Inter-racial marriage / Inter-national marriage

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Inter-racial marriage / Inter-national marriage

Postby kiasimom » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:10 pm

What's your views on inter-racial marriage?

Do you face any difficulties in maintaining your inter-racial marriage?

What are the advices you have for people with different races who plan to get married?

What's your views on inter-national marriage? I.e: Singapore- China, Singapore-European, Singapore-Vietnamese, Singapore-Thai?

I have a few friends who are married to Australians. They are residing in Australia now.

When they first went over, they have difficulties adjusting to the different lifestyles there.
Till today, they still miss home and their parents who are in Singapore.

What's your views?

kiasimom
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Postby mocharita » Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:13 pm

When you are in love, you are colour blinded.

My views on inter-racial marriage are Allow, Respect and Understand.

Allow your spouse to carry on his/her cultures and traditions. When you allowed, you will Respect his/her values, and from there you will Understand why his/her needs, wants and thoughts are differently from you. These are the basic, to start off.

Blaming on different cultures when the union is not working out is often the reason because they don't have a solid of above mentioned foundation.

Adjusting to different lifestyles in a foreign country or missing home is part of a package. It depends on individual priority. You won't leave your foreign spouse over Mom’s cooking or the statue of Merlion, right?

Anyway, black-magic is not part of culture or tradition. :wink:

mocharita
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Postby mum03 » Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:40 pm

Well good topic, I am in a interrace marriage. :D My DH is a British. have been married for 10yrs. Culture wise, is like north and south pole. Totally different.
Compromising is the way to go, even bringing up our DD, he has his way of bringing up the girl, and me more asian way.My DH always says that I am very protective of my little girl. For him he prefers the girl to run around, let her fall, and rough it out, that is childhood.
For us, the child should not talk back to an elder, for him, its a conversation, nothing wrong in it, its call "EXPRESSION' :roll:
Has what the earlier post says, be color blind, give and take, and it will last a life time.

mum03
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Postby kiasimom » Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:45 pm

mum03 wrote:Well good topic, I am in a interrace marriage. :D My DH is a British. have been married for 10yrs. Culture wise, is like north and south pole. Totally different.
Compromising is the way to go, even bringing up our DD, he has his way of bringing up the girl, and me more asian way.My DH always says that I am very protective of my little girl. For him he prefers the girl to run around, let her fall, and rough it out, that is childhood.
For us, the child should not talk back to an elder, for him, its a conversation, nothing wrong in it, its call "EXPRESSION' :roll:
Has what the earlier post says, be color blind, give and take, and it will last a life time.


Where do you reside most of the time or you are always on the move?
Any problem adjusting to each other cultures?
Please advise other possible issues.

kiasimom
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Postby buds hubs » Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:55 pm

IMHO, love knows no boundaries.. and that includes boundaries between countries as well.

If two persons are destined to fall in love :love: , it doesn't matter whatever race, culture, background or religion they come from..

It all boils down to how each of them are willing to compromise and learn to adapt to one another.. the rest will be left to fate... :wink:

p/S; love is universal mah... :celebrate:

buds hubs
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Postby kiasimom » Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:58 pm

I have a filipina friend. Married to Australia. Told me many times the Australian think she is her husband's maid! :!:

Also, she says she feels and is treated like 3rd class citizen there.

kiasimom
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Postby mum03 » Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:07 pm

kiasimom wrote:Where do you reside most of the time or you are always on the move?
Any problem adjusting to each other cultures?
Please advise other possible issues.

We live in singapore, and as no intention of going back to U.K. My DH hates the weather there, but we do our annual pilgrimage to visit my MIL and Brother in law. We do not have problems adjusting to each other, as we know that we have different views, on certain things, there is no right or wrong view, its just difference in opinion. He is very straight forward with his comments, wherelse we are diplomatic and would not like to hurt other peoples feeling.
Initially I did had problems, when we have family get together, with his straight forward remarks, and opinion of things, but as years go by he understood our way of talking and he is still trying to adjust to our culture.
Life is a learning process, when I go over to visit his family, I do try to adjust to their way. But my dear hubby always stress that I do not have to do that to please anyone. But then again its our culture, to make eveyone happy. :wink:

mum03
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Inter-racial marriage!

Postby DesertWind » Wed May 26, 2010 11:27 am

Hi all, :D

I am in an inter-racial marriage. In my father's words, it is not the race that counts but the character of that person! Wow, I was quite impressed by my father's remarks when I first told him. Was worried parents would be against it but his reply surprised me by its wisdom!

Colour-blind is the word. Plus it is whether you can live with that person day in and day out with no major conflicts and be comfortable with each other. That means having the same taste or general opinion about things, same religion, compromise and be willing to give and take.

:celebrate:

DesertWind
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