Feeling sad and depressed

With rising costs and increased learning needs, financing our children's education is no longer a simple walk in the park. Discuss with other parents about how they are managing their finances to cope with their expenses.

Feeling sad and depressed

Postby SweetMummy » Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:04 am

I am a mother of 2 kids age 9 & 4 years old. Recently I am feeling quite depressed over finance matters. I have been working past 26 years but I still got no savings. My husband need to pay his debts monthly so always left with not much money to spend and in the end have to borrow from me but he will return once he got his pay. I myself also don't earn much and my monthly expenses also quite high. So every month after 1 or 2 weeks later after getting our pay, both of us will become very poor. Sometimes I still have to borrow from my sisters. I thought of changing for a much highly paid job but at my age of 43 I am worry. I am becoming more and more tired of this kind of life. I am looking for a home base part time job so that I can earn extra but until now I cant find any. I am very sad as every month I need to settle my bank debts, sisters loan and tuition fee. I don't know what to do in order to make more money and pay up all the loans.

SweetMummy
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby rac555 » Wed Jun 11, 2014 10:46 am

Hello SweetMummy,

I can fully understand how you feel. I was in your situation a few years back... we (me and hubby) were in debt for almost 10 years but we managed to clear it off. It was a 6-figure debt. There were times when we were left with only $1 each in our saving account.... and days when we had to share our meals.

We never borrow from anyone (our parents were not aware), just manage the available $ that we had. But we do take up loan from one bank to pay off the other banks. We have loan accounts with ALL banks in Singapore!! This is not a wise choice as we were paying interests and interests. I took up tuition on top of my day job to supplement our income even when I was heavily pregnant with 1st child. I only stopped tuition when my 2nd child was born.

What we did was I took over full control of our family finances and income. I kept a record of all our income and expenses in an excel file - a clearer view of what can be eliminated (dun need to spend). We can't afford anything else other than daily meals, no new clothes and shoes. All our clothes/shoes are wore till torn before we bought new one to replace. No branded goods. My hubby still need to support his parents (that time, we only gave his parents $100 each but I stopped giving my parents for about 1-2 years). We feel bad but now with the debt gone, we give them much more now.

The sacrifices we made are worth it cos we managed to clear off all debt (except for housing) within 10 years.

I am not sure how to help... perhaps you need to re-look at your family monthly expenses.....

rac555
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby ammonite » Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:12 am

SweetMummy wrote: I myself also don't earn much and my monthly expenses also quite high. So every month after 1 or 2 weeks later after getting our pay, both of us will become very poor. Sometimes I still have to borrow from my sisters. I thought of changing for a much highly paid job but at my age of 43 I am worry. I am becoming more and more tired of this kind of life. I am looking for a home base part time job so that I can earn extra but until now I cant find any. I am very sad as every month I need to settle my bank debts, sisters loan and tuition fee. I don't know what to do in order to make more money and pay up all the loans.


Agree with rac555 that you will need to relook your monthly outlays. It is hard to gauge without knowing your spending pattern, lifestyle and monthly income. Even things like bringing your own water along instead of buying drinks outside can make a difference when done on a daily basis. If it is just your own money, you can make a difference quite easily with self-discipline and some sacrifices. If it is also your husband's money issues, he will have to be on board for this to work.

ammonite
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby slmkhoo » Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:30 pm

I believe that there are credit counsellors who may be able to advise you how to trim your expenses. Maybe someone else here can provide some contacts?

slmkhoo
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby ptb7476 » Wed Jun 11, 2014 2:09 pm

http://www.sgdebtbuster.com/counselling

it really boils down to how you manage your expense... you really need to find out which of your expenses are needs and luxury / wants

ptb7476
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby try » Wed Jun 11, 2014 3:01 pm

Talk to your child's school counsellor. First she can help highlight to the school that you are financially strained and get the teachers more actively involved with your child so that you don't have to get external tuition help, thus the money saved from tuition can be used for your daily needs.

Secondly, when the school gets to know about your financial situation, the teachers will not inadvertently give your child the stress of donating money if the school is having fund-raising. My child faced some discrimination from a particular teacher who used a very condescending tone on her when she did not donate many years ago and the emotional impact can be very longlasting.

Thirdly, she should know where to direct you to the appropriate channels to help you manage your debts.

try
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby ngl2010 » Wed Jun 11, 2014 3:15 pm

Hi SweetMummy. There are free tuition. Just google Free Tuition Singapore and you will see several organisations offering free tuition.

ngl2010
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby Happystar328 » Wed Jun 11, 2014 3:36 pm


Happystar328
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby ngl2010 » Wed Jun 11, 2014 3:49 pm

How about renting out 1 of your bedrooms? Or, maybe rent out your whole house and stay with your parents or parents-in-law for 2-3 years so your husband can reduce his debt faster? I am assuming that currently you are staying in your own house. I know people that did those.

ngl2010
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Re: Feeling sad and depressed

Postby SweetMummy » Thu Jun 12, 2014 8:43 am

Thank you for all your replies. Actually I had already reviewed my monthly expenses and I find that there are nothing can be eliminated. I need to pay for my minimum credit cards bills, my kids and my own insurance, share for maid's salary for my mum as we all eat at her house and she look after all my kids and my nieces. My mum's allowances and also need to help pay my brothers loan which he had use my name to apply for the credit cards. He don't have any stable jobs so I got no choice have to pay for him or else the bank will keep calling to me. So basically every month I don't have enough cash to go shopping. I don't know there are free tutitions available. I shall take a look at the website provided. We are currently staying on our own and we cant stay with my mum as she is staying with my sister. We also thought of renting out 1 of our room but my father in law as and when will come back and stay so we dare not rent out. We had been trying to sell our house for the past few months but property market now is not too good. Maybe the first thing I should lookout for the free tuition and slowly cut down on the expenses.

SweetMummy
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