loan gone bad...

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

loan gone bad...

Postby mummy OnABudget » Fri Aug 01, 2014 2:21 am

i dont know if this is the right place to post this i just need some opinion. My gf hubby approach me in june to ask for a loan citing he will pay me once he gets his pay in 3 days, now is been more then a month i have WA him earlier on to ask i been very patient i believe to wait more then a month before asking him, but now he does nt reply should i approach my gf his wife or continue just chasing the husband???

I am in a real dilemma here is not that i cannot forgo the loan but is more of a principle thing and 2ndly hubby knows about this loan and been asking me have he returned the loan everytime i say no he just keep quiet but i know he is very unhappy about it what will you do will u risk ur friendship by asking the wife or just coming up with the own amount from your own pocket to let your hubby be happy? or just continuing hounding the husband for it?

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby dolphinsiah » Fri Aug 01, 2014 10:33 am

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

This is how I treat money being borrowed to friends/relatives

There is a saying in Chinese

"借钱就要准备别人不还,否则别借.
  另救急不救穷,借给穷人就别指望还了,不然朋友都没的做".


So with this in my mind , I will normally pass my friend in need of $$$$ not more than SGD100 and tell them this is the best I can do for them.

If they pay back ,I consider myself lucky. If not treat as charity.

Hope this will help you when encountered the same situation.

Always bear this in mind - 借钱容以,还钱难!
Last edited by dolphinsiah on Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby finnfinn » Fri Aug 01, 2014 10:45 am

should be... 借錢容易,還錢難

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby dolphinsiah » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:16 am

finnfinn wrote:should be... 借錢容易,還錢難


Thank you for pointing out the error! I will make the correction.

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby auntieM » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:24 am

If he has to borrow from wife's gf.. ...guess you wouldn't be the only one.
How about talking to your gf about it?
From 3 days paying back to more than 30 still no news.. ... :moneyflies:
Hope it is not a big amount.. ...

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby PapayaDad » Fri Aug 01, 2014 12:05 pm

June...world cup...

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby mummy OnABudget » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:39 pm

At first he wanted to borrow a larger amount i directly said i dont have that much on hand then we settle on a smaller amount though not huge la but honestly feel disappointed, i do not know how too approach my gf cause later she might just turn around and ask me why i so silly to loan her hubby and what not and later end up they start quarreling also like not nice, i am lucky hubby just show unhappiness for now he have not voice out but he might and since last night the wa he never reply till now so am also at my wits end already.

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby starlight1968sg » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:49 pm

Totally agreed with 借钱就要准备别人不还,否则别借.

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby mummy OnABudget » Fri Aug 01, 2014 5:02 pm

starlight1968sg wrote:Totally agreed with 借钱就要准备别人不还,否则别借.


i am ok with the loan not being paid is just i guess is going to be very awkward the next time if we see each other dont u agree jut feel disappointed if a reply of i cannot make it this time can u give me more time i am ok or even i dont think i am able to pay u back is also ok just dont go MIA like this

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Re: loan gone bad...

Postby zbear » Sat Aug 02, 2014 1:39 pm

If you don't mind me saying - why do you lend gf's hubby without asking your gf first? Are you closer to him than to her?

Indeed, its going to be very awkward in future.

BTW, its very common for debtors to be MIA abt payment becos they will not have the $$$ to return n its pointless to make empty promises to you knowing that they wont be able to pay at all.

If you think you can afford to give charity, then why not close this chapter? If you still want their friendship, then pretend that nothing happened. If you feel you are better off without them, then stop being friends.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but this is the way I will handle the situation.

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