Re: Failing relationship with Son
Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:57 pm
Thanks for sharing. I will re read this when I have a chance.mummy OnABudget wrote:Today was a eyeopener for me i went to ds sch for this principle and parent meeting they actually got a life coach in to give the parents a talk on how to guide and teach our boys i will shqre some here maybe it will help other mummies and daddies too.
kids this age they value SELF ESTEEM if we can increase it they will CHANGE as they want to prove to us they are right.
1st step is THOUGHTS- we need to plant positive thoughts in them through praise
praise the child short and sweet and walk away e.g. oh u doing ur work boy so obedient of you good job, and then u walk away dont linger as you need them to register and process the thought through their brain that you are praising them.
2nd step is EXPERIENCE once you do it once they will feel more empowered try to praise the child for little achivements that you can find be it helpig with chores or good results even if only slight improvement in their work always keep it short and sweet.
3rd step is BELIEFS cause you are starting to praise your child they will start beliving that they are this good and changes will come.
4th is Outward ACTION by this time we will see our child wanting to progress even better cause they love being praise and in turn they be more well behaved.
start with the action comes with consequence always make a agreement with the child before they want somthing make a agreement on the consequence if they ever cross the line.
for eg tv time once ur child cross the line lets say u agreed on 2 hours and u realize they cross the line just gently ask how long u been watching already and if the child say a little while more dont get angry walk away go take a bath, the next day when the child wants to watch the tv or play computer games make sure is unacessable by removing wires or remote control and if the child ask why cannot on ar u just reply oh remember we had a agreement if you cross the line theres a consequence then just smile and walk away and parents cannot give in and must hold on to the duration of the agreed punishment so as to let them know oh my mummy or daddy means business and slowly they will wake up their idea and become more automatic lol.
theres more la to share but i am tired le to type haha but i now got a new way to guide ds .