KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

Hi I would like to share some good articles to parents, if you have please share too

用心啟發，孩子上學不應酬
教育部給學校一套範本，上課時老師照課本教、逐字唸；一學期裡要教完多少章節，都是規定好的。老師教學時不需要用心沒有好好靜思，學生想老師都可以不用心，當然唸書的孩子也是應酬應酬。

　　有則關於「應酬」的趣聞：有位企業家，每天忙忙碌碌，一早出門後很晚才回家。

　　有一次兒子問他：「爸爸！你怎麼都不回來吃晚餐？怎麼很少跟我們談心？我常常見不到爸爸哪！」「唉！」爸爸嘆口氣說：「你知道嗎？爸爸也是很無奈，每天都要應酬啊！」兒子好奇的問：「什麼是『應酬』？」爸爸說：「應酬．．．就是我的心不願意，又不得不做。」兒子說：「哦！不願意做又不得不做就是『應酬』啊！」隔天早上，小孩背起書包時，就對爸爸說：「爸爸再見！我要去『應酬』了。」
　　
　　這則對談，正說明現在的學生也是在應酬我們，老師沒有用心啟發孩子一片清淨的心地，沒有好好的播下良善的種子，學生沒有一點心得，沒辦法把書唸出興趣，沒有興趣就不高興上課了，可是又不得不來上課，師生之間彼此「應酬」，怎能教出好的學生呢？

　　現在的教育總是一番應酬形式，得過且過的心理，所以，整體的教育環境變得停滯、不積極；話又說回來，老師的心被現在的社會環境所影響，不再很用心、守本份、盡本事。

淨化己心，傳道授業解惑

　　很高興，我面前坐著的都是「有心」的老師，守在教職的本份，真正稟持著一份投入志業的精神；你們懷抱過去所選擇的人生方向，以教育為人生目標，這就是「志業」；是為了教育普天下的學子，這也就是「傳道、授業、解惑」的精神。接觸慈濟之後，你們用盡心思，想辦法以簡單的靜思語，先淨化己心，再發揮教育的良能。

　　所以，「靜思語教學」的意義，應該是自己先靜思，然後才付出教育。

　　古聖先賢所說的話，應該比「靜思語」更好更有教育意義，這些金科玉律，經教育部採用訂為教科書；然而在教育體制下，老師趕進度，照本宣科，學生讀書也是應付考試，大家沒有將聖賢的至理名言好好靜思，所以變成「彼此的應酬」。

因緣難會聚，歡喜慈濟行

　　而「靜思語」為什麼對老師發揮教育能如此好用！能有這麼好的成果！一切源起於「緣」字。「緣」，人與人之間都有份緣，有了緣彼此就很投機；在佛教的說法是「契機投教」。因為我們每個人都很契機，所以我說的理念與精神，你們可以接受，用世俗的話語就是「投緣」。

　　人如果有緣，見賢聞名就會起歡喜心；這份歡喜心就是契緣的動機，有了動機就會想加入這個團體，加入後，聽了良善、感人的事很歡喜，起了歡喜心就會「甘願做」，甘願做就容易結歡喜的緣，有了歡喜緣就會很自在、很輕安；能輕安自在，就會用心投入人群，這就是「善的循環」，像法輪不斷的轉，轉一股好緣、轉更多力量。

　　各位老師先以「靜思語」淨化己心，靜思後真心的付出，這就是「誠則靈」。老師的用心，用得真誠而懇切，這份至誠會發生感應．．．你跟學生間的感應；所以學生會很歡喜的接受你們的指導，感應不是求佛、求菩薩，才叫感應。

　　真正的感應是人與人之間的心靈互應，你呼他應，你教他受，這就是「教與受」。

各位老師，你們的用心、你們的付出，讓學生的心真正感動，所以他們很願意接受「靜思語教學」，將它用在日常生活中，落實在家庭，進而能夠影響家長，這點點滴滴都是一個「緣」！

觀機逗教，深入眾生心

　　老師們！我知道大家身處現在社會的大環境，從事教育工作十分辛苦，希望這份無奈和無力感已經過去了；因為現在起，我們彼此有緣齊聚一堂，相互鼓勵、互相砌磨，用心運用「靜思語教學」，淨化己心進而教化人心。因為這是累生累世結來的好緣，所以大家都能接受、珍 惜；這份緣，也就是「觀機逗教」。

　　我們應該善用這份緣觀機逗教，讓「這份緣」、「這份機」能入眾生心。現在「靜思語教學」不止力行於台灣，在國外，很多有心人也採用靜思語教學，大家都覺得很受用，我很感恩！累生以來，曾跟人家廣結善緣。

　　因為有這份好緣，才能合現在的根基，發揮一份教育的良能，這就是「善緣」，希望大家都能珍惜這份好緣，運用於現在的時機。

做個起而行的「人師 」 　　

　　「教學！」「教學！」在教人的當中，就是在學；學了之後就是大家開始付出、力行的時候。各位老師，「學」是一件很辛苦的事，但是「教」比「學」還要辛苦；因為真正的教，不只是在口頭上的授業，也不只是當一位解釋經典的人，而是要做一個真正行經的人。

