Very strong affection for this girl

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Very strong affection for this girl

Postby iLoveMathsx3 » Tue Jul 09, 2013 9:16 pm

A short story of myself. I'm a student from Normal Acad stream currently taking my N's this year (2013)

I didn't do well for PSLE in 2009 and I scored 148 for it (Long story). I know it's pretty bad so don't reprimand me. I got admitted into a secondary school in the Normal Tech stream. Very quickly, I worked my way up to Normal Acad stream in Sec 2 and continued doing well(Top 20 in level). I got my desired subject combination in Sec 3 and did well at the EOY examinations(Top 15 in level). Now in Sec 4 I'm still doing fine in academically but not emotionally strong. I recently got 2nd(I will explain why later on) for whole level in my MYE with EMB3 single digit.

That's when things started to change in Secondary 4. I had a strong affection for this girl. I knew this girl since Secondary 2 as we were in the same CCA but I have no affection for her at that time. She was smart and was in express stream. She was a Pure science student. Captain of the CCA girls team. In the best express class. We get along quite well in Sec 3. We usually go out together in groups for activities.

I started to know her better since then. She was different. Very matured at her age and understanding girl. She was a shy girl. That's when I felt this girl is special I had to do something about it. I liked this girl for close to a year now. I can't believe I feel that I loved her more than I love myself. I care about her. I think a lot of my future. I want to give the best things to her. That's when things started to go haywire this year February.

Early February was my 16th Birthday. I specially requested her to attend my small little Birthday party with my friends after her Zone Match. At first when I messaged her. She said she wasn't coming (I guess she felt tired after the match). I understand. I felt sad. However when my best friend called her to come, she finally came. That was when I was smiling like a happy birthday boy when I saw her walking towards me. No one can describe that moment. She gave that shy look and sat down. My friends teased her to sit closer to me. She felt shy.

Alright fast forward to Feb 14 (Valentine's Day). I do not know what the hell had gone through my mind (I know I'm a fool). I actually went to purchase a necklace with a ring. The ring was hanging on the necklace. Her name was engraved in it. I created a confession card by myself and secretly put all these presents on her class desk early in the morning (I know I had no guts to give it to her personally). I then messaged her ''I hope you would like it. No matter what the outcome is...''
She got the present and she was shocked at what I gave her. Initially she wanted to return it however I told her not to as I would feel bad. She then accepted it. However she messaged me saying ''sorry to you''. We didn't talked much since then. I had to steal painful glances at her everyday (until now) in school at the canteen hoping how much that I can talk to her.

Fast forward to after Sec 4 MYE, I don't know what went through my mind again... Immediately after the last paper, I went to the bookshop to buy a glass of star shape bottle and 460 origami 3D paper stars preparing to give this on her Birthday. I done folding all of 460 paper stars within a day and waited till her Birthday.

On that day I was excited, I got my present wrapped up nicely and went to school. As we both are in different classes. Her timetable ended earlier on that day and that was at my break time. I nearly lost her as she was going out of school prepared to go for her celebration with friends (not me :cry: ). With the help of my friends behind me, I got up the courage and chase out of school with my present in my hand and caught up with her near the bus stop. I shouted at her name and she turned back smiling with another friend by the side. My group of friends was behind watching as I ran up to her and said ''Happy Birthday! Here's your present, I hope you would like it.'' She replied in a awkward smile ''Thank you''.
At that time I know she was very happy to received my present.

Now this is the problem. I know a guy from her class liked her too. He was way better off than me. Way smarter than me. Better looking than me. He has more confidence than me. I guess she liked him too.
I felt inferior as I'm just a Normal Acad student. He went for her Birthday party. I felt lost at home, felt sad, not knowing what to do. I loved her so much. I know that I will not give up due to my stubborn personality.

All this has not affected my studies but it has affected me emotionally very badly... We are aware that we're having our national examinations this year. I know this is a bad time to go for BGR. She is a source of motivation for me. That is why I've been striving so hard to show her. I know I might not be good enough for her. I really don't know what's on her mind. Maybe that guy really suits her? He's so good unlike me... :cry:

I'm really lost. Really heartbroken. Really had enough of faking smiles in school everyday painfully just to steal glances at her. Even taking a glance could make me feel better a bit but I just couldn't hang on anymore. I feel I'm really broken down.
What should I do? I've talked to my teachers in school but I'm still feeling the same. I really want to go back to the past year. I really want to talked to her even I know it would be awkward.

How...? Any advice? I really love her more than myself now. Sorry for long winded story and bad English.

iLoveMathsx3
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby Jennifer » Wed Jul 10, 2013 9:24 am

眼光放远一点

you will meet the 真命天子 one day.

Read this thread when u hv time
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... 36&t=57253

All the best to you.

