Jokes thread

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Re: Jokes thread

Postby janice.g » Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:27 pm

The biggest mistakes made by men and women after marriage...

The biggest mistake of women is to expect that their men will change after marriage... But they don't!

What about men?

The biggest mistake of men is to expect that their women won't change after marriage... But they do!!! :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

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Re: Jokes thread

Postby BigDevil » Mon Nov 07, 2016 5:09 pm

What superheroes do when not saving the world.....

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Re: Jokes thread

Postby pinky » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:58 pm

A President job is like working in a cemetery. All the people are under you but no one is listening.

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Re:

Postby studentsellingoldtoys » Mon Jan 02, 2017 9:57 pm

BigDevil wrote:NINE SCARY WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! !

(5) Loud Sigh This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8\) Whatever ! Is a woman's way of saying F*** YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.


I've heard some of these from my mom before :yikes:

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Re: Jokes thread

Postby mothernancy » Mon Jan 02, 2017 10:04 pm

Who cleans the ocean floor?













Mermaid.

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Re: Jokes thread

Postby Chloetanscgs » Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:20 am

Why does the tortoise cross the road?
To go to the shell station

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Re: Jokes thread

Postby Chloetanscgs » Wed Feb 01, 2017 1:57 am


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