　　要做「經師」不如做「人師」，做個真正「教人」的老師，不是「教書」的老師，你們要做個教人的老師，當「人師」，不只是當老師而已。

　　大家都希望年輕，但是老了後，就會覺得是老資格了；自稱我是「老」師，有個「老」在先，就表示自己學得已很老道，不想再學了，這樣我們一定不會進步。諸位老師，我們要做個「起而行」的人，不要只是「坐而言」，要「以身作則」帶人。所以，老師最重要的是要當「人師」；希望大家永遠青春、永遠年輕，才能夠永遠精進學習。

　　有「學」才能教，「學而教、教而學」達到良善的循環。祝福大家功德無量，福慧雙修！

Are you restricting your child's creativity?

People label creativity as an innate talent, approaching it with a self-discouraging attitude that silently speaks 'I just don't have it." This mindset is so contagious that children catch onto it quick. The last thing a child needs is to be told that he or she can't do something. The truth is creativity is not a talent, but a skill. It can be learned, developed, fostered, and mastered.

If you're questioning the importance of creativity, here's why it's so significant: creativity is an essential component in expression, happiness, and success. Being creative allows the individual to be more flexible when encountering problems, which will naturally pave different avenues for the person to approach the issue. Now that we've understood the nits and grits of creativity, here's how you can foster this precious skill in children.

Children require resources to express themselves creatively. They require tools, toys, and objects to fumble around with. They also need an adequate amount of space and time. What this translates to is that your patience with them is absolutely necessary; because you're going to be cleaning up after their creative mess! The best playthings for your children to foster creativity includes art materials, building materials, blocks, or even Lego (just be sure your child doesn't swallow any!).

As a parent or an adult, you automatically become a role model in a child's eyes. Be as encouraging and participative as you can be when you're experiencing a child's imaginative behaviour. The worst thing you can do is to enforce too many rules during play. The result will be your child feeling restricted and controlled, which discourages them from doing anything extraordinary. Instead, allow your child to make mistakes and guide them to seeing the value in making mistakes. Parents focus too much on correcting their children's behaviour that they fail to realise that they're cultivating a negative perspective in the child simultaneously.

Another common parental blunder when fostering creativity in children is doing routine activities. This means that your child plays with the same toys and does the same things repeatedly. You should challenge the boundaries of your child by immersing him in different environments. This allows him or her to absorb different perspectives, different ideas, and different learning experiences. So if you find yourself taking your child to the beach for the third time this month, discuss a potential activity that your child would like to do. Including children in planning processes engages them in discussion, which provides them with more space to be creative.

Fostering creativity in a child is definitely possible, regardless of the child's intelligence. There are no bad children; but only bad parents. So don't make the same parental mistakes that everyone else makes, and start developing your child's creativity!

A review of ways to stop shortsightedness from increasing
(from http://eyesurgerysingapore.blogspot.sg/ ... dness.html)

Trying to stop myopia progression is like deciding to go on a diet. Seriously. I'll get to that eventually but before we get too philosophical, let's take a step back.

Currently, more than 50% of twelve year olds in Singapore need to wear glasses because of myopia. And by the time the boys enter the army at 18 years of age, it will have increased to 80%. Unfortunately, myopia is a problem that continues to worsen as children grow up, usually stabilizing by the late teenage years. By this time, it is not uncommon to see patients with myopia of -6D and above. High myopia of course, can give rise to other problems such as an increased risk of retinal detachments and an earlier onset of cataracts.

Myopia or shortsightedness arises because of an imbalance between the focusing power of the cornea and lens of the eye, versus the length of the eyeball. In the type of myopia that arises in children, it is mainly a problem of the eyeball growing too long, ie axial myopia.

For many decades now, research has been ongoing both to find a cause of this abnormal eyeball growth, as well as to find ways to stop it or at least to slow it down. Because the actual cause and mechanism remains unknown, the methods that have been tried are all based on theories or empirical data. Let's take a look at the things that have been tried.

Things that have been tried and failed
1. Timolol eyedrops to lower eye pressure.
Since eye pressure may potentially stretch an eyeball and make it bigger and longer, people tried to see if lowering the eye pressure could stop the eyeball from enlarging. Unfortunately Timolol eyedrops did not work. However, it remains to be seen whether more powerful pressure lowering medications like bimatoprost may have an effect.

Things that may work (either the evidence or effect is weak)
1. Glasses which reduce peripheral hyperopic defocus (Myovision by Zeiss)
These glasses appeared to have an effect in younger children who had myopic parents. Why it would only work in this subgroup of people is unknown but could reflect a weak effect or a chance finding.
Sankaridurg P, Donovan L, Varnas S, et al. Spectacle lenses designed to reduce progression of myopia: 12-month results. Optom Vis Sci 2010; 87: 631–41.

