KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

seaglass wrote:

jetsetter wrote: I assume "he" is married/divorced here.

In real life, not virtual, I've an odd gift of being able to draw out the innermost feelings/darkest secrets of a guy friend/colleague/boss. I don't need to probe or solicit or anything. Those male friends/colleagues will pour out their hearts to me--over a cuppa, lunch or a smoke (not me). It's not quite the meeting of the hearts as schweppes put it. But it's the coming out from their hearts, not minds.

What's from the heart? It could be their sexual problems (how to make DW pregnant), adulterous affairs with another married woman w kids, sexual fantasies (infatuations with another woman), social insecurities, classified information, etc.

I find it strange too, as some of these guy friends/colleagues are very shy/anti-social/private individuals in public. On quick checking w other female colleagues, I realise I'm the only "chosen" one w the classified info! I'm not a trained counsellor, but I'm very patient at listening and keeping their secret from the rest of our mutual friends/colleagues. I suppose my "Trust" index is rated very high amongst peers and superiors.

睫MM。。你是个危险人物。。。。

sleepy wrote:

jetsetter wrote:
In real life, not virtual, I've an odd gift of being able to draw out the inner feelings/darkest secrets of a guy friend/colleague/boss. I don't need to probe or solicit or anything. Those male friends/colleagues will pour out their hearts to me--over a cuppa, lunch or a smoke (not me). It's not quite the meeting of the hearts as schweppes put it. But it's the coming out from their hearts, not minds.

What's from the heart? It could be their sexual problems (how to make DW pregnant), adulterous affairs with another married woman w kids, sexual fantasies (infatuations with another woman), social insecurities, classified information, etc.

I find it strange too, as some of these guy friends/colleagues are very shy/anti-social/private individuals in public. I'm not a trained counsellor, but I'm very patient at listening and keeping their secret from the rest of our mutual friends/colleagues. I suppose my "Trust" index is rated very high amongst peers and superiors.

Haha, I'm the opposite of you.

I terminated all form of communications with a single male friend whom I know for 7 or 8 years. I see him as a mentor because we were in the same career track.

But it went downhill when he started telling me his sexual fantasies. In the middle of conversation he will switch gear and start telling me about his fantasies.

I'm super offended. Even if he wishes to confide in me but I really don't wish to know at all. And I think it is grossly improper of him to even raise such topic with me.

The first time I shown my discomfort and switched topic. The second time, I decided to terminate him for good. He crossed boundary between friends so I cut him off permanently.

jetsetter wrote:

janet_lee88 wrote:Humans have feelings. For women, the looks of the opposite sex is not important...if the guy is sensitive and caring, it can be easy to develop feelings...温柔1⃣️点，体贴1⃣️点, that will spell trouble if her own relationship is on the rocks.

Not true leh.

From my observations, that "if a woman portrays a fragile, frail, weak or soft image", a 温柔体贴 SNAG or an expressionless 四爷 will certainly fall for this damsel. Especially if this woman is lonely.

iFirefly wrote:

jetsetter wrote:
Not true leh.

From my observations, that "if a woman portrays a fragile, frail, weak or soft image", a 温柔体贴 SNAG or an expressionless 四爷 will certainly fall for this damsel. Especially if this woman is lonely.

If 若曦 is not a 美人, do you think 四爷 will fall for her ?

Looks do matter la, especially for women..
Else, 西施皱眉, 东施效颦.. And all the men will and a hundred miles !!!

iFirefly wrote:

jetsetter wrote:

janet_lee88 wrote:Humans have feelings. For women, the looks of the opposite sex is not important...if the guy is sensitive and caring, it can be easy to develop feelings...温柔1⃣️点，体贴1⃣️点, that will spell trouble if her own relationship is on the rocks.

Not true leh.

From my observations, that "if a woman portrays a fragile, frail, weak or soft image", a 温柔体贴 SNAG or an expressionless 四爷 will certainly fall for this damsel. Especially if this woman is lonely.

If 若曦 is not a 美人, do you think 四爷 will fall for her ?

Looks do matter la, especially for women..
Else, 西施皱眉, 东施效颦.. And all the men will and a hundred miles !!!

jetsetter wrote:
Oh sorry didn't see this just now

Yours was you were that mentor's "object of desire" mah, so you felt uneasy and did what you thought was right which was to cut him off.

Mine a bit different cos I wasn't the "object of desire" aka "the other woman" in all the above confessions. The pp who shared sparingly were very intelligent professionals (not ah beng ah seng) who probably didn't know whom to confide in and picked me, because I'm not the 三姑六婆 type of friend and my threshold for explicit details is relatively high.

sleepy wrote: No, I'm not his "object of desire".

At his age and job level, I thought he should have more sense to know what is appropriate and what is inappropriate topic to talk to a female friend

jetsetter wrote:

janet_lee88 wrote:Humans have feelings. For women, the looks of the opposite sex is not important...if the guy is sensitive and caring, it can be easy to develop feelings...温柔1⃣️点，体贴1⃣️点, that will spell trouble if her own relationship is on the rocks.

Not true leh.

From my observations, that "if a woman portrays a fragile, frail, weak or soft image", a 温柔体贴 SNAG or an expressionless 四爷 will certainly fall for this damsel. Especially if this woman is lonely.

chixchix wrote:Hi all need some advise, about my sister,, i don't know who to talk to so i thought lets post here.now my sister she is in her middle 30s, married for 13 yrs and has 1 child.

She is a fun loving ,happy type of girl who can smile all the time,,as for her hubby ,he is quiet type,doesn't talk much, ( wasn't like this last time ) ..even sex life is going down the drain ,,her hubby has diabetes and seems like their sex session doesn't last more than 15mins, and my sister doesn't mind about that ,,but its just that she is not feeling loved and has spoken to her hubby about her feeling lonely and he is not spending time with her. but seems like he takes it too lightly to bother.

Now she met someone online ,and the new guy is always on wassup with her , both of them have lots of things in common and he makes her happy,, that guy is not a local and he will be coming to singapore next month. she wants to meet him ..I advised her not to. .but since i have also seen him online ,i felt that he is sincere about her

She doesn't want her hubby to find out ,and doesn't want her marriage to break but she just wants to feel loved.

That guy is also making plans to shift his business to Singapore.. i told her ok to meet him for a chat and coffee..but seems like she is thinking of getting intimate with him,

What do you ladies think ? do you think its ok for her to keep this relationship a secret ? She has been tolerating her husband for many years now, He is not a bad husband but he just doesn't know how to keep his wife happy and even if he knows he is the type to play ignorance