KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

Hey,

Can anyone share your experiences and to do tips to prepare for home without maid?

Grateful for your views.

Tks.

My boy has just started to return home on his own? He travels by public bus home daily, picked up by maid from the bus stop and walked back together. Without a maid, he walks home alone crossing 2 junctions with traffic lights. I prepare his lunch in the morning and leave it in a thermal container. It is still warm when he eats. I've done porridge, soup, pasta and salad. Pasta and rice are kept seperately. Though it is not warm but with warm sauce and soup, it is alright. Salad are kept in fridge and he helps himself to the dressing. Next year P6, staying back 4 times a week in school, so lunch won't be much of a problem. I have a dog, this really helps. He won't feel so lonely.

As long as your boy can goes home alone, can be independent and behaves well when alone. It shouldn't be a problem. Most important is getting home safely, and he is safe at home.

Hey Yanlf,

Thanks for sharing this but any tips to manage his fear of being alone at home. I do not own any pet.

I am usually with my DD but at times when she is home alone or at the library on her own for a good few hours, the key thing I do is talk to her over the phone at the start when she is alone (to let her have some comfort in hearing someone familiar) and then remind her that if there is anything, she can juz call (not by her side but juz a phone call away). Finally, I always instil in her that if she has done things with a clear conscience, she will naturally fear nothing ~ I am not sure if she fully understands the meaning but at times, she encourages me with that.

Yes, been always giving the assurance to him but I can still sense the fear that he has.

Wonder if there is recommended age to start them to be alone at home or P5 is okay to start?

PHMummy wrote:Yes, been always giving the assurance to him but I can still sense the fear that he has.

Wonder if there is recommended age to start them to be alone at home or P5 is okay to start?

I think it's fine for an 11 year old to be alone as long he knows how to lock the door, and of course not open it to strangers.
If he's a little afraid still maybe you could wait till he's a but older maybe a year or so.

PHMummy wrote:Yes, been always giving the assurance to him but I can still sense the fear that he has.

Wonder if there is recommended age to start them to be alone at home or P5 is okay to start?

Do you leave him a list of phone nos. and people to contact? Not just you, but also other relatives and friends in case you are uncontactible for some reason. It may also be good to leave a few neighbours' nos., especially those who are stay-at-home so he knows there are people he can ask for help nearby. I think that 11yo is an OK age to start.

The other thing is to get him used to being alone at home for gradually longer periods. Start with an hour during weekends while you run an errand, and extend it until he is more used to being alone at home. He will get used to it eventually.

Just something to note though - if he is lonely, he is more likely to spend a lot of time on social media or other websites, so you may also have to institute rules about such activities while he is at home alone. And you may also want to make clear what your rules are about bringing friends home, going out etc without your permission.

You can also consider student care centre near your home. Some schools have student care after school too.

It all depends on how independent your child is and how much supervision he needs. If your child has been looked after by a maid, the sudden transition might not sit well.

P6 is a crucial year. You might want to think through this issue more seriously.

Would like to share some observations that we had with ds's mates. But you know your child best to determine if he is suitable to be left at home.

ds has a schoolmate. While he seems mischevious but he is quite a nice boy but this year, he was caught stealing at a store near school. It's not that he needed those stuff as I heard he distributed his loots to his classmates. From what I heard from ds, he is usually left home alone so he sort of loiters around after school. Due to that, his results also suffer and they just sat for PSLE this year. To help him, he is no longer allowed to go home on his own, he has to be at the general office till his parents fetch him.

Kiaseemum wrote:

PHMummy wrote:Yes, been always giving the assurance to him but I can still sense the fear that he has.

Wonder if there is recommended age to start them to be alone at home or P5 is okay to start?

I think it's fine for an 11 year old to be alone as long he knows how to lock the door, and of course not open it to strangers.
If he's a little afraid still maybe you could wait till he's a but older maybe a year or so.

Thanks and yes, probably we may need for him to be older