How good are your bedroom manners

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How good are your bedroom manners

Postby LKVM » Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:18 am

[Editor's note: Topic selected for Portal publication.]

Admit it, sharing your bed with someone is quite a special affair. It doesn’t matter whether you have been in a relationship for a long time or just entered into one, the fact that you are sharing a personal space with someone means you can’t be blasé about it.

However, despite sharing mindboggling chemistry, couples often lose the plot when it comes to bedroom matters. And the reasons can be something as simple as not following certain etiquettes while being in bed. Think about it, how many times have your partner made you grit your teeth with his snoring or sleep talking? These are just some of the minor irritants. The trick lies in not letting these romance-busters impact your otherwise sexciting life.

Negotiating cuddles
Problem: Sure, spooning and cuddling after an amazing session in the bed is one of the many joys of coupledom. But that doesn’t mean you spoon for such a long time, you feel like the kitchen silverware. Most men (and some women), would like nothing but to go to sleep after sex. But what if your partner wants to do nothing but cuddle?

Way out: Compromise. Before falling asleep, spend some time snuggling together, whisper a few sweet nothings and then agree to sleep apart after a while. Most of the time it happens naturally. At some point, you might have to be frank and say ‘I think I need some sleep now’. But sugarcoat it with a “love you”. Just so that s/he wouldn’t think you are an insensitive jerk.

Snoring or fidgeting
Problem: One partner might be a light sleeper who tosses just a bit. The other tosses and turns so much he/she almost pushes the partner out of bed. One person might be a light snorer; the other wakes up the entire neighbourhood. Result: restless sleep and cranky mornings.

Way out: Don’t overreact. If you are a heavy snorer, gift yourself nasal strips/ decongestants/ a visit to the doctor. If you are the sufferer, buy ear plugs, or try to put on some light music. Subtly mention to your partner how disturbed you get by loud snoring, right in the beginning of the relationship, without sounding angry or irritated (even if you are!). And as for violent tossing and turning, the remedy is to simply get a bigger mattress. In both cases, just adopt a sense of humour and try to make light of the situation so that he/she gets the message but doesn’t feel you are being too fussy.

Bed-time blues
Problem: You are a morning person and love to hit the sack by 10 pm. But your sweetheart loves his/her late night movies and can’t get a wink of sleep until the clock strikes two.

Way out: Designate a ‘lights out’ policy. Agree on say, 30 or 40 minutes of television or reading when you go to bed, but once the first person falls asleep, ideally, the other should call it a night too. Else, try reading a book with a personal lamp until you’re ready to doze off. If you are an early riser, don’t flood the room with lights when you arise. Use minimal lighting while your partner is sleeping.

What’s the décor?
Problem: You would rather keep your bedroom intimate, cosy and warm. However, there’s your partner who insists on having his/her entire family’s pictures on the walls.

Way out: Absolutely non-negotiable. This is a space between two adults, where you need to feel intimate. There is no need to feel like you have your families watching your each and every move.

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Postby westmom » Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:09 am

Good tips! This reminds me of an article published in ST some time back about how "bed" disturbances have been affecting health of couples. I think there was a research done and couples have been advised to take measures to "reduce" disturbances to improve their health (physical & mental), moods and general well being.

Now I come to understand why some people in the west (mostly) are choosing to sleep on separate beds. It's to avoid the tossing and turning that are disrupting the partner's sleep - (most of us do not realise this ..how come we are still so tired after a good nite's sleep!?). In Asian society, this has not catched on yet ...maybe it's because of our limited bedroom size or that it just does not feel right not to sleep beside your spouse. I can offer a simple solution for this (if one does not mind the aesthetic aspect) - simply buy 2 single mattresses (& 2 similar bedsheets) but join together in a King bedframe. However, need to be careful because not all King bedframe are cut out to accomodate 2 single mattresses. This works much much better than buying a King mattress that has what's it called... motion transfer minimised kind. It is slightly more expensive to buy 2 singles than 1 king but it is really worth the investment for a better night Zzzzzz...

