KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

hi there,

My eldest has just entered the work force and I have entered another parenting phase. I would like to brainstorm ideas or seek advice from parents who are in similar position as me with regards to money matters with our "young working adult" kids.

thank you in advance

flametree

Mine are not there yet as they are still 2 yrs to graduation, but we have thought about it a bit. I guess in terms of money, it would be good to get them to contribute some money each month towards household expenses. Some of my friends insist on this not because they need it, but because it is a sort of enforced savings for their kids - they intend to "return" it when the child decides to get married, buy a flat etc. (But it may be a good idea not to tell the kids this at this point.) It also gives the young person an idea of how much it costs to just live - it can be a shock to them when they finally live alone how things like toilet paper and laundry detergent can eat away your money!

Besides that, it may be a good thing to get them to start putting some money aside in non-risky investments, buy some life/health insurance, and just ordinary savings (for holidays, gifts, flat, wedding etc). My husband is already thinking about these things for our girls (I'm not very clued in about these things). He's already got them to open investment accounts with an investment firm and they put in some money when they get hongbao etc, but we will encourage them to do it more regularly once they get regular pay.

All this means that they will have quite little disposable income! This is not a bad thing as it will prevent them from developing high-spending habits which a lot of young adults living at home do.

Hi slmkhoo,

Thks for responding. I’m very fortunate to be in similar position as your friend and coincidentally I intend to do exactly the same as what your friends r doing.

Besides ‘contributing’ to the household expenses, for his and her (I hv 2 kids who just graduated this month) personal expenses , such as toiletries, petrol n cash card TOP up (they borrow my car almost every week) etc etc, I’ve been wondering should I be ‘calculative’ with them? I hv also thought abt annual family holidays, should we still be paying for them ? Any opinions? Thks!

flametree wrote: ↑

Sat Jul 13, 2019 11:18 am

Hi slmkhoo,

Thks for responding. I’m very fortunate to be in similar position as your friend and coincidentally I intend to do exactly the same as what your friends r doing.

Besides ‘contributing’ to the household expenses, for his and her (I hv 2 kids who just graduated this month) personal expenses , such as toiletries, petrol n cash card TOP up (they borrow my car almost every week) etc etc, I’ve been wondering should I be ‘calculative’ with them? I hv also thought abt annual family holidays, should we still be paying for them ? Any opinions? Thks!

Personally, I think that it's good to establish the basic understanding that they are responsible for everything that is "theirs", including holidays, gadgets, meals etc. But that doesn't mean that parents can't be generous on occasion. So for family holidays, if it's really quite a strain for them, parents can pay the airfare or some specified chunk of it as a gift. I think it's not a good idea to underwrite expensive things completely as they will not think carefully about whether it's necessary, or take it for granted.

Thks for brilliant idea! Now I hv a basic ‘guideline’ n clearer idea that as Long as its personal expenses, it should be from their own pocket (unless it’s a gift fr ya for special occasions). Will hv a family meeting to make it all clear to them soon. Appreciate your sharing! Thk u once again

Hi czeec80,

My guideline now will be ‘as long as it’s personal item’ young working adult will be footing the bill. Example IT gadgets, contact lens, clothings, bags, shoes etc. But items like common use toiletries ( I still got another 2 younger kids at home) then they no need pay for them. My husband and I still at the ‘exploring state’. We are still thinking hard abt how to ‘calculate’ petrol usage and cash card decduction when working kids use my car for their own outings. Also thinking hard abt their insurance policies that we took up for them since birth..
Please feel free to share.

For the use of the car, the most accurate is to have them record the mileage and cash card expenses (like for claiming from employer), but it's troublesome. Or just do an estimated average and charge a set sum every month. It really depends on whether your kids are the kind to drive even more when their contribution is not usage-based. If they are generally restrained, an average per month is simpler. The aim is for them to realise that driving a car incurs expenses, not that you really want to get every cent back from them. For insurance, you may want to see how much their starting pay is, and whether they can afford it. If it's a lot and their starting pay is low, you could ask them to pay 50% for the first year, then increase to 75% then 100% over the next 2-3 years.

Hi slmkhoo,

Thanks for sharing. I’m more inclined to do the estimated average n charge a set sum every month. I probably will ask them to note the mileage used for one month trial n then determine the amt they shd contribute.
As for insurance, we are thinking of letting them pay for the coverage type of policies eg medical insurance, personal accident policies etc after one year working. For the rest of policies with cash values, we probably will continue paying them ourselves till we deem it’s time to pass the cash value policies to the kids. Thoughts?

That one, I've no opinion! I don't deal with such financial stuff, and my kids don't have any policies at the moment. We have not bought any for them. My husband plans to advise them to buy some once they start work, so I guess they'll be paying!

I have long been engaged in reselling things and my son has long seen how I do my job and he also wanted to earn money this way. I believe that this shows his growing up, as he already wants to earn money himself. I started to explain everything to him, at first he chose a product that would be resold, it was sneakers, because he knew what modern youth wants. Then he chose apps to sell stuff and his choice fell on amazon and ebay. At first, he had almost no orders, but I helped him and supported him, and soon everything worked out for him. Now it's been a year since he's been doing this and he's already accumulated almost the full amount of tuition.