P1 Deferment

Discuss issues related to children who have special needs or learning difficulties

P1 Deferment

Postby luvmum » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:57 am

Dear mums,

My child is due to register for P1 next year. I'm intending to defer him for a yr due to his medical conditions. He is academically slower and not on par with his other peers though he is learning. Any mums who have same thoughts as I do, please PM or share your concerns and worries with me. The feeling of seeing all other students looking so forward to Primary school but yet your child is unable to saddens me a great deal!

luvmum
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P1 Deferment

Postby DesertWind » Wed Sep 25, 2013 5:05 pm

Hi Luvmum,

How are you?

Did you manage to defer your kid's P1?

Am thinking seriously of deferring mine.

Any mummies have the experience can share? What do you do with your kids during this year of deferment?

Thanks & regards,
Desertwind

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Re: P1 Deferment

Postby luvmum » Wed Sep 25, 2013 5:11 pm

Hi, yes I did. Pm me n we can discuss offline.

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Re: P1 Deferment

Postby ImMeeMee » Wed Sep 25, 2013 5:17 pm

DesertWind wrote:Hi Luvmum,

How are you?

Did you manage to defer your kid's P1?

Am thinking seriously of deferring mine.

Any mummies have the experience can share? What do you do with your kids during this year of deferment?

Thanks & regards,
Desertwind


Desertwind

I sought and was given approval for deferment from MOE for my ASD doter the same time when we put in our application at Pathlight this year.

I am prepared to let her stay one more year with her current EIPIC school if she does not get into PL next year, cos I don't think she is ready for mainstream P1 next year. But now that she has got a place at PL, we will let her proceed with it.

I think its a case of weighing your options. If going into P1 next year may do her more harm than good from long term standpoint, then we may just need to have the courage to take a detour. Nevermind if we are taking a longer route, we will get there eventually. For the deferment, you would need the application to be supported by the psychologist and the pre-school, so its good to talk to these parties as well.

Hope this helps and all the best.

ImMeeMee
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Re: P1 Deferment

Postby woggles » Wed Sep 25, 2013 6:19 pm

Hi Luvmum, Desertwind,

My DS is a 2006 baby so should be in P1 this yr. We deferred him so he'll go P1 next yr instead. Overall we believe it to be best decision in DS' interest. Also DS very aware and quite matter of fact abt being 1 yr older.
Our ed psych & therapists brought up about deferring DS when he was early K1. So we actually had plenty of time to think through, subtly hint to him about "having one more year to prepare", and look for another kindy to transfer to. We didn't want him to feel too affected when he saw his classmates all graduating at K2, so we moved him into another kindy in the middle of his K2 year (old kindy) & into K1 class of new kindy.
This way, he could move up with his new classmates and graduate with them end of this yr. We obtained recommendation letters and got deferment fr the Compulsory Ed unit in MOE. We also had principal of new kindy write letter to confirm that DS has place in sch to study during yr of deferment.

Several things that we had to overcome:
- his adapting to a new environment (but gd also for DS to get used to change)
- feeling older than his peers. After 2wks he forgot all abt it cos he's same size/height as them & he had v mature classmates too
- classmates took 3-4 mths to really accept him. Now he has 4 close friends
- his complaints and unhappiness abt changing sch and new kindy was actually more academically challenging. Good cos it showed us all that he was really no where ready for P1.

Teachers & principals in both kindys very supportive & encouraging. Old kindy would praise and encourage him for being brave, new kindy looked out for his strengths and made him feel included.
Also kept telling DS that taking one more yr to prepare is a gd thing..explained that everyone is special and unique. Some need help before P1, others during primary or even sec sch.
If we parents really believe and show a positive attitude towards deferment, our kids will also believe so and not let the extra yr determine their sense of worth.

All the best!

woggles
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Re: P1 Deferment

Postby luvmum » Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:47 pm

Hi woggles,

Like your DS, mine was also 2006 baby and we kinda prepared too as like yours, we were told a deferment was recommended when he was in K1. We reached a consensus on this. Pushing my boy when it is way beyond his limit will be more detrimental than retaining him one more year.