2. Rigid gas permeable (RGP) contact lenses
At the age of about 11 I was introduced to 'hard' or RGP contact lenses in the hope that it could slow down the rate of increase of my myopia. In fact in my case, it wasn't that successful in this regard. A well conducted trial showed that RGP lenses do not slow down the growth of the eyeball, but may have an effect by reducing the steepening of the cornea.# This may be only a temporary effect from the pressure of the lens on the eyeball.
#Walline et al. A randomized trial of the effects of rigid contact lenses on myopia progression. Arch Ophthalmol. 2004 Dec;122(12):1760-6.

3.Orthokeratology
Orthokeratology (OK or Corneal Refractive Therapy/CRT) takes the concept of corneal flattening using pressure from a lens one step further. In this method, RGP lenses of a special shape are worn to sleep. The lenses press on the patient's cornea during sleep, so that during the day the lens can be removed, and the cornea retains the ideal shape which corrects the long/shortsightedness and astigmatism. After a few days of not wearing the lens to sleep, this effect is lost, so the power lowering effect is temporary.

But does it stop myopia from increasing?


Walline JJ, Jones LA, Sinnott LT. Corneal reshaping and myopia progression. Br J Ophthalmol. 2009 Sep;93(9):1181-5.

The above study showed that yes, it seemed that orthokeratology can slow down the growth of the eyeball compared with soft contact lenses. This effect is not as strong as 1% atropine (0.25mm elongation with OK versus -0.02+/-0.35 mm with atropine at 2 years).

In other words, OK lenses had an effect somewhere between soft contact lenses and 1% atropine, but without the side effects of the atropine. Do consider though, that wearing contact lenses to sleep is generally felt to increase the risk of eye infections.

Things that work (with strong evidence and strong effect)
1. Atropine
The idea of using atropine came about because of its well known ability to relax the ciliary muscles in the eye (which are used for near focusing). Since as the theory goes, too much near work is related to shortsightedness, and near work results in prolonged contraction of this muscle, would relaxing the muscle have an effect on myopia progression? The results of well conducted studies show that yes, indeed atropine has a powerful effect on slowing or stopping the worsening of myopia.

There are two concentrations in common usage: 1% and 0.01%. The 1% concentration is very effective but has side effects of causing sensitivity to bright lights and temporary inability to focus for near. These are reduced by using special progressive glasses that turn dark in bright light. With the 0.01% concentration, there are no side effects but the effects of slowing down myopia are not as pronounced. Which specific medicine is used depends on the degree of shortsightedness, how fast it is progressing and the child's tolerance to the side effects of the stronger concentration. Read more about this at my other post on atropine and myopia.

2. Outdoor time
2 generations ago, it was much less common to see a shortsighted person in Singapore, despite people having essentially the same set of genes. Other things have changed, notably our environment and activities.

Increasingly, evidence points to the importance of outdoor activities in reducing the rates of myopia and its progression.# What is it about being outdoors that slows myopia? Many people think it is because we get to see things far away when we step outdoors, but this effect of distance versus near visual work has been shown to be only a weak one.*
#Rose KA, Morgan IG, Ip J, et al. Outdoor activity reduces the prevalence of myopia in children. Ophthalmology 2008; 115: 1279–85.
*Mutti DO, Mitchell GL, Moeschberger ML, Jones LA, Zadnik K. Parental myopia, near work, school achievement, and children’s refractive error. Invest Ophthalmol Vis Sci 2002; 43: 3633–40.

Outdoor activities against myopia
In fact, it is likely to be due to the difference in amount of light being seen by the eye, when comparing being indoors versus outdoors. When we step outdoors, even at 5 or 6pm in the evening, we are typically being exposed to much more light than we get even with the brightest lamps indoors. It has been shown that bright light leads to the release of more retinal dopamine, a chemical which may play a role in controlling eye growth. It is intriguing that using a chemical to block dopamine in animals can also block the protective effect of bright light.#
#Ashby RS, Schaeff el F. The eff ect of bright light on lens compensation in chicks. Invest Ophthalmol Vis Sci 2010; 51: 5247–53.

SO.....
It is said that in losing weight, '..., you must accept that this is your new lifestyle of eating healthy and being physically active...' http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/10-d ... ss-success

And equally, in trying to control myopia, the patient must accept a new lifestyle of regular outdoor activity (in sunlight) and being more active. At least 1-2 hours everyday. As a follow on from that, it's also important to ensure that when indoors/doing near work, that the child has a brightly illuminated environment. It does not matter what type of light it is (eg sunlight by the window, fluorescent, LED etc), as long as it is bright. Failing which, the most effective treatment so far is atropine eyedrops.

No, wait..... Actually it's easier to control myopia than to go on diet. If only our waistlines would stabilise after a certain age (like myopia), so that we don't have to worry about it any more after that!