"To love and to cherish, honour and be faithful to.....

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

"To love and to cherish, honour and be faithful to.....

Postby 3Boys » Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:31 pm

Ever wondered about your wedding vows? Why do some traditions require them and that you take them in front of witnesses?

Marriage is effectively a contract. A contract to enter into a marital relationship. And a marital relationship has many aspects. Fidelity is one covenant of marriage, i.e., you have promised, in front of witnesses, and if you are a believer, before God, that you will be faithful to your spouse.

You have also promised, to enter into a marital relationship. Perhaps ask yourself what constitutes a marital relationship. Love, support, cherish? Honour and uphold? Intimacy, both emotional and physical? Sound reasonable so far?

Not true? For instance, non-consumation is grounds for annulment of marriage. Not divorce mind you, annulment, i.e. the contract is void as a condition of the contract has not been fulfilled.

So yes, marriage (at least my concept of it) is a contract and at the very least a partnership between 2 people, who have entered it to support, love, cherish each other, be a good husband/wife. We focus on fidelity, which we should, but if we do not look after the rest, the contract is not complete.

Beyond a partnership, it is the 'one-ness' of marriage that makes it so wonderful. My wife looks out for me, cares for my well-being, and I hers. We are responsible for each other. If one fails, we have both failed.

That is my view of marriage, which is what makes it so intoxicating for me. After so many years, I am still giddy for my wife. But she makes it soooo easy........

This, of course, may not be your view.

3Boys
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To love and to cherish, honour and be faithful to.....??

Postby buds » Tue Jan 19, 2010 1:03 pm

3Boys wrote:Beyond a partnership, it is the 'one-ness' of marriage that makes it so wonderful. My wife looks out for me, cares for my well-being, and I hers. We are responsible for each other. If one fails, we have both failed.


This may not always be the thought of many though..
I've seen this in the form of custody struggles over children where i've
worked. Both parents tugging at a child's arm, saying he's mine... nooo
he's MINE... and it's all your fault... NOOO it was YOUR fault, this has to
happen.

3Boys wrote:That is my view of marriage, which is what makes it so intoxicating for me. After so many years, I am still giddy for my wife. But she makes it soooo easy........

This, of course, may not be your view.


She's one lucky chick. And i'm sure she oredi knows that. :celebrate:

buds
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Postby peapot » Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:56 pm

Agree!! your wife is sure lucky!!!

peapot
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Postby Guest » Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:39 pm

:congrats: Mr and Mrs 3Boys! :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

For Mrs 3boys.... :ugogirl:

Marriage is a contract, having a soul-mate is beyond the contract.
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Postby 3Boys » Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:24 am

Aiyoh,
I paiseh leh. Not here to trumpet what a wonderful marriage I have lah. DW and me are ordinary people, with the same weaknesses as other people and subject to the same temptations. Things that put us in good staed, I believe, are a traditional view of sex and marriage, and the firm desire to put our relationship first. I suppose we are lucky to have found our soul mates.....

What I was trying to highlight in my post was that we focus on one issue in marriage, fidelity, which is absolutely critical and underpins the trust that is needed in a marriage. But we should not forget/ignore other aspects as well.....

3Boys
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