yah hor! I better tell my sons to stay far far from these potential MILs too!ksi wrote:Only DILs will suffer? Son-ILs won't? If so, you better ensure your son doesn't go anywhere near their dds too!markfch wrote: I know that there're extremely nasty PILs around. How I know? I just imagine some of my belligerent colleagues becoming grannies. And I know for sure that their DILs will suffer in their hands.
$350k for 1 child?
- tree nymph
- KiasuGrandMaster
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Just wondering, what if parents told the child upfront that the money for university/overseas education is a loan, but the child does not repay after graduation? What can the parents do in that case?HyperKiasu wrote: ... even if we can afford for overseas study, we can lend the money to children and be repaid after they graduate.
i believe by doing this they will better know life is not easy (though our parents don't want them to repeat hardship we have gone through) and they can learn to lead an indepent life. this will have long life impact...
DH supported his brother thru uni... but the brother never graduated... and I was so angry about that cos' I honestly believed it was due to his brother spending more time playing computer games or watching soccer. The money oso never returned although he did tell the brother it was a loan... what can you do? Fortunately, the brother is nice in his other ways (hence explains the spoiling/indulgence from DH), and he is having a good career now. Otherwise, we could have requests for more things in future...
My own sister had also asked my mom for help for some things she wanted to buy for her first home. Was supposed to be a loan, but she never returned. My mom kept harping about it, but what else could she do? So, even in the same family, different kid can have different mindset too...
If my PILs stay with us, I'll be in same position as you... except that it would be my maids doing the groceries... lol (so can imagine my when she came to stay with us during my maternity... only adding more work and stress). Not everyone is blessed with PILs or event parents who can help out in taking care of grandchildren.tree nymph wrote: same here. In fact, my MIL can go out for tea, gatherings, and golf almost everyday and is really living it up as a true blue tai tai. While I was pregnant, she also didn't specially boil anything for me to drink or things like that. during my confinement, she does not lift a finger to help out to look after the kids, or go to market to buy fresh ingredients or did anything small thing like what most MIL will do.
For the record, and i can really stand up here and say it out for everyone to see, I have to buy everything in the house, from the toilet paper to replacing the washing machine. Even we i was 39 weeks pregnant, I still have to go to the wet market to get stuff for the dinning table, not to mention buying bags of 10kg of rice and bringing them back from the supermarket. So I drive, but i still need to lift the heavy stuff up and put into the car right. Even the fishmonger in the market told me how come i'm still doing all these stuff, how come my MIL didn't even help out? On the third day after giving birth, I'm back to supermarket and the wet market getting stuff liao!
In my case, I really think that my PIL benefit from us staying with them MORE.
Gals got extremely sensitive satelite dish antennas rotating 360 deg daily so gals can easily detect PILs criticism miles away. Guys antennas are made up of a single wire pointing upwards. Sometimes wire also pointing wrong direction but we just don't bother to fix. So even if PILs are directly scolding SILs, some SILs will still think that it's the other people that are making PILs upset.ksi wrote:Only DILs will suffer? Son-ILs won't? If so, you better ensure your son doesn't go anywhere near their dds too!markfch wrote: I know that there're extremely nasty PILs around. How I know? I just imagine some of my belligerent colleagues becoming grannies. And I know for sure that their DILs will suffer in their hands.
Me? I'm keeping my single wire antenna, thank you
- tree nymph
- KiasuGrandMaster
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I stayed in the hospital for 5 weeks b4 my 1st son was born. Am keeping the receipt for him to see when he grow up. Of cos not for him to pay me back but for him to know how much I "suffered" when having him....tree nymph wrote:ok, i owed up. I kept the receipt from Guardian when I bought the test kit and thereafter, ALL the receipts from every single visits till i gave birth at the hospital and all the medical receipts and everything else. I plan to ask my kids to pay hb and me back AS SOON AS they start to work. Oh, you have to include compounded interest too and maybe I should also throw in the opportunity cost?? I wonder if each of my kids will be able to repay me every single cent in my remaining years....kaitlynangelica wrote:
Buds and Tam,
I beg to differ. Yes I agree that children should never take anything for granted. I keep reminding my daughter that she is very very fortunate unlike the children in our maid's country who mostly don't have an opportunity for a good education. I teach her kindness through other methods like encouraging her to give away her old things to our maid or to share her things with others. I point out the less fortunate to her like the old man who has to sell tissue on the roadside. My aim is just to pass on the correct values to her, and not to reap something in return. Whatever is within our means, we will give to her.
I disagree with keeping all the recipts just to show them in future. From the day me and dh decided to have dd, we agreed that we will give her unconditional love without being calculative.
How would you feel if your parents fished out all the receipts or kept track of all the expenses that they had incurred over raising us? I would be hurt and disgusted.
Likewise, I just think that if we are calculative with them, they will be calculative with us in the future.
if I were to expect to take back anything from them, i might as well don't have kids and just park my money in the bank with a very low interest rate and go for tour/trips every other month!
Not one of our postings said that we will be using that receipts and ask money back from our kids. We are discussing methods to impart values that we treasure most to our kids. I really don't think any one of us here are using this as a method to get back their money spent on the kids. Anyway, I don't think the kids will ever be able to pay us back on what we have put in on them. Same for what our parents had done for us!
Last edited by shine_fs on Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:22 am, edited 1 time in total.