KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

I employ very pretty married ( separated now) phillipine helper.
After couple of weeks of adjusting she seemed to be ok at first, now 6 month on she is constantly on the phone, she is very open about her use too. My problem is that I need to rtn to work in 6 month and my baby will be 2yrs old then. I worry she might run off to meet her bf... Or bf's...
She is open about her bf too and I can't stop it as its her life and I don't have a problem if she can do the job.
I don't know if I am being over anxious about my helper doing silly things because of her bf's.. ( got few..)
Her work is slow but I can close one eye.. She is timid compare to other stubborn helpers.

Can someone let me know if their helper was ok with similar problem looking after baby alone?

I have no family who can keep an eye other then 93yrs old amah who live too far and of cause too old..

I would advise you to get a nanny cam.

It is not all about the maid that you should be concerned about. When you go back to work, your kid's main role model would be your maid. If she is not discreet about usage of mobile phones and boyfriends NOW when you are around... I do not dare to think how it would become when you are at work. Even if she doesn't do anything hanky-panky... your child would grow up learning the wrong norm - one that may not go along with your personal values.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with such a maid. If you have a six months runway, you should consider speaking to her, or just trying to get a replacement. We wouldn't know if it is better, but a change allows a chance for BETTER. I did the webcam before. How much can you watch? How much can you say? And if you feel that you have to watch, doesn't it means the maid is not trustworthy?

If it's my choice, I would rather place kid in childcare or local nanny with good family environment and get part time helper. Maybe tougher on mummy but seriously better peace of mind. How would you be able to concentrate on work if you have to constantly worry about your child's safety and welfare?

Angelique wrote:I employ very pretty married ( separated now) phillipine helper.
After couple of weeks of adjusting she seemed to be ok at first, now 6 month on she is constantly on the phone, she is very open about her use too. My problem is that I need to rtn to work in 6 month and my baby will be 2yrs old then. I worry she might run off to meet her bf... Or bf's...
She is open about her bf too and I can't stop it as its her life and I don't have a problem if she can do the job.
I don't know if I am being over anxious about my helper doing silly things because of her bf's.. ( got few..)
Her work is slow but I can close one eye.. She is timid compare to other stubborn helpers.

Can someone let me know if their helper was ok with similar problem looking after baby alone?

I have no family who can keep an eye other then 93yrs old amah who live too far and of cause too old..

Hi

I think in your case where there isn't any other family member(s) around .not thinking of sending your kid to full-day care facilities but chooses to keep the maid, the following should be done:
1) Get a nanny cam; and
2) Forbid use of handphone completely in the day during your absence.

When you go back to work, there is no way the BAN on mobile phone will work. 2 year old children are active. How can you go back to work with a peace of mind? As it is, she is already so open on her usage of mobile phone.

Can you be sure she won't invite her boyfriend(s) back to your place?

Thank you everyone for your time to let me know, I am going to speak to her and see if she changes at all.. but I doubt it will last more then a week.
I am thinking about changing her soon but hubby thinks all maids will be the same and reluctant to change. ( my in laws had really awful maids before)
Today My ex maid has sent me FB pictures of my current maid with british male friends visiting her in SG! Picture shows a group of very young white English men ..
So many sexy pictures, no wonder so many men contact her..
People can say it's her private life and yes, I do agree it's her life but! She is paid a salary and need to work to earn it. Currently she can not complete anything, if she can do her job then maybe I can't complain but more then dozen bf ? How is it possible to have so many bf's ? No wonder no time to finish chores.
I don't have family who can help to keep an eye so it's very stressful to find what is a safe solution for baby care.

What about child care? My friends with or without maids send their kids to infant or child care. They will not leave kids with the maid without supervision.

My cousin's maid brought her kids along when she went out for her rendezvous and my cousin only found out much later. Maid even wore her clothes for such occasions. It happened many years back and I cannot remember the details but kids were left unsupervised in public.

is safer to send your toddler to an infant care centre, then have this maid. At least you have peace of mind, instead of leaving her with this maid

When you not in, she can wear your clothes secretly, pose sexily on your bed, or have a fling with security guard downstairs (eg if u stay in a condo), etc

Get rid of this maid ASAP, else u have no peace of mind
If she bring your kid out, she busy talking to boyfriend on her handphone : anything may happen to your child.

Btw, never hire any pretty maid, bec they normally invite trouble to your household

How come you don't set a rule much earlier when your FDW first started working with you? The use of handphone is allowable after 9pm. Disable the wifi during the daytime.

Hearing from you about your FDW, i doubt having a nanny cam will work either. I suggest you either get a nanny instead or infantcare instead.

Change your FDW before it turns ugly.

That is the problem when you hire young and "only wants to play and have fun" FDW. Get a much mature and down-to-earth FDW.