To Work Or Not To Work

With rising costs and increased learning needs, financing our children's education is no longer a simple walk in the park. Discuss with other parents about how they are managing their finances to cope with their expenses.
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Do you plan to return to work?

Poll ended at Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:28 am

Yes
5
63%
No
3
38%
 
Total votes: 8

slmkhoo
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by slmkhoo » Tue Feb 25, 2020 12:40 pm

MrsKiasu wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:31 am
6thisnthat9 wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:21 am
Another qn, is it true that mum's presence at home is also critical for teenage years?
For me, till now (still not at that crucial age now)..having me with them just feel more 'fangxin'..know they alright etc..acad wise I m almost redundant.
It's crucial to develop good habits and values in them before they reach their teens. Once they are in their teens, they will be working out how those values apply in their lives and experience. Usually, at that age, they are less "obedient" and need to be guided with a lighter hand as they grow up, or they will become rebellious. If their values are poor and the parents need to be strong and firm, and the teens are not "in tune" with their parents or accustomed to being guided by parents, then there will be trouble. It's harder to correct such things when they are teens.

6thisnthat9
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by 6thisnthat9 » Fri Feb 28, 2020 9:02 am

slmkhoo wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 12:40 pm
MrsKiasu wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:31 am
6thisnthat9 wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:21 am
Another qn, is it true that mum's presence at home is also critical for teenage years?
For me, till now (still not at that crucial age now)..having me with them just feel more 'fangxin'..know they alright etc..acad wise I m almost redundant.
It's crucial to develop good habits and values in them before they reach their teens. Once they are in their teens, they will be working out how those values apply in their lives and experience. Usually, at that age, they are less "obedient" and need to be guided with a lighter hand as they grow up, or they will become rebellious. If their values are poor and the parents need to be strong and firm, and the teens are not "in tune" with their parents or accustomed to being guided by parents, then there will be trouble. It's harder to correct such things when they are teens.
Thanks for sharing. Hard to imagine now how my kids will turn out. Things can be difficult at times w kids even tho they are not teens yet.

I know of teen who went haywire, mum first thought because she was fulltime stay at home too meddling, so went out to work part time, then things still went worse after. Teenage years are very intricate
Last edited by 6thisnthat9 on Fri Feb 28, 2020 9:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

6thisnthat9
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by 6thisnthat9 » Fri Feb 28, 2020 9:16 am

slmkhoo wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 12:17 pm
6thisnthat9 wrote:
Tue Feb 25, 2020 11:21 am
Another qn, is it true that mum's presence at home is also critical for teenage years?
I think that parental presence and influence is most important in the preschool years, and very important in the pr school years. If that foundation has been built well, then parental presence in the teen years, while important, doesn't have to be all day. In any case, most teens spend so much time in school that they aren't at home except for a few hours in the evenings. More important in the teen years is the parents' willingness to stop what they are doing and listen to them, take an interest in what they do (not just schoolwork), be both friend and guide, and gradually loosen the reins. That's my belief, anyway.
Thanks for sharing =)
Heard something similar from a P at parents talk in school. Pre school years will shape pri sch years, pri sch years will shape teenage years. In terms of how a child develop skills to handle problems, not so much in terms of only studies.
So a child needs to feel strong sense of self worth in pri sch years through mum beside them first, before they have the strong footings to withstand what will come at them in teenage years.

There is no sure win formula. How do we know when to let go

Funz
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by Funz » Fri Feb 28, 2020 9:38 am

Pro SAHP will say that it is crucial to have a SAHP at every stage of the kids' life up until they get married and have their own kids, cos gotta stay at home to look after their kids for them. :razz:

I am of the same mind as slmkhoo. The important stage is when they are young and more easily moulded. Values, morals, etc should be instilled before their tweens. When they are in tweens and teens that is when we start letting go and allow what have been instilled in them to navigate them through their ups and downs.

Funz
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by Funz » Fri Feb 28, 2020 9:42 am

Not just light on the phone is useful. The camera is also very useful, snap and expand to read. :laugh:

Ok presbyopia has creeped up on me as well. But I can still function without reading glasses for now.


zac's mum
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by zac's mum » Fri Feb 28, 2020 10:46 am

My parenting philosophy is like this: whoever the child spend the *majority* of their time with, has the *most* capacity to influence your child. For better or for worse. Be it a parent/maid/grandparent/childcare centre teachers and classmates. That’s what I have observed over 10 years or so of parenting.

In the younger years, when the kids spend more time at home after school (if you have that luxury), you can take the chance to build the roots of the tree/foundation of the building or whatever analogy you prefer. The time and love invested is not a waste at all.

In the later years, when they are teenagers and will be spending the bulk of their time out of the home, it’s time to hope that the foundation of values will hold strong amidst the gusty winds or whatever storms are thrown at them.

If not much foundation, it’s very easy for the whole structure to crumble.

brues
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by brues » Sun Mar 01, 2020 12:29 am

zac's mum wrote:
Fri Feb 28, 2020 10:46 am
My parenting philosophy is like this: whoever the child spend the *majority* of their time with, has the *most* capacity to influence your child. For better or for worse. Be it a parent/maid/grandparent/childcare centre teachers and classmates. That’s what I have observed over 10 years or so of parenting.

In the younger years, when the kids spend more time at home after school (if you have that luxury), you can take the chance to build the roots of the tree/foundation of the building or whatever analogy you prefer. The time and love invested is not a waste at all.

In the later years, when they are teenagers and will be spending the bulk of their time out of the home, it’s time to hope that the foundation of values will hold strong amidst the gusty winds or whatever storms are thrown at them.

If not much foundation, it’s very easy for the whole structure to crumble.
Thank you for sharing with us your parental philosophy. I agree to this. To add, the more you spend time with your kids, the more he/ she is open to you.

Vince19
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by Vince19 » Thu Mar 12, 2020 4:33 pm

To Work or Not to Work?: 6 Dilemmas and Solutions
Whether you choose to work full time, part time, or not at all, you need to find a way to make peace with your decision. This guide will help you through the process.

https://www.parents.com/parenting/work/ ... t-to-work/

EarthQuek
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by EarthQuek » Fri Mar 13, 2020 8:39 am

Vince19 wrote:
Thu Mar 12, 2020 4:33 pm
To Work or Not to Work?: 6 Dilemmas and Solutions
Whether you choose to work full time, part time, or not at all, you need to find a way to make peace with your decision. This guide will help you through the process.

https://www.parents.com/parenting/work/ ... t-to-work/
"And though you may be delighted with the fact that you're caring for your baby 24-7, being a full-time mom -- whose bonus is often a hot shower instead of a paycheck"
:love: :love: :love:

It is so true

EyeLevelSembawang
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Re: To Work Or Not To Work

Post by EyeLevelSembawang » Fri Mar 13, 2020 12:11 pm

Agree about the time invested. To add, the quality of time is also important. Hypothetically, if you spend tons of time with your child, but you have lots of resentment over it, perhaps because you've sacrificed your career, free time, and social life, that's going to be picked up by your child. Children are more perceptive than we give them credit for. This type of full-time parenting might be too intense for you and your child.

As with all things in life, balance is key. Too much time spent hovering over a child and not enough time spent on a parent's own self-care and self-improvement is counterproductive. Yet, too little time spent supporting a child and too much time spent at work is something we, as old folks in our golden years, will regret.

I work now, just enough to keep me sane. Teaching keeps me sane. But I'm a full-time mum. Being a mum will always come first. And that has made me a better teacher.

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