KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

On her off day, my maid usually goes out at about 8 plus to 9 am. Initially, she will come back at 7 pm. However, since this year, she has been coming back past 9 pm, sometimes even at 9:40 pm. At the beginning, she would tell me that its due to long queues at taxi stand or she had to wait a long time for her food. Every time when this happened, I would tell her to manage her time properly as she is supposed to be back by 9 pm. I talked to her nicely and explained to her the rationale why she should be back by 9 pm (so that she could have adequate rest, can prepare for the next day, etc). Every time when I talked to her, she would tell me that she would come back by the designated timing the next time. However, on her next off day, she would continue to come back past 9 pm, although it would be about 9:10 or 9:15. For the past few times, as the soft approach did not seem to work, I have been using the hard approach to tell her off for her lateness and tell her that I would fine her if she continued to not keep to the timing, however, her attitude is "ok, go ahead and fine me". I am very angry with her "bochap" attitude as she is not following house rules set and I find that my authority is being undermined. However, I also don't want to appear as too sticky due to the 10-15 minutes (someone told me to keep my eyes close as its only 10-15 minutes late, she said even in office, there is also some allowance). Can anybody share some experience?

goes out abt 10am after simple chores and back by 6.30pm. the 'curfew' time was given to her the day she arrived in our home. very punctual so far for the last almost 2 years. she comes back by bus

Mine was 6pm and stretches to 7pm. Fortunately it's quite inconsequential what time she comes back as we would pack dinner. But she wakes up early on weekdays 530am (and sleeps about 930pm). I think may be hard to reel in the time if habit has formed. Good luck

also-mummy wrote:On her off day, my maid usually goes out at about 8 plus to 9 am. Initially, she will come back at 7 pm. However, since this year, she has been coming back past 9 pm, sometimes even at 9:40 pm. At the beginning, she would tell me that its due to long queues at taxi stand or she had to wait a long time for her food. Every time when this happened, I would tell her to manage her time properly as she is supposed to be back by 9 pm. I talked to her nicely and explained to her the rationale why she should be back by 9 pm (so that she could have adequate rest, can prepare for the next day, etc). Every time when I talked to her, she would tell me that she would come back by the designated timing the next time. However, on her next off day, she would continue to come back past 9 pm, although it would be about 9:10 or 9:15. For the past few times, as the soft approach did not seem to work, I have been using the hard approach to tell her off for her lateness and tell her that I would fine her if she continued to not keep to the timing, however, her attitude is "ok, go ahead and fine me". I am very angry with her "bochap" attitude as she is not following house rules set and I find that my authority is being undermined. However, I also don't want to appear as too sticky due to the 10-15 minutes (someone told me to keep my eyes close as its only 10-15 minutes late, she said even in office, there is also some allowance). Can anybody share some experience?

Try using a different approach. Ask her to come home by 6pm to cook dinner for the family & compensate her with half a day pay ($10)

Mine supposed to reach home at 8pm but sometime go beyond the timing. She will gave excused here and there, but what can I do. I have learned to close both eyes. We need them more than they need us.

Question is, contractually, if they are entitled for the off day, they can come home before 2359 hrs. On the hand, even if they come home say at 7pm, is she supposed to work for the rest of the night?

isetan wrote:Question is, contractually, if they are entitled for the off day, they can come home before 2359 hrs. On the hand, even if they come home say at 7pm, is she supposed to work for the rest of the night?

Day off means DAY off? Does not include night?
Actually, we're not supposed to ask that they do any work for us on the day off. But if she offers to do so, or does so on her own initiative, it's ok.

Mine came back around 7-7.30pm. If she wants to come back later than that, she will have to call me to inform me or at least an SMS. Failing which, I will scold her. Reason for her is that she has to at least inform me to let me know she is "safe" if she want to come back at a later time. That the minimum requirement.

My maid comes back at 5pm latest 6pm as she claimed that the bus was late and too crowded at Orchard. I told her she should know that and gauge the time properly. I cannot expect the same excuses from her all the time.

However, she still cook dinner on Sunday once she is back. Else, if no need to cook, she will still get something to do. We have to give and take. She was a transfer maid hence I think after being ill-treated by her previous employer (abused her), she appreciates us more. We also increased her pay from $550 to $600 even though she had been with us for only 6 months. We can see that she is hardworking.

Mine goes out around 9am, sometimes later and is supposed to come back by 6pm. If she has a special event or reason then I will extend but that is usually only once every few months. She did go through a stage of coming back later and not informing me but I told her she just needs to SMS so now she is much better.

In your case, why not tell her that if she comes back 30 minutes late then she will go out 30 minutes later the following week?! They need to learn to manage their time - I can't tell my boss I was late because the coffee queue was too long or I had to wait for the train; we have to take that into account.