insider wrote:I always tend to believe nature is more dominant as compared to nurture. Raising kids yourself probably you would know this too, that given almost identical growing up environment, the kiddos seem to grow in their own ways; that we may try to mold and mold them into something that we think is 'good', ultimately they more or less will want to travel their own paths.
Hi buddy-jie, I can resonate with what you're saying because apart from the many children we have taught some of whom were siblings, as long as we have more than one child, we can somehow tell even from at a young age how different they can be, yes, despite an almost similar growing up environment.
To tell you the truth, being in our line of work, I used to think that nurture can outshine all else because as long as we impart positive learning experiences, all other unhealthy distractions will fail to influence a child. With my two elder kids (the girls), they are already polar opposites. Their innate abilities are both different and surfaced at different stages of growing up.. unveiling in itself a stark difference between the two, although when they were younger there were more traits that were alike.
insider wrote:Note that your kid will be getting her PSLE results soon. Hahaha...how 'exciting' it is!
Exciting?
insider wrote:If your this first child is really not that academically inclined (or perhaps mature later), then you may pre-think of alternative ways for her.
Yup, I did. In fact, we did. Hubs still in denial. He still prefers and believes that the academic route is IT. I suppose the nature of his job does not convince him of the prospects of non-academic routes, but he forgets that DD is not him. This part must tread carefully.
insider wrote:When I noticed my elder son was not interested in academic studies, I was looking at SHATEC for him coz he loves cooking. If he can't study, then perhaps being someone busy in the kitchen can be something that he will thrive well too. So, I allowed him to mess in my kitchen when he was younger (cooking and baking for us based on recipes; sometimes edible and sometimes not! heeheehee…).
The 'sometimes not' bit is totally hilarious.
In the end, be it us or other parents out there.. we all wish the same thing. We want to provide the best we can for our children so that they can carve out a good path for themselves. It's just that in the process of doing so, we have to acknowledge that no two children are alike and may not lean towards the same definition of success we have in mind.
But the most important thing is our unwavering support, will and can (hopefully) see them through life the way they carve it. May or may not be smooth sailing depending on the child in mention, but as long as they can grow up to be independent (not live off us), be good children (with good values) and be useful citizens (to be able to give back to society), it is already good enough, at least for me.
insider wrote:All turn up well for this son eventually and I believe the same will be for your child regardless of her PSLE results (my gut feel is her score will be around 215 based on whatever I have read about her so far).
Yes, i read about your sharing on your harvest week.
Just reading that makes me feel so happy even if it's not for me. I was sharing and basking in your moment (hope you don't mind)
. As a mom, I can feel the warmth of contentment. You did great by your children, really.
insider wrote:Best wishes!
You may not know how much your sharings and advices have helped me, but I just wanna say that they did and honestly in more ways than one. I can also relate to most of your growing up sharings for I too lived in harsh times, gone through pretty much similar episodes into adulthood and hey, we survived all that and in fact still kicking. I'm not sure when i can fully enjoy a full harvest but am contented with bits and pieces of things here and there once in awhile.
Not sure if you see my DD the up or issit me (since i know the half-baked effort she put in) that see her the down.. but in any case, i just hope can pull thru nevertheless. If it doesn't, looks like DD was meant to learn things the hard-er way.. the longer way.. and perhaps in doing so, she matures. We can't really know what's out there for our children unless we explore the possibilities within our reach, so i just hope that i can do good by her.
Thank you, insider-jie for everything.
