Why does MUM has to make all the Decision?????

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Why does MUM has to make all the Decision?????

Postby sTresSmUm » Tue Jan 29, 2008 4:48 pm

Sometimes...i wonder if it is because MUMMIES are more kaisu or simply more concern about the children's future?

Why does mum has to be ONE TO...decide...

Which preschool or primary school to send the children to, the type of enrichment class, which brand of milk (to make them smarter and healthier..aahaha..) and the list GOES on and ON.

All the daddy has to do is
1) Say "okie".. (after you have done all our research) OR
2) Give some suggestion and expected the mummy to ACT on it.

ahah...do i sound that i am complaining or WAT? :lol:

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Postby ChiefKiasu » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:06 pm

Hmm... I thought someone commented that there are more daddies than mummies on THIS forum? The world is changing... you know.

Sometimes it's the way the family team (mummy and daddy) is structured. I'm sure u have unwritten rules about who gets to decide on what in the family. In any team, there has to be a decision maker, even though there is nothing stopping members from contributing if they care enough about the problems the team is handling. Too many indian chiefs can cause other problems and unhappiness. Perhaps in your case, daddy is just respecting your position as the decision maker, and do not want to contradict your opinions.

Of course it is easier said than done. Men are generally much more concerned about bringing in the bread than cleaning after the kids. I myself only started realizing the implication of not being involved with my kids' growth when my son started P1... a little late by kiasu parents' definition, but hey, I've learnt much along the way. At the baby/toddler level, it's really hard to imagine that many men will be that involved, simply because they don't know how.

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Postby super_dad » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:32 pm

eh...bring up children very difficult meh...
:roll:

*running for cover....*

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Postby sTresSmUm » Tue Jan 29, 2008 9:57 pm

hey super_dad! make sure the cover is not leaking...hahaha...

Bringing up children during our parent's era might not be so stressful and difficult as our's! I don't remember my parents signing me up for "this n that classes".....Have fond memories of being so carefree.

Looked at our children...abacus, phonics..

At times, i do wonder if i am being kiasu or realistic as these are "skills" that they will come in handy when they started formal education or simply giving them an edge over children that does not have any?

True, i do agreed that many men do not get involved at baby/toddler's level. But i think it would be great that they do..at least it is not so stressful for the decision maker. Reason being, the mummy is also worried about making the WRONG decision..will if it does turned out to be a disaster, at least it is DONE BY BOTH. ahahha...

BTW, is it true that there are more daddies than mummies in this forum??? :lol:

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Postby ChiefKiasu » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:48 pm

sTresSmUm wrote:BTW, is it true that there are more daddies than mummies in this forum??? :lol:


You got check out super_dad's fishing blog or not? It was in the other threads about some outdoor trip. I think he looks as daddy as could be right? I'm a daddy too. Check out the Newbies forum to see the rest of the parents who bother to announce their presence. It's quite even, actually.

So yes... when it comes to being kiasu, both mummies and daddies qualify. Not so for babyhood stuff though. Guys are just not interested in those, although I had a most weird session with some of my colleagues (all guys) during lunch one day when we were trying to give "advice" to a daddy-to-be. The conversation turned to breast pumps and I think the details discussed with regards to the mechanics of these manual and automatic devices would have boggled the mind of anyone who were within ear-shot of our conversation. The depth of knowledge was astounding :lol:

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Postby jedamum » Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:29 am

As a SAHM, I told my husband not to meddle with my 'child-rearing' skills unless I seek his opinion. I told him to leave what I do best to me, as I leave what he does best to himself ie to bring home the dough. Consultations on enrichment needed from him basically revolves around 2 things...'we got enough $$ to spare' and 'you got time to chauffeur the kids'? :lol: I am working hard on my drivers license now though. :)

As for active forummers, at the Newbie thread it is
ChiefKiasu, super_dad, kiasukiasi vs sTresSmUm, Mami_Jazz, jedamum.
Not sure which side phantom is on.... :D

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Postby super_dad » Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:28 am

Lately I got another duty...check my girl's music theory homework. Wah...my music all rusty already..and lately getting quite difficult. Last time grade 1, 2, I can just scan it in 1 minute. Now, got to rack my brain. Tiring....Her homework got wrongs, she blame me. *grumble*.

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Postby sTresSmUm » Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:29 am

I am a SAHM too. Thought of taking a break from all the decision making..ahaha....Guess life is nothing but decision, decision..and more of IT.

Hey, 3 daddies vs 3 mummies. Guess it all boils down to phantom!

Speaking of music, is it a good idea to get children exposed to music instruments? My 3 boys seem to have an infinity to music, but i thought boys being boys...i rather get them started on golf, gym rather than music. Not sure if i have the correct thinking?

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Postby super_dad » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:47 pm

Music is a skill that you need to start young. Kind of like cycling....once you get older, you will find it difficult to have the discipline to practise and practise over and over again.

Golf can wait....gym, if the child is keen, also need to start young.

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Postby ChiefKiasu » Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:30 pm

super_dad wrote:Music is a skill that you need to start young. Kind of like cycling....once you get older, you will find it difficult to have the discipline to practise and practise over and over again.

Golf can wait....gym, if the child is keen, also need to start young.


Yuh... absolutely agree. But aside from aesthetics like music, there are certain sports which you need to start them young too... things like swimming and gymnastics. Best to be at 4 years old. Beyond Pri 3, it is impossible for kids to grow any real talent from these hard core sports. Things like fencing and golf can wait, unless you are trying to grow a tiger woods.

BTW... I believe phantom is a guy too... so daddies win! Yeah!

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