Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

With most families being dual-income-with-kids, outsourcing home cleaning and home economics to domestic helpers is almost a way of life for Singaporeans. Come in and discuss issues pertaining to maids and home management.

Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby SeanM212 » Thu May 08, 2014 3:10 pm

After her work performance went downhill, caught her with HP, Tablet and discovered she has a boyfriend. She has violated all these rules we stated and she has just been with us for 4+ months. She is a transferred from Phil.

We discovered she has been SMSing her bf till wee hrs in the morning, even during evening cooking time. She has the guts to tell me she is able to SMS and cook at the same time. I will spare you the sms details.

Need help either to find a new maid or part-time cleaner as we intend to send her home asap.


Any advise would be appreciated.

SeanM212
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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby happy to be mum » Thu May 08, 2014 3:33 pm

Hi SeanM212

I think at this age and time, we should open up to our maids using handphone, tablets devices etc, especially if you are getting a Phinoy.

One of my gf who used to be so strict about her maid using handphone, having off days, had broken all her rules now cause after her good maid left her, she is unable to get a maid who will stay with her and she has been changing maids for more than 5 times till she got MOM letter.

As for having boyfriend, it is how much you can trust your maid. I encourage my maid who has been with me for more than 2 years to try to get a boyfriend here as to be fair, I don't want her to be a spinister just because she is working as a maid here and she is no longer that young. If she can get someone of husband material here and can go back to her home country to get married, I will be very happy for her.

Maybe you should think of getting part time help instead of a new maid.

happy to be mum
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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby MizzNAH » Fri May 09, 2014 7:35 am

After having more than 10 Indonesian maids with me, i have learned not to close one eye but both. As long they do the required job i am happy. I have learned that we are dealing with human being, if they cannot change we have to change our mindset.
Maid are easier to tackle 18 years ago when I have my first one. End of the day we are at the losing end, not the maid or the agency. It is getting harder now and I must agree.

MizzNAH
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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby janet88 » Fri May 09, 2014 7:58 am

MizzNAH wrote:After having more than 10 Indonesian maids with me, i have learned not to close one eye but both. As long they do the required job i am happy. I have learned that we are dealing with human being, if they cannot change we have to change our mindset.
Maid are easier to tackle 18 years ago when I have my first one. End of the day we are at the losing end, not the maid or the agency. It is getting harder now and I must agree.


I agree with what you said about closing 2 eyes...that's very true or we will go insane. my first maid was about 11 years ago...she came just before I had my #2...she learnt very fast, willing to listen and didn't talk back. subsequent ones are horrifying. as employers, we will always be on the losing end because we need them and they know it.
maids must have mobile phones, especially Filipinos. but now Indonesians are catching up.

janet88
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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby st2 » Fri May 09, 2014 5:25 pm

I doubt Hong Kong employers will close both eyes. The maids know if they cannot please their employers, they get sent home so they will do their best to learn.

Our situation is when we close both eyes, the maids just do less and less to see how little they can do to get by or else just ask to return to agency and change another employer that is wiling to tolerate them doing the least. That is why we get such lousy maids.

See how we are whipped into submission by the maids to close both eyes...........

Anyways....getting a transfered or ex-sin maid comes with all these HP, off days etc demands and trickery, especially Phi.

Getting a fresh Indo maid with no friends, relatives in Singapore might have less of these problems.

Installing a camera might keep them on their toes.

st2
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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby GiftedGem » Fri May 09, 2014 6:11 pm

Maids esp Filipinos are very smart. Given an inch, they ask for a yard. If you don't provide, they will next ask for transfer. I had a bad experience with Phil and thus, my preference is getting Indo maids.

Phil can create problems if you do not accede to their requests. They know how to run away and seek help from their embassy, insisting for transfer which is in my case. Finally, instead of getting her a transfer as she requested for, we chose to pay her air fare to send her back to Phil.

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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby janet88 » Fri May 09, 2014 9:06 pm

transfer maids usually are problem kids...but horror cannot be compared to those who have worked as maids before...they have a lot of demands and comparisons. i find that with a maid, time passes slower because it is stressful to face her at home and hard to think beyond a week...if she doesn't give me attitude problems or vent tantrums on cutlery, it will be wonderful that week.

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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby matrix0405 » Sat May 10, 2014 9:37 am

st2 wrote:I doubt Hong Kong employers will close both eyes. The maids know if they cannot please their employers, they get sent home so they will do their best to learn.

Our situation is when we close both eyes, the maids just do less and less to see how little they can do to get by or else just ask to return to agency and change another employer that is wiling to tolerate them doing the least. That is why we get such lousy maids.

See how we are whipped into submission by the maids to close both eyes...........

Anyways....getting a transfered or ex-sin maid comes with all these HP, off days etc demands and trickery, especially Phi.

Getting a fresh Indo maid with no friends, relatives in Singapore might have less of these problems.

Installing a camera might keep them on their toes.


Agree with you. If it is last 4 mth and she has tablet, phone and BF, can close one eye. But not in the first 4 mth. For TS case, even with both eyes closed, you can see trouble brewing.

matrix0405
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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby janet88 » Sat May 10, 2014 4:06 pm

If she is left with 4 months, she can have tablet/smartphone/bf, but if she gets pregnant, I will send her off immediately.

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Re: Help! Maid caught with HP, Tablet and boyfriend

Postby trimummy » Sat May 10, 2014 5:44 pm

st2 wrote:I doubt Hong Kong employers will close both eyes. The maids know if they cannot please their employers, they get sent home so they will do their best to learn.

Our situation is when we close both eyes, the maids just do less and less to see how little they can do to get by or else just ask to return to agency and change another employer that is wiling to tolerate them doing the least. That is why we get such lousy maids.

See how we are whipped into submission by the maids to close both eyes...........

Anyways....getting a transfered or ex-sin maid comes with all these HP, off days etc demands and trickery, especially Phi.

Getting a fresh Indo maid with no friends, relatives in Singapore might have less of these problems.

Installing a camera might keep them on their toes.


i agree if we give in too much, they will take for granted. cos my previous maid taught me a hard lesson. i was super lenient with her, allow her to have HP without keeping the HP until night time then give her. then ended up she was on the HP the whole day, chatting, smsing and updating her FB whole day!

minor things can close one eye, but major things like talking on her HP all day, sneaking out to meet bf without telling us or stealing our stuff or even "borrowing" our things without telling us are a major no-no for me. also, i would prefer they did not have bf cos i ever had a maid who had a bf and in the end she got pregnant and secretly did an abortion by taking pills! it was a nightmare for me...thankfully, she didnt die from bleeding or something. :scared:

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