KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

hi,
I am soooo tired of my marriage and my husband, I am so tired of it all, playing all those mind games, trying to understand him, making efforts, shutting my mouth when hurt, not telling him what I really feel to not hurt his ego, going through hell in my personal life without the right to complain, I even reached the point of regretting marrying him and having children with him, lately I've been wishing to go back to my single days and never ever marry in my life.

I couldn't stand his clingy mother.In our 10yrs of marriage,he always put his parents as priority,me n my kids always secondary.

I resent him...a lot...We've had on n off cold wars for the last 3yrs.I am tired.I've asked my kids to ask him to leave.

what is the point of staying in a marriage whereby we don't share anything?He is too practical,selfish, over protective of himself n individualistic. No way to change him coz this is his character.

I honestly don't know if he realizes how bad I feel about our relationship. I'm sure we could stay married like that forever, I'd just be his maid, raised his kids, shut up about my feelings and personality, and he'd come back every night to have dinner and believe he "achieved" something in life.

we will nvr hv coupletimes coz he doesn't see the need of it n his clingy mother will keep calling for attn.

Hi vinegar,

Maybe u want to seek a councilor opinion before u make any decision ....

jjxy mum wrote:Hi vinegar,

Maybe u want to seek a councilor opinion before u make any decision ....

hi jjxy,
he doesn't wanna,said it is a waste of time

How you plan to support your son if you let go?

How many kids do you have?

vinegar,
i hope things will work out for you...have you thought of thrashing things out with your hubby? yes, a clingy mother may make things sticky and become a thorn in marital relationship.

vinegar wrote:

jjxy mum wrote:Hi vinegar,

Maybe u want to seek a councilor opinion before u make any decision ....

hi jjxy,
he doesn't wanna,said it is a waste of time

Think twice before end this marriage. It is not so easy as you think. Alot of emtional and paper to go through and also the split of the children, housing etc.

If you must,you can file for separation instead. One of my former neighbours did that because her husband was a workaholic and did not want kids, while she wanted a child and was resentful he was never around to help. Her husband paid for the rental of her apartment and all living expenses but they essentially led separate lives.

He visited twice a week and in the years I knew her, their relationship improved and she moved out when her husband found another apartment for mother snd daughter that was closer to his so that he could visit them everyday. Before she left she told me that looking back, the quarrel started over such silly petty things. She was the one who initiated the separation, but time and space can be healing and children grow up. Sometimes having separate spaces is not a bad interim step.

Hi, vinegar.

Agree with jjxy mum that you and your hubby should at least try to go for counseling...

Chubby08 raised some valid points that you should ponder too.


(Sigh, 覆水难收 ah, 请三思，再三思。 )

Separation is an option you could consider as suggested in an earlier post. You are so sick and tired of it all, no more energy to fight or resist, nothing to look forward to. Time to recharge your own batteries. Block him out.

Sometimes just being physically apart, completely chill, do nothing but let time slide helps. When you are ok, other things become ok too.