KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

In life, we are tempted in more ways than we know of... the latest techno gadgets like handphones, the latest toys for kids, the most fashionable statement-making outfit, the best golf clubs.....etc...

But all these temptations are mild as at most it burns a hole in the pocket and you gotta slog hard to make it back.

Spinning off from the EMA and the marriage contract thread...perhaps you can share your experience of near-temptations that you have managed to overcome yourself.

In a way, these are minor victories that you have made for yourself as an individual but major victory you have made for your family.

Come share...even if it is others' stories it is fine...we can learn alot from it.. We like to see the "Strength of Mind at work"

Psstttt...ks2me. You share first le..Otherwise, other will be hesitant or to shy to share.

A quick look at my ballooning bills and my bank account is a sure remedy for any shopping-lust.

A quick look at my ballooning tummy... no one would even care to lust.

I would avoid being in a position or place that allow myself to be tempted.

I would FLEE from the source of temptation.

tankee wrote:I would avoid being in a position or place that allow myself to be tempted.

This is a FANTASTIC one, tankee.
And i truly respect you for that.

Coming from a man too... i think this is
sound. Why put oneself to the brinks of
temptations when you know you already
have what you need.. why expose it to
the wilds of evils in the first place...

This should go for not being in the company
of spoil markets aka the cheater-friends...
***** (accidental pop-ups or intentional
downloads)... look look see see only what's in
there... (brothels, massage parlours, service
columns)...

Like insider, i could've done it if i wanted to..
when i still had the body for it too.. Wuakakah!
I could be an absolute vase i tell you and some
of these stupid men like it like hell and i could oso
transform into the smart aleck independent kinda
woman & a different category of men can dig that
too...

When i had issues with my husband, i could've
just contacted some lonely bloke i once knew
or ring up "social" services but if i didn't want
the same thing to happen to me since i think
it'd be sick if i were the victim of a straying
spouse, then all the more i shouldn't do it
myself.

Don't do to others what you
don't want others do unto you..

insider wrote:Exposing to temptations, even for those preschoolers / young ones, is not something bad. I believe such exposures build more resilience / mental strength into the children as they have to think (with age appropriate temptations such as sweets, etc) what is right or wrong in order to say yes or no...

I tend to believe if one has the right mental strength, he/she will not succumb to the evils. Avoiding may not be the best policy...

Oh well, all things said and done... right mental strength is not what
everyone has. Another person's weakness can be another person's
strength... this is very subjective and as pe the individual mind and
body too of course.

A pre-schooler i once had could turn blue at the lick of any candy.
He had it repeatedly drilled in him that he would literally die if he
ate one. And a colleague had forgotten we do not have this policy
of rewarding with candy and chocs and the likes for ANY good work
or behaviour. The boy toyed with the idea and in the school bus he
kept looking at it... putting it back into his pocket and only to take it
out again and look... Before alighting at his stop he admited (later)
to taking a quick lick and kept it in his pocket. He developed almost
immediate breathlessness and had to be brought straight to hospital.

When he resumed school of course with a fit from the parents and
you ask him again if he would be tempted by another sweet his
whole life ever he said, "I don't want to die. Mummy will be sad if
i died like that. Cos i didn't listen to her. She takes care of me so
well so that i would live on and be together with her. I want mummy
too, so no more sweets for me, ever."

Burnt once the child learnt. And likewise for insider mebbe one can
overlook the one off kinda stint and this said in no way justifying the
action AT ALL. But some do not feel the heat once the burn heals... &
they go on and on and on. Do we forgive more than that once or twice
or just say bye-bye? Or just cos the person is good in many ways than
one, we can overlook that one flaw of the overwhelming lust and the
need for variety?

tankee wrote:I would avoid being in a position or place that allow myself to be tempted.

That's what I would do too.
But... it's really so difficult to be able to identify a position or place because you just slip in so easily without even realising it.

Lust or EMAs usually start from normal friendships with the opposite sex. You think he's just being nice (as a male friend) and he might think that it seems okay to be more 'gentleman' to you as a lady. But such 'nice feelings' would somehow or rather just continue to spin into more intimate friendships and then just before you realise it, you end up in bed with another.

I don't think I can consider myself 'free from lust' bec I have err-ed too unknowingly when I was still dating my very serious then bf. It just started from a normal friendship among the guys (I'm like the only lady that they like to talk to and go out with) and somehow it became all complicated and I found myself in this sticky situation. There was no love, just pure lust. It was only when I was told by this other bf that I'm his No.3 (3 current gfs), I was like huh... *should have given him this tight slap*

Didn't tell anyone. Quickly did a break-up and went back to my reality bf. Silly right? I thought I was 'toying this guy's feelings' but instead I was his toy. It wasn't bec of his looks or his body, just that he was very different from my bf for he is the sweet-talk charming type. My bf was more passionate on the inside but look very cold on the outside. So it might have been this difference that attracted me. I don't know, don't really want to know too.

So, well, humans do err...

tankee wrote:I would avoid being in a position or place that allow myself to be tempted.

I believe in that too!

Don't subject the relationship to unnecessary test. Without the test, perhaps there's still a good chance to 白头谐老.

I would rather not find out whether my relationship can survive a test