KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

Hi, just want to know.

R u jealous if your children prefers the maid than you ? How do you cope if this happens ?

Or how do you make sure that your child is not too close with the maid.

Thank you .

My kids are pretty close with my maid and I am alright with that esp she is the main caregiver as I am working and there isnt help from my family & in-laws. I can see that they like her (as compared to my previous maid) and she treats them well.

However on my part, I will make it a point to set aside time for them after my work, eg supervising their homework and reading / play with them every night - bonding time is very important and not to be neglected...
Try not to use fatigue to escape the bonding time because after a while, they may stop asking you and run to the maid.

Point is to spend each and every possible minute with them (esp if you are a FTWM), even for the simplest tasks like changing/bathing/making milk... try to be as hands-on as possible whenever you are home with them so that they realise the maid is not the only person whom they can rely on.

This was something that I struggled with in the early days as all of my children went through stages where they wanted to be carried by the maid rather than me. This was mainly during the time when they were at home with her & my m-i-l all day before they started childcare. My middle one who went to CC the earliest at 18 months was less attached than the others.

The positive way to look at it is that the maid must be doing a good job if your child is close to her. This is a good thing. Ultimately they will always remember who is "mummy" and they will come back to you.

As the PP said, try to spend as much time with them as you can. I am only with them from 7pm until bedtime on weekdays but during that time I give them all my attention even if it's just the little one wanting to sit on my lap and watch TV. If I have things I want to do in the house or work I need to finish I wait until they are in bed.

At weekends, go out as a family without the maid. Yes, you can take her with you sometimes but make it the exception rather than the rule so that they spend more time with you. If you have more than one child try to spend some time one-on-one with each of them. Tough, I know and I struggle with this one but that is when you really have a chance to bond, especially as they get older.