How 2 console your kid if he din get in his 1st choice sch?

Unlike entry to Primary Schools, admission into Secondary Schools is based on meritocracy. PSLE results are used as key admission criteria. Discuss everything related to PSLE and selection of Secondary Schools here.

Re: How 2 console your kid if he din get in his 1st choice s

Postby jedamum » Sun Nov 28, 2010 10:03 pm

ManU123 wrote:How do you advise/console your child if he/she did not get into his first-choice school?
He/she must have studied hard for the past 1 year, foregoing a lot of play time.
If he/she did not get into the first-choice school that he/she has aimed for all along, how do you advise/console him?
I knew of a friend last time who was very devastated and it has a major impact on him after that. He used to be loud and cheerful, but later became more reserved and less confident.

does he has any other friends going to his second choice school?
one lesson for all of us parents to learn is that sometimes, setting a specific target is not a good thing after all.
i learnt it the hard way last year when my boy thought that he would be streamed to the best P2 class. he put in a lot of effort in his studies and i kept his spirits up by asking him to target to get into that class. then came end of the year when the new principal scrapped the P2 streaming system. his face 'colour' changed immediately and he told me that all his efforts had been gone to waste. it was an eye-opener for me. my experience is only a mini scale as compared to yours. have a good talk with your kid. assess and focus on the good points of the second best school. it will be good if some of his friends will be going there with him as well or that the second choice sch offers CCAs that interests him.
all the best.

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Re: How 2 console your kid if he din get in his 1st choice s

Postby ycpang » Tue Nov 30, 2010 5:55 pm

ManU123 wrote:How do you advise/console your child if he/she did not get into his first-choice school?
He/she must have studied hard for the past 1 year, foregoing a lot of play time.
If he/she did not get into the first-choice school that he/she has aimed for all along, how do you advise/console him?
I knew of a friend last time who was very devastated and it has a major impact on him after that. He used to be loud and cheerful, but later became more reserved and less confident.


I understand your concern as I was in same situation before. I think it will help if you mentally prepare your kid for the worst case. Last year I told my DS to be ready for his 4th choice school, which was his saftey net. In the end he got his first choice.

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Postby hquek » Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:05 pm

My personal experience. I was a high achiever in my no-name pri school and teachers had high expectations of me. In P6, dunno what got into me. Rather than study for PSLE, I spent a lot of time on ECA and doing dunno what. In fact, I only studied the night before. No surprises that my results were considered disastrous.

In time to come, I view this as a passage and a rite. Life is too short to mull over what if I don't get my first choice. In fact, I was pretty grateful for the results I had got back then. Becos it opened my eyes that I should have worked harder. Becos it gave me the opportunity to know friends who I still keep in touch with today - if my results were better, I would have been thrown in an entirely different environment and be another different person altogether.

The end of the matter is this. What matters is that one has tried his best. When that happens, I leave it to the One who is greater than all. Take heart that life is not just about psle or any one single exam.

In this case, if the child doesn't get into the first choice school, best is to accept and move on. The past has happened, what matters is working on and moving on to tomorrow!

my best wishes to the boy in question!

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Re: How 2 console your kid if he din get in his 1st choice s

Postby desichan352 » Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:11 pm

ManU123 wrote:How do you advise/console your child if he/she did not get into his first-choice school?
He/she must have studied hard for the past 1 year, foregoing a lot of play time.
If he/she did not get into the first-choice school that he/she has aimed for all along, how do you advise/console him?
I knew of a friend last time who was very devastated and it has a major impact on him after that. He used to be loud and cheerful, but later became more reserved and less confident.



Well, I think you could tell him that as long as he is willing to continue working hard, he would do well in whatever school he goes to and that if he were to get into a school not as good, he would probably be one of the good students and might be given more opportunities. Tell him that his effort is not wasted as he have learned a lot. Good luck to you and your child! I'm sure he will be happy studying in his second-choice school too :D

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Postby lizawa » Tue Nov 30, 2010 8:25 pm

When we make the school choices together with our child, i think we need to come to a common understanding with them that all these 6 choices are the best choices that we can make based on the child's result. If you have selected your first choice with a historical COP higher than your T-score, the child needs to know in advance that there is a possibility that he may not be able to get in his first choice. This will help to reduce the disappointment, if it really happens to be the case.

On the other hand, if it is expected for him to get his first choice but he didn't get it, then, focus on the good points of the school he is posted to. I will tell my child, there will be some way for you to shine wherever you go, so accept it graciously and do your best in the school.

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