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:50 am

Basically we suspect he is doing all this for attention,he knows hes smart but using his smartness in this wy is not right.

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Re: Failing relationship with Son

Postby smartmummy » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:03 am

Now don't talk about his behaviour and I think u have to bring him to some fun activity places. Lego land or any theme park.May be together his friend's family.or Wild wild wet..Include jogging in his daily schedule.

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