Jennifer
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby dolphinsiah » Wed Jul 10, 2013 10:25 am

iLoveMathsx3 wrote:A short story of myself. I'm a student from Normal Acad stream currently taking my N's this year (2013)

I didn't do well for PSLE in 2009 and I scored 148 for it (Long story). I know it's pretty bad so don't reprimand me. I got admitted into a secondary school in the Normal Tech stream. Very quickly, I worked my way up to Normal Acad stream in Sec 2 and continued doing well(Top 20 in level). I got my desired subject combination in Sec 3 and did well at the EOY examinations(Top 15 in level). Now in Sec 4 I'm still doing fine in academically but not emotionally strong. I recently got 2nd(I will explain why later on) for whole level in my MYE with EMB3 single digit.

That's when things started to change in Secondary 4. I had a strong affection for this girl. I knew this girl since Secondary 2 as we were in the same CCA but I have no affection for her at that time. She was smart and was in express stream. She was a Pure science student. Captain of the CCA girls team. In the best express class. We get along quite well in Sec 3. We usually go out together in groups for activities.

I started to know her better since then. She was different. Very matured at her age and understanding girl. She was a shy girl. That's when I felt this girl is special I had to do something about it. I liked this girl for close to a year now. I can't believe I feel that I loved her more than I love myself. I care about her. I think a lot of my future. I want to give the best things to her. That's when things started to go haywire this year February.

Early February was my 16th Birthday. I specially requested her to attend my small little Birthday party with my friends after her Zone Match. At first when I messaged her. She said she wasn't coming (I guess she felt tired after the match). I understand. I felt sad. However when my best friend called her to come, she finally came. That was when I was smiling like a happy birthday boy when I saw her walking towards me. No one can describe that moment. She gave that shy look and sat down. My friends teased her to sit closer to me. She felt shy.

Alright fast forward to Feb 14 (Valentine's Day). I do not know what the hell had gone through my mind (I know I'm a fool). I actually went to purchase a necklace with a ring. The ring was hanging on the necklace. Her name was engraved in it. I created a confession card by myself and secretly put all these presents on her class desk early in the morning (I know I had no guts to give it to her personally). I then messaged her ''I hope you would like it. No matter what the outcome is...''
She got the present and she was shocked at what I gave her. Initially she wanted to return it however I told her not to as I would feel bad. She then accepted it. However she messaged me saying ''sorry to you''. We didn't talked much since then. I had to steal painful glances at her everyday (until now) in school at the canteen hoping how much that I can talk to her.

Fast forward to after Sec 4 MYE, I don't know what went through my mind again... Immediately after the last paper, I went to the bookshop to buy a glass of star shape bottle and 460 origami 3D paper stars preparing to give this on her Birthday. I done folding all of 460 paper stars within a day and waited till her Birthday.

On that day I was excited, I got my present wrapped up nicely and went to school. As we both are in different classes. Her timetable ended earlier on that day and that was at my break time. I nearly lost her as she was going out of school prepared to go for her celebration with friends (not me :cry: ). With the help of my friends behind me, I got up the courage and chase out of school with my present in my hand and caught up with her near the bus stop. I shouted at her name and she turned back smiling with another friend by the side. My group of friends was behind watching as I ran up to her and said ''Happy Birthday! Here's your present, I hope you would like it.'' She replied in a awkward smile ''Thank you''.
At that time I know she was very happy to received my present.

Now this is the problem. I know a guy from her class liked her too. He was way better off than me. Way smarter than me. Better looking than me. He has more confidence than me. I guess she liked him too.
I felt inferior as I'm just a Normal Acad student. He went for her Birthday party. I felt lost at home, felt sad, not knowing what to do. I loved her so much. I know that I will not give up due to my stubborn personality.

All this has not affected my studies but it has affected me emotionally very badly... We are aware that we're having our national examinations this year. I know this is a bad time to go for BGR. She is a source of motivation for me. That is why I've been striving so hard to show her. I know I might not be good enough for her. I really don't know what's on her mind. Maybe that guy really suits her? He's so good unlike me... :cry:

I'm really lost. Really heartbroken. Really had enough of faking smiles in school everyday painfully just to steal glances at her. Even taking a glance could make me feel better a bit but I just couldn't hang on anymore. I feel I'm really broken down.
What should I do? I've talked to my teachers in school but I'm still feeling the same. I really want to go back to the past year. I really want to talked to her even I know it would be awkward.

How...? Any advice? I really love her more than myself now. Sorry for long winded story and bad English.


Your situation reminds us Parents- we were also like you once....

infatuations or what we call Puppy Love....

Nothing wrong to like a person be it a Idol or a opposite sex....
It is part of growing up..... :wink:

But like what Aunt Jennifer commented: 眼光放远一点

You still have a long path to go....your thoughts and emotions will change...
Especially when you go through NS and start working...

Ladies are always attracted to SMART GUY especially with Good Career...

Ask yourself ...have you achieve this...?

Remember Capable Men always has no problem attracting Ladies...

So work towards it, you still have time.... :xedfingers:

dolphinsiah
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby 3Boys » Fri Jul 12, 2013 4:43 pm

Oh dear.