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Postby LKVM » Mon Mar 01, 2010 10:56 am

westmom wrote:simply buy 2 single mattresses (& 2 similar bedsheets) but join together in a King bedframe. However, need to be careful because not all King bedframe are cut out to accomodate 2 single mattresses. This works much much better than buying a King mattress that has what's it called... motion transfer minimised kind. It is slightly more expensive to buy 2 singles than 1 king but it is really worth the investment for a better night Zzzzzz...


Thats really good suggestion!!! cause at the end of the day we need good nite sleep to remove all our tiredness ... wat to do bout the snoreness!! :stupid:

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Postby westmom » Mon Mar 01, 2010 9:50 pm

lovekidsverymuch wrote:
westmom wrote:simply buy 2 single mattresses (& 2 similar bedsheets) but join together in a King bedframe. However, need to be careful because not all King bedframe are cut out to accomodate 2 single mattresses. This works much much better than buying a King mattress that has what's it called... motion transfer minimised kind. It is slightly more expensive to buy 2 singles than 1 king but it is really worth the investment for a better night Zzzzzz...


Thats really good suggestion!!! cause at the end of the day we need good nite sleep to remove all our tiredness ... wat to do bout the snoreness!! :stupid:


Err...kick the fella out of the room!? haha....Actually it's very strange for me, I am more sensitive to "movement" than noise. My dh does snore every once in a while but I'm not that bothered. He "moves" a bit and I wake up! Come to think of it, to those who are sensitive to both movement and snores, you can solve half your problem with my suggestion - so at least you get to reduce half the disturbances !

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Postby 2ppaamm » Mon Mar 01, 2010 11:04 pm

westmom wrote:Err...kick the fella out of the room!? haha....Actually it's very strange for me, I am more sensitive to "movement" than noise. My dh does snore every once in a while but I'm not that bothered. He "moves" a bit and I wake up! Come to think of it, to those who are sensitive to both movement and snores, you can solve half your problem with my suggestion - so at least you get to reduce half the disturbances !

But if the snore is so loud, you can still hear him even if he is on a different mattress. You can hear him in the other room! It's like a orchestra... :?:

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Postby carebear » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:00 am

The other solution to excessive movements during sleep is to sleep on futon laid on a tatami floor!

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Postby LKVM » Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:55 am

2ppaamm wrote:But if the snore is so loud, you can still hear him even if he is on a different mattress. You can hear him in the other room! It's like a orchestra... :?:


:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

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Postby LKVM » Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:56 am

carebear wrote:The other solution to excessive movements during sleep is to sleep on futon laid on a tatami floor!


:!:

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Postby Andaiz » Tue Mar 02, 2010 2:05 pm

2ppaamm wrote:
westmom wrote:Err...kick the fella out of the room!? haha....Actually it's very strange for me, I am more sensitive to "movement" than noise. My dh does snore every once in a while but I'm not that bothered. He "moves" a bit and I wake up! Come to think of it, to those who are sensitive to both movement and snores, you can solve half your problem with my suggestion - so at least you get to reduce half the disturbances !

But if the snore is so loud, you can still hear him even if he is on a different mattress. You can hear him in the other room! It's like a orchestra... :?:


If it's an orchestra :!: :!: and yet DH is oblivious about this, still wakes up tired etc....time to check if he's got sleep apnae! :pray:

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Postby westmom » Wed Mar 03, 2010 9:33 pm

2ppaamm wrote:
westmom wrote:Err...kick the fella out of the room!? haha....Actually it's very strange for me, I am more sensitive to "movement" than noise. My dh does snore every once in a while but I'm not that bothered. He "moves" a bit and I wake up! Come to think of it, to those who are sensitive to both movement and snores, you can solve half your problem with my suggestion - so at least you get to reduce half the disturbances !

But if the snore is so loud, you can still hear him even if he is on a different mattress. You can hear him in the other room! It's like a orchestra... :?:


An orchestra?.....oops that bad...poor you! do you have eye bags then haha..?
Have you tried some anti snoring stuff that are in the market. Maybe for natural stuff, you try Sterimar - it works well for dd's allergy and my mom's sinus. They claimed it's good for snoring too...What I like about it is it's all natural..even safe for babies!

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