CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby newaccountuser » Tue Feb 17, 2015 1:42 am

It's that time of the year again to face the music. My MIL is a tough woman. Wonder whose MIL is fr the "same village"?
She said my name is not good. (She is so good or her son is so good, why am I here in their life?)
Can't wash my undie & her son's undie together? I wonder why my hubby & his siblings can allow this to happen in the 1st place? & tolerate this for all these years? His washed by the maid, mine? I've to do it myself? It's such a joke. (I stick up on disposable ones after that)

Frankly, after married, I love my parents more.
Pardon me for my rant. It's that time of the year again to face the music...

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby lee_yl » Tue Feb 17, 2015 8:56 am

Is your MIL from Hainan? Sounds familiar, when I got married, the first thing my MIL asks me is to buy 2 washing machines, 1 for my hubby's exclusive use and another for me and her to use. According to my MIL, women are "dirty" and the laundry should be separated. Plus, this exclusion is also extended to the drying bamboos, clothes pegs and hangers. She has a colour code to differentiate all these items! Not to mention that in our wardrobe, my hubby's clothes are supposed to be hanged higher than mine.

There was an occasion when my hubby was sitting on the floor watching TV when I walked across his legs and my MIL suddenly came forward to hit me. Her reason? I was not supposed to cross my hubby's body as it was supposed to bring him bad luck.

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby starlight1968sg » Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:00 am

I am blessed that my MIL (passed on) didnt have such restrictions on me.
I wonder how would these MIL feel when their daughters face such a similar MIL.

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby janet88 » Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:07 am

starlight1968sg wrote:I am blessed that my MIL (passed on) didnt have such restrictions on me.
I wonder how would these MIL feel when their daughters face such a similar MIL.

there will be double standards for sure.
with their daughters-in-law, they expect perfection...but if their daughters face same treatment, they might teach their daughters to 当做耳边风

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby slmkhoo » Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:11 am

Do the husbands stand up to their mothers to 'protect' their wives? I would expect mine to. My husband would explain our practices to my mil when they were strange to her. Thankfully, my mil was also a very non-interfering sort.

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby starlight1968sg » Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:12 am

janet88 wrote:
starlight1968sg wrote:I am blessed that my MIL (passed on) didnt have such restrictions on me.
I wonder how would these MIL feel when their daughters face such a similar MIL.

there will be double standards for sure.
with their daughters-in-law, they expect perfection...but if their daughters face same treatment, they might teach their daughters to 当做耳边风

The daughter-in-law is also another mother's precious.
As mothers, let us remind ourselves not to impose or continue with such rules ...
Sorry, I can't help but to laugh when I read that one needs 2 WMs. The kitchen or yard is already small, where to put the 2nd WM.

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby janet88 » Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:18 am

our children are precious. other children are also precious.
with such small families now, we should respect future sons or daughters in law and vice versa.

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby 12mum » Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:26 am

Usually it will be one ear in and the other ear out for me. Worse is dh sometimes small minor things also asked mil and sil. :roll:

I :nunchuk: him a few times when instead of discussing with me, he went to ask them wrt matters concerning the kids and our family.

I find one ear in the other ear out works well for me. Either this or for any matters I told them to ask him ( took me a while to train dh to discuss with me first before giving immediate answer).

A man needs to be trained otherwise is :slapshead: :stupid: :frustrated: for the wife.

Man and woman can be 孝顺 but cannot be 愚孝。

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby janet88 » Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:43 am

this is a sensitive topic which should be parked under 'in-laws'. never ending problems.

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Re: CNY - that time of the year again to face the challenge

Postby EatNonStop » Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:55 am

Most of the time, there will be conflicts between DIL & MIL reason being.....You as the DIL took away her son (MIL) love/obedience/finance etc that she had invested for the past xx years!.....So u see, there is also the difference between DIL vs Daughter...

放不下,就背着
看不开,就记着
捨不得,就留着
有一天
背不动了,就放下了
记不清了,就看开了
留不住了,就捨得了

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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