KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

Posting on behalf of my brother who is at his wits end....

My nephew started his new Sec 1 at a SAP school but after 3 weeks, he told his parents that he wants to withdraw and do home-schooling after finding out only first 6 years (P1-6) are compulsory education.

His parents of course refused and he threatened to jump off MRT tracks. My nephew is very quiet, reserved yet highly intelligent boy. He had received 3 years of counselling at school and IMH where the docs told my brother he has NO mental illness, no autism of any kind just behavioural problems.

My nephew also refused to enrol in private schools. He simply hate interactions with others (like teachers, classmates). He is highly emotional and sensitive to others comments. One of his teachers simply ask him for an answer in class and he got pissed off. His current school principle told my brother it would be wasted if my nephew drop out of school as his PSLE results were very good. Prinicple did not encourage deferrment as well. If he minimize contact with outside world, he would become even more antisocial in his teenage years...

Any parents here also do home-schooling for your kids ?
How do you do it?
Any providers who specializes in IT yet offer a formal secondary education.

Sorry I don't know how to advise. But I feel it is not a good idea to let him home school and it will only worsen his "anti social" skill. In future how is he going out to work?

Have your brother speak to the teacher or counselor in school? Maybe they can help him by speaking to him?

Maybe your nephew is having difficult time to adapt in a new environment. Ask him to try slowly, at the moment, is it possible to ask the teacher to leave him alone first without asking him to attempt question or speak up until he is comfortable with the environment?

he threatened to jump off MRT tracks

This is scary, don't take it lightly.

Not that I have ever home schooled but my parents had friends of theirs whose kids were the same age as my brother and I.. infact they had 4 kids. They did decide to homeschool them, and none of the children attended any formal classes prior to university. They passed their O and A levels with flying colours. At university their first year's results were absolutely crap but once they got the hang of it both of them finished with fairly good marks, (the other two are much younger so I don't really know how they did) but kid 1 barrister (lawyer in the high court) kid 2 doctor.
Not too shabby for homeschooling... I think if its the kids choosing.. and he has gone as far as finding out if there is any other way out of school rather than having to attend.

Also he is not saying he wants to stop learning.. he is saying he wants to stop going to school.. to me its completely different.. Some kids thrive in a social environment others prefer their own company. it makes no sense to me to force someone to be miserable for the next 5 years who otherwise could become brilliant on his own.

I would make a contract with him that he has to sit for the formal exams if anytime he fails he is back at school.. at most you will lose one year.. worth it in my opinion. But if he will study than you might even get next Steve Jobs in your brother's house..

I say let him try..

Also.. and I don't know the details but there are several open university programs (UK & Australia) as well as Poly (TAFE) and their is a distance learning high school for Farmers in remote properties in Australia that he could "attend" Radio school or something.. like that.. he can do many courses as well on top of or in addition to his current home schooling which will give him additional marks / points when he is applying to universities.. esp. if its a foreign uni..

Littlefly wrote:Posting on behalf of my brother who is at his wits end....

My nephew started his new Sec 1 at a SAP school but after 3 weeks, he told his parents that he wants to withdraw and do home-schooling after finding out only first 6 years (P1-6) are compulsory education.

His parents of course refused and he threatened to jump off MRT tracks. My nephew is very quiet, reserved yet highly intelligent boy. He had received 3 years of counselling at school and IMH where the docs told my brother he has NO mental illness, no autism of any kind just behavioural problems.

My nephew also refused to enrol in private schools. He simply hate interactions with others (like teachers, classmates). He is highly emotional and sensitive to others comments. One of his teachers simply ask him for an answer in class and he got pissed off. His current school principle told my brother it would be wasted if my nephew drop out of school as his PSLE results were very good. Prinicple did not encourage deferrment as well. If he minimize contact with outside world, he would become even more antisocial in his teenage years...

Any parents here also do home-schooling for your kids ?
How do you do it?
Any providers who specializes in IT yet offer a formal secondary education.

Think what needs to be treated is the root - his behavioural problem. What is his family situation like? How is the relationship between your brother and his wife? Are both parents working extremely long hours?

This could be a cry for badly-needed attention.

Changing his school or mode of schooling only addresses the symptoms.

Littlefly wrote:Posting on behalf of my brother who is at his wits end....

My nephew started his new Sec 1 at a SAP school but after 3 weeks, he told his parents that he wants to withdraw and do home-schooling after finding out only first 6 years (P1-6) are compulsory education.

His parents of course refused and he threatened to jump off MRT tracks. My nephew is very quiet, reserved yet highly intelligent boy. He had received 3 years of counselling at school and IMH where the docs told my brother he has NO mental illness, no autism of any kind just behavioural problems.