Thank you for sharing.

Although the sky looks dark and gloomy now, be assured, if she is not the one for you, there will always be others in the future. Who's to say with the passage of time, that your paths will not converge? Stranger things have happened.

Don't feel silly or beat yourself up, be nice to yourself and don't ever feel 'inferior' because you are not in the best academic level. Some of my best staff are folk who have lesser academic qualifications.

You are just starting out, plenty of bumps ahead, but lots of sunshine and joy too!

3Boys
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby Candiess » Fri Jul 12, 2013 5:14 pm

I think this smart and mature girl knows best not to go into any BG relationship at this age (esp. National exam is coming and she definitely wants both of you to do well), even if she likes you.
So, why don't you try not to think about the "BG" relationship between two of you and maintain the good friends' relationship instead?

Candiess
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby iLoveMathsx3 » Fri Jul 12, 2013 10:37 pm

I'm afraid we're not talking much nowadays. I'm just too afraid to face her. I feel useless and down. I think she finds me annoying.
However I can't stop myself from stealing glances at her from afar, it just makes me feel a bit happier. I feel the 幸福
Candiess wrote:I think this smart and mature girl knows best not to go into any BG relationship at this age (esp. National exam is coming and she definitely wants both of you to do well), even if she likes you.
So, why don't you try not to think about the "BG" relationship between two of you and maintain the good friends' relationship instead?

iLoveMathsx3
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby concern2 » Sat Jul 13, 2013 10:18 am

Hi iLoveMathsx3,

:love: So sweet....Enjoy this process of crush, pupply love, admiration, whatever you call it, as it is part of growing up.

However, I know it is difficult, but first and foremost, remember not allow your affection for this girl to affect your work. In your spare time, if you have the urge, use the feelings you have for this girl to develop your other skills - writing, music, making things, sports, whatever it is. (instead of buying her expensive stuff) Love has tremendous amount of inspiration and energy - and if you can harness this energy, you will achieve what you never thought you could - and this will help develop your sense of self-confidence.

Life can be filled with many twists and turns, and you will never know how things will turn up one day. At this point in time, you may feel that she is so good you cannot miss the opportunity. You may be right. However, like what some parents said here, look ahead. She has her own path to walk too. How much does she know about you and you about her? There are many stages in relationships, and the first stage is to establish is one of friendship. Take it easy, one step at a time, don't rush or you may scare her away. Keep a certain distance and you need to 'act cool' sometimes - if she knows you're always there, she'll take you for granted. ( :oops: oh no, what am I teaching you here? :rotflmao: ) Anyway, it is not like she's going to have to decide to marry you or someone else now, right? So, take it easy, put more time in yourself than on her. From what you have described, you are only at the admiration stage - not even friendship, so there could be a lot of 'illusions'.

If this girl doesn't want any relationships now, I'd say she is very wise. Hang in there and don't worry too much if some other guys are interested in her ( I know it feels life-threatening), but if she ever goes out with the guy, then maybe you can find out what kind of guy she falls for (know your "enemy", that will help you learn more about your 'target') - stay calm, don't over-react, as that may distract you from school work.

Hope this helps. You sound like a good boy, don't let girls distract you from your journey ahead. Work hard and develop your own self-confidence. If your affection for this girl has taught you anything, it is that you have very strong inferiority complex and you should work on improving yourself, not how to court this girl.

concern2
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby rains » Sat Jul 13, 2013 11:03 am

You should do very well in your year-end exam to prove that you are very smart. And do even better than the other guy at O levels to prove that you are better. With good results, you can do a course that you like and excel in it so that in future, you can provide the best for this girl.

Even if the girl goes for someone else now, as long as you study hard and do well, you could go after her again when you have proven your worth, and by then she could be single again.

I like your motivation - to do well to provide the best for the girl you like. Keep that up! All the more you must do very well for your exam at the end of the year!

rains
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby Nebbermind » Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:26 pm

*phew*
I thought it was a girl-girl relationship!

Nebbermind
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Re: Very strong affection for this girl

Postby pirated » Fri Aug 16, 2013 2:16 pm

Do you really like her ?

You are right that at this point in time, doing well in your studies is the MOST important thing.

No need to feel inferior about it. You don't have to be academically "superior" than her to feel more suited for her. If she likes you, she likes you, regardless.

Just work hard, be sincere, and be caring, but not at the expense of your study.

Years ago the Pirated liked a girl, went out with her many times (many guys were after her too, but we skipped lessons and went out.......sssshhh!)....she is from well to do family.......but poor Pirated, being Pirated was poor, felt 'little' and 'couldn't measure up' ....... told her about it, gave up the relationship....she cried buckets ......

A few decades lapsed, we are both doing well in life and family....but there is always this nagging thought at the back of the mind ...... what if ?

Go watch the movie "That Girl in Pinafore"...... some parts of the plots are similar and familiar to us ..... recently we happened to meet up ... not in Singapore .....

Moral of the story, chase your dream !

pirated
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