Supporting Children in our golden years

With rising costs and increased learning needs, financing our children's education is no longer a simple walk in the park. Discuss with other parents about how they are managing their finances to cope with their expenses.

Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby Han Seo » Thu May 30, 2013 6:59 pm

Just met up with a friend who got married to an Aussie many years years ago but divorced now with 2 children in the University in Oz. Her 2 kids' education are funded by the state and both kids work part-time for their own pocket money and rental. My friend is now living alone and whatever she earns is for her own upkeep. She does not have to support her two children, neither does her ex.

This is so different in Singapore where parents save up for their children's education; pay for their children's marriage and house, the list goes on. My brother, who does not earn much, still gives his son an allowance even though the boy is already in his 20s and in university (but not working, even during the hols).

A difference in mentality between Asian and Western parents?

Han Seo
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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby slmkhoo » Thu May 30, 2013 7:10 pm

We have told our kids that our responsibility to finance them ends when they complete their basic education (ie. first degree if they can make it, or earlier if they choose to stop or can't qualify to go on). We feel it will focus their minds.

For myself, my parents would have been willing to give me more but my husband and I are stubborn - we chose to finance most of our wedding, and we financed our own house, car etc. I think it was a good way to grow up and learn independence, and I want my kids to experience that too. Of course, if they are truly starving and without a roof over their heads, I will allow them to stay and eat, but that's it!

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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby Coolkidsrock2 » Thu May 30, 2013 7:19 pm

I had told kids that I can only afford their tertiary education locally. If they wish to do it overseas, they will need to get a scholarship.

I hope they can balance their studies adequately so that they can give tuition/teach music to earn some pocket money from JC onwards.

It is important to us that they learn the value of work and money, otherwise they will squander away any inheritance that we may leave them. We had to work really hard to leave them an inheritance so it is important that they can at least keep it for the next generation.

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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby Attolia » Thu May 30, 2013 7:39 pm

I was born in Singapore, but have lived in a western country since I was about 7. Parents are both Singaporean. My siblings and I have had part time jobs working in restaurants, supermarkets, retail etc since we were 15, all the way through university and until we graduated and got proper jobs, so we've always had our own money to spend and save. My parents did give us money occasionally for lunch in high school, but by the time we reached uni, we were using our own money. University - we all took out govt student loans and are in the process of paying them back now through our salary, so parents didnt pay for our tertiary education. We could have moved out during uni and gone flatting, but parents wanted us to live at home and save the money for a home deposit/mortgage, which made sense. Instead, we paid a lesser amount to my parents as board money. And because we've had part time jobs all throughout school, we've always paid for our own entertainment, cars, material goods, even grocery items. Now that we are all grown up (all in our 20s) we don't expect anything from our parents financially, even though we're not married yet. We live under the same roof and mum cooks dinner every night (if we are eating at home), but their money is theirs, and we have our own.

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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby Imp75 » Thu May 30, 2013 7:40 pm

Oh dear I actually told my kids to either get a scholarship or a loan for their tertiary education, daddy and mummy are not gonna sponsor them. If we can do it, why can't they.

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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby SAHM_TAN » Thu May 30, 2013 7:51 pm

Thought there's still the CPF education scheme thingy. Can use that and then pay back later when working.

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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby Harlequin » Thu May 30, 2013 9:04 pm

Coolkidsrock2 wrote:I had told kids that I can only afford their tertiary education locally. If they wish to do it overseas, they will need to get a scholarship.

I hope they can balance their studies adequately so that they can give tuition/teach music to earn some pocket money from JC onwards.

It is important to us that they learn the value of work and money, otherwise they will squander away any inheritance that we may leave them. We had to work really hard to leave them an inheritance so it is important that they can at least keep it for the next generation.


Agree.

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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby Funz » Thu May 30, 2013 9:28 pm

I was just talking to DH the other day and saying that these days we do not see many local teenagers taking on part-time/holiday jobs. Most of the students working part-time are foreigners.

In our days, most of my friends would work part-time on weekends and holidays. The most coveted jobs are in Esprit, Giordano and Tangs. Fast food counters are manned by teenagers, not senior citizens. DH said, correct mah, during those days they were teens, now they are still working in those jobs, that's why you are seeing aunties and uncles at the counters.

DH and I have already put aside enough for the kiddos' tertiary education. If they want an overseas degree, we may loan them the money, if we have the means, if not they will have to find other means.

As for house and wedding and such, sorry, kiddos, you are on your own there. A decent ang bao on your wedding and for your house warming is what you will be getting from us.

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Re: Supporting Children in our golden years

Postby cherrygal » Fri May 31, 2013 12:36 am

No wedding loans (choose luxury hotels at their own risk) but small housing deposit gifts may be given, depending on how generous we feel. May loan them money to start a professional business (eg. veterinary clinic, consultancy etc) if they provide a sound business plan and we are made major shareholders...

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