My nephew also refused to enrol in private schools. He simply hate interactions with others (like teachers, classmates). He is highly emotional and sensitive to others comments. One of his teachers simply ask him for an answer in class and he got pissed off. His current school principle told my brother it would be wasted if my nephew drop out of school as his PSLE results were very good. Prinicple did not encourage deferrment as well. If he minimize contact with outside world, he would become even more antisocial in his teenage years...

Any parents here also do home-schooling for your kids ?
How do you do it?
Any providers who specializes in IT yet offer a formal secondary education.

Your nephew must be a brilliant kid.At his age,he could find out only first 6 years (P1-6) are compulsory education.Perhaps,he can change school,SAP sch may not be suitable for him?I think home schooling is not a bad idea too.

Go to this thread and post.
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... =1&t=31496
22ppaammm in the best position to advise you.

Thanks for all you replies! Latest update from my brother that my nephew refused to even see or talk to the principal. He has decided to ‘escape’ from the school system.

Okoshaba, yes. He told my brother he didn’t give up learning. He googled and said in US, home-schoolers did better than those who went to public schools. He said the school worksheets can be downloaded from US websites. And he did tell my brother that it is possible to be a CEO without a cert. I told my brother to make a contract but my bro said my nephew don’t accept any terms.

I just wonder how it is possible to home school without a curriculum and guidance from teachers?

Toddles: I have posted in another thread regarding his behavioral problem
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... 5&start=60

Kitty2: My brother wanted him to go neighborhood school but he declined. Basically he hates the school system, mainly having to interact with teachers or school mates. He goes to the extreme in minimalizing contact with others and he has no friends.

Anyone can recommend a good counsellor skilled with managing such children?

(1) Was this child heavily tutored in primary school?
(2) What are the parents' educational qualifications and employment status?
(3) Is affordability an issue?
(4) What are the specific reasons this child hates school (apart from hating social interaction)?
(5) Who is the person this child is closest too, and what is this relationship like?

2ppaamm had an alternative system going that gave her kids high school credits (I think) even as they attended school.

You can't counsel the child alone, I dun think. He evolves in a dynamic web of relationships that need to be understood and addressed. It may not be the child's problem alone... or it may. But we cannot assume that the problem is found in the most obvious place.

Littlefly wrote:Posting on behalf of my brother who is at his wits end....

My nephew started his new Sec 1 at a SAP school but after 3 weeks, he told his parents that he wants to withdraw and do home-schooling after finding out only first 6 years (P1-6) are compulsory education.

His parents of course refused and he threatened to jump off MRT tracks. My nephew is very quiet, reserved yet highly intelligent boy. He had received 3 years of counselling at school and IMH where the docs told my brother he has NO mental illness, no autism of any kind just behavioural problems.

My nephew also refused to enrol in private schools. He simply hate interactions with others (like teachers, classmates). He is highly emotional and sensitive to others comments. One of his teachers simply ask him for an answer in class and he got pissed off. His current school principle told my brother it would be wasted if my nephew drop out of school as his PSLE results were very good. Prinicple did not encourage deferrment as well. If he minimize contact with outside world, he would become even more antisocial in his teenage years...

Any parents here also do home-schooling for your kids ?
How do you do it?
Any providers who specializes in IT yet offer a formal secondary education.

How about International Schools? Perhaps your nephew may like the different system practice over there?

Chenonceau: Thanks! Saw your help to post my thread to seek 2ppamm's help. See my replies below preceded by >>.

Chenonceau wrote:(1) Was this child heavily tutored in primary school?
>>Not at all. In fact, he pride himself as the only kid in the class without having any tuition, besides my brother can't afford it.

(2) What are the parents' educational qualifications and employment status?
>>Diploma holders and mother is SAHM.

(3) Is affordability an issue?
>>They are not from mid-high income families.

(4) What are the specific reasons this child hates school (apart from hating social interaction)?
>>He is afraid of being called out by teacher to answer question in class.

(5) Who is the person this child is closest too, and what is this relationship like?
>>Parents only. No friend. He treats others cordially but orders his parents around like an emperor.

2ppaamm had an alternative system going that gave her kids high school credits (I think) even as they attended school.

You can't counsel the child alone, I dun think. He evolves in a dynamic web of relationships that need to be understood and addressed. It may not be the child's problem alone... or it may. But we cannot assume that the problem is found in the most obvious place.

Yes, I can't counsel this child. He will not listen to me either and will direct his anger at my brother if he found out i knew this much. My hands are also full with 2 young children of my own.