Affairs after Marriage

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.
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sparks
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by sparks » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:14 pm

Pls ask yr sis to spare a thought for her daughter's happiness first before her own.

janet88
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by janet88 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:49 pm

chixchix wrote: her hubby is the type who always feel that there is nothing wrong with me and takes things for granted. He will definitely get very mad with her if she talks about wanting to see a marriage adviser.

They just don't match in many ways,, you know how they met arrghh... love at first sight,,,after 2 week want to marry already without finding out likes and dislikes ..child came fast .She has no friends always at home, after work see tv sleep... my mum and i also don't like to go her house cos if the hubby around he will never smile or sit and talk .. i don't think many women can tolerate such life..

I have asked her how is she going to spend the next 10-12 years with her hubby..life is a boring page for her,, but she is happy with this new man.. They Skype every day,talk every night on wassup..

The man runs a big shipping firm and he wants to open a office in Singapore, and he has got connections here ..its a valid company as i have done some reference checks too ...

i honestly don't know where she is going to go.. her relationship with her kid also not so good,, cos the hubby doesn't bother about the child education ,,its just that whatever the child wants he gets... so the child not being so mannerful to my sis..
Seriously this should be a sit down approach between your sister and her hubby. Both got into the marriage and now they have to work on it. Seriously I feel no man will want to get involved with a married woman unless he is out for fun. Your sister, being lonely and desperate for attention will enjoy that courtship she misses.
Not just working on marital relationship but with the child too. Change the mobile no and forget that man.

happyheart
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by happyheart » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:29 pm

Your sister may have mistaken this new attention as Love. Think about it ...
Many of us here are married for years and we all know the relationship has evolved from lust, respect, love, responsibilities...and whatnot. Your sister and her hubby are definitely going through a rough patch. All these years, her hubby has been supportive of the family no matter what. Unless both have no feelings for each other, otherwise it will be worthwhile to open up the communication and talk it through.If they have no more feelings...that becomes another issue.

To go intimate is a dangerous thought. To think the guy will move business to Singapore and make your sister 'official' is a naive thought.

Ultimately, think about how your sister is going to explain to her child if, she ever really gets into an affair and got found out. Her hubby will not tolerate her betrayal and the child will see the mum in a different light. either way, not worth it :smile: My two-cents worth thought.

chixchix
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by chixchix » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:55 pm

Hi yes she did initiate..and she always does ,but i really don't know what to say ..there is a limit to patience also ,,anyway all i can do is to advise, rest its her

Thank you all for the replies.

:thankyou:

janet88
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by janet88 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:31 am

Chixchix,
Hope your sister and brother in law will seek counseling and reconcile.
Maybe they can go for a holiday...before that, stop all communication with that man first.


zbear
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by zbear » Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:00 am

janet_lee88 wrote: Change the mobile no and forget that man.

Forbidden fruit tastes sweetest.

schweppes
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by schweppes » Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:04 am

The one that will hurt and suffer the most is the child. :gloomy:

A minute of pleasure and a lifetime of pain and regret.

Jennifer
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by Jennifer » Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:12 am

chixchix wrote:what a headache..i know that she has been deprived of love all this years and it sucks to go home to a empty house voided of feelings
then get a proper divorce first IF no one is interested to keep the marriage going.

Dun think of getting into a new relationship as an escape out of an unhappy marriage.

chixchix
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by chixchix » Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:20 am

Hii all, divorce I don't think the husband will do cos they think its a taboo..well last evening she dropped a SMS to her husband asking him for the past 12 years they are married ,does he know what are her hobbies..and he said he doesn't know .and she told him that they have spent their life working and time has passed so fast that they never got to know each other..

going on a holiday is something very difficult..whenevr her kid has school holidays she has to ask him and bug him at least 10times before he agrees and when he does go on holiday he will drink and when he does, he will say something to her sarcastically about her ex boyfriend she had before marrying him..there was once they went on a holiday about 4 yrs back and he hit her with a belt.. she still hang on to him because she can't divorce and let the child suffer. I must say my sis has been through a lot.. In fact the husband's younger brother who is staying with them understands my sis more than her own husband and he himself said that he knows the husband has a good wife but dunno how to appreciate .

Now here is an example of what happened..in our culture its a good omen to have little yoghurt before you go out of the house if you want luck to be with you .( lol something like that ).

So she was sitting with her husband and the child beside them, so the child having little flu and said today got GEP exam so my sis said take little yoghurt before going to school.. then the husband said how can take cold yoghurt when the kid having flu... my sis replied nicely,, a little won't affect the child.. and you can talk nicely to me. And you know what the husband replied... bloodyfool women .. :stupid:

so how ? she just told him back that he doesn't need to be rude ,as if she wants she can be more rude..

She called me at night to tell me this.. aiyohhh

janet88
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Re: Affairs after Marriage

Post by janet88 » Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:23 am

Although many people feel that asking an unhappy couple to end the marriage is a sin, it beats committing infidelity. If both do not want to do anything to improve, then I have to commit a sin to say this, get a divorce. But the child will suffer the most. As it is, the child doesn't have a happy relationship with her parents, if the parents split, who will she be with?

Chixchix, if your sister is so unhappy and her husband is not the least understanding or considerate talking nicely to her, how to continue such a marriage? Calling her such a name is nasty and uncalled for. Divorce may not mean the end of the world and in this case may even provide your sister with some sanity.

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