My only regret is to retain him in the same kindy. I should have changed. I thought by not allowing him to re-adapt to a new environment helps to ease off one of his tension. How wrong I was! He really suffered a lot of mockery and ridicules from those mates who recognised him as K2 last year. There were name calling and unsupportive friends even. Worst is the unsympathetic English teacher that he had this year. I'm just delighted that there is still one more month to go.

It's just sad to know that the learning environment for special needs kids is Singapore is so unfavourable. I expect seeing more when he enters mainstream next year.

luvmum
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Re: P1 Deferment

Postby woggles » Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:15 pm

hi luvmum,
so sorry to hear about what your DS is going thru' :hugs:
although there is more awareness compared to say 5yrs back, our children will still be plagued by insensitive remarks and encounter people who do not know better. Children can be very mean but they can claim to not know better, but teachers?

so your DS will be going to P1 next year? then he can start to happily prepare now right? sorry if I'm reading your first and most recent post wrongly... I may be misunderstanding...
are you concerned about deferring your child or concerned about the effects of deferring your child?

for me personally, i think it was mostly luck and some prep work on our part that help smoothen things for DS. We are super blessed to have found these 2 church kindys who are very understanding and strive to help all the children.
We declared his condition before we enrolled him in both kindys - both principals were very welcoming and of cos did observe him before fully being confident that they can manage him. I'm also the type to really describe DS's worst academic & behaviour scenarios - so when principals & teachers meet him, their expectations are already managed.
I've already declared DS's condition to his P1 school and have already met up with the HOD of student development. Next we'll be meeting the AED of the school and try to arrange a time (at sch's convenience) to let kid explore school before orientation, meet HOD & AEDs, and hopefully ease manage his fears a bit about new place.

Other than that, all we can do is pray and be our children's most supportive advocates. DS has some classmates who have teased him about being 1 year older and he can tell them off saying "1 year older very jialat meh?" (I overheard this when I picked him up from school). According to teacher, he also once asked part innocently/part laughingly "My mummy said girls can like older men. Does this mean I'm the cutest boy in class?" :lol:
He had insecure moments before but has since become more bo-chap about mean remarks... thankfully the teachers reinforce what we at home also always emphasized to him - his age, marks, results do not matter to us. it's the work attitude and trying his best that counts. and he should only pay attention to people who matter - family, caring teachers and real friends. We continue to pray hard hard that he can hopefully make 1-2 nice understanding friends when he enters P1.

you and your child are not alone... Jiayou! Like all mums, you are doing your best by your child and this extra year will help him in the long run :rahrah:

woggles
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Re: P1 Deferment

Postby luvmum » Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:07 pm

Hi woggles,

Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement. :thankyou: Need that very badly. No friends can understand as they all have normal kids.

Yes, you can say that children are innocent and point blankly say what they think without knowing how to be diplomatic. But their words are like piercing knife. It hurts and bleeds my heart all the time. Children nowadays are smarter than our time so do they know what they are saying...if you ask me, yes they do! I can only attribute to their upbringing as the cause of their rudeness and mean behaviour.

Yes, he will be going to P1 next year. It is an entirely new school where hopefully greater attention can be diverted on them since they are the pioneer group. Coupled with the fact that there will be no p2 students ard, henceforth, I can be 100% assured that he won't be 'recognised' by his other school mates wondering why was he in P1 when he should be in P2. The school admin called us up a week ago and checked if there are any special needs for our child and I told her abt my DS condition. However, being in a new school, I do not have the privilege of exploring the school or meeting up with his form teachers or allied educators as they would be officially transfer to this school only next year. I can only do so during orientation. I really dunno how much concession the school can accommodate, I should not expect much so that I won't be that disappointed at the end. I can only pray and pray each day :pray: that God can have mercy on this child and let him go through proper education. Our whole family has suffered enough.

You are lucky that you didn't have to go through my ordeal. It was heart-wrenching seeing how people perceive him and me too. He was like a plague that everyone tried to avoