KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

My Phi maid of 5 years:

Breakfast: Bread with jam or butter, sometimes Mac breakfast whenever I bring my kids for a treat.

Lunch: Instant noodles or packed fried vermicilli, noodle, nasi lemak etc from market on alternate days

Dinner: A proper dinner with soup and 3 dishes and she eats whatever we eat

In-between meals: She is free to eat whatever snacks or biscuits etc. we have. Sometimes when we buy 'old chang kee', donuts or whatever snacks, we will always get her share.

* Sometimes, when we are going out without her, I will give her money to buy her own lunch or dinner which is usually 'mix vegetable rice'. Weekends after our marketing, we will buy her fried vermicilli or noodle for her.

1) Recently, we had a conversation and she told me that instant noodles is considered a snack for them. I got a shock cos though we don't eat instant noodles on a daily basis, but it is usually a very convenient meal to cook especially for lunch. Personally, I am fine to eat instant noodle for lunch cos I find it a hassle to cook extensively for lunch. I usually put emphasis for the dinner at night.

2) She dislikes porridge too as it is not a proper meal to them. But we do cook a porridge dish on certain weekdays (porridge with side dishes) and she does eat with us. Recently, I gave her money to buy her own dinner as we were going out. My MIL called to inform that she had cooked porridge for dinner with our share. My Hub informed my maid to pick up the porridge from MIL and bring it home and told her to eat it. While we were having the convo earlier, she told me her displeasure about the dinner issue. I then told her that what sir did was not wrong. Since MIL had cooked dinner, then there was no need for her to buy dinner. She kept quiet.

From that conversation with her, I felt that she was unhappy and she told me that among maids they are always discussing about food and they always feel that they are not being fed well.

In my mind, I was thinking that she should feel lucky that I did not ask her to eat instant noodle everyday. Am I not being good enough or is she not being appreciative? We are not cooking porridge everyday and once a while, we will cook a porridge dish and she is unhappy and shows a black face? We don't cook everyday too. Sometimes when I ask her to cook, she will show a black face.

I cannot help but wonder if she is too pampered? Or am I not treating her nice enough? What do you let your maid eat?

If she wants to choose her own food, she should pay for it. If we have to pay, I feel she should eat whatever we provide (of course it must be substantial).

If you and your family members are eating the same lunch (instant noodles), she should accept it. It should not be a daily affair though because it is unhealthy.

If she's on her own every day, perhaps she could cook more during dinner, and heat the excess for lunch the next day?

We have steamed fish and porridge for lunch quite alot because of the kids. I know my helper is not crazy about them but she eats what everybody's eating. It's too much trouble to be cooking separate meals anyway.

Dun let your maid cook maggi mee. Just let her cook rice. U ration the amt of rice for her to cook. She can use the soup and the ingredients for the noodles as a dish for her rice. I'm assuming that you will add vegetables or egg to your maggi noodles. If you dun add anything, then just give her some veg or an egg. Dun need to hv 3 dishes lah. Maid shld be able to cook for herself. If she wants to be black faced abt cooking her own meals, then let her be....surely she cannot expect the employer to cook for her when the employer is not eating the same food as her.
If your family cook porridge and has cooked her share, then tell her to eat the porridge so as not to waste and tell her that if she is still not full, she can top-up with bread. Frankly, if she dun like porridge, then dun cook her share. Just let her cook her own share of rice. She can go with the dishes for porridge.
This is how we handle the issue of maggi noodles and porridge.
And dun hv to buy snacks for your maid as in-betw meals lah. U are spoiling her and setting her high expectations. I dun even buy mac for my maid when I bring my kids out for a breakfast treat n the maid comes along. She will eat bread at home. If we have extras, then she will take part of the mac meal...like we have extra coffee or hashbrown, then we will give her, but she will never get the full set. Anyway, the maid eats breakfast early 'cos she wakes up early to do housework, different breakfast timing from us.
If your maid wants to show attitude abt food, then just go back to the basics....no extra "snacks" or in-betw meals....we are only responsible for their 3 main meals. There is really no need to give money to maid to pack food fr outside if the family is eating out n not bring maid along, and the maid knows how to cook ie. can handle the stove and electrical appliances at home. U can always give her some rice, some canned food like sardines, baked beans, or some veg n eggs and she can cook her own meals.
Just my 2 cents

how can she feel slighted when you are all eating the same thing?

My helper eats what we eat. If we are eating instant noodles, she will eat that as well. If we are having Mac, she will have a meal of Mac, if we have bird's nest, she gets to eat that too. She has preferences, and she would prefer instant noodles over porridge. Haha. She is free to cook anything she wants for meals that she eats on her own, I do not portion out anything for her consumption. Initially, she does not like porridge, steamed fish and soups. But over the years, she has learned to appreciate these food. She is still partial towards deep fried stuff and processed food though.

The bottom line is that if the maid get to eat whatever you eat, then there is nothing much to complain about. The maid should adapt to the master's eating habit, not the other way round.

Is your maid putting on weight? My maid puts on >10 kg since she started with us 2 years ago. I think she is trying to control her intake too so cannot complain about food what ...

She eats whatever we eat. As for instant noodle, I think she cooks for herself if we are not around. I dont really ask her what she eats when we are out since she is free to cook and eat whatever we have.

Instant noodles and porridge are light meals. The food won't be enough if the maid has to do heavy chores. I feel that the food given should correspond with the amount of work the maid has to do? The more work she has to do, the more she's likely to fill famished if her lunch or dinner is not filling.

I enjoy Maggi Mee too... It's so convenient, but the packet of noodles has shrunk over the years...

Gooby:
You have spoilt your maid already by buying snacks and giving her money to buy dinner when you are out.
She should eat whatever she cooks for your family and cook her own when you are out. If she prefer to cook her own separately, she can do so if it doesn't compromise on her other housework.
Any extras like snacks, macdonals', money to buy dinner are treats and should not be treated like an entitlement by the maid.
Once maids are spoilt, its very hard to go back.

Funz: wah... your maid is very lucky.. get to eat bird's nest!!:P

I try not to spoil my maid, but do get her share of snacks sometimes as it's quite nice to have a little treat apart from the usual food, but she understands it is not an entitlement, and will say thank you.

my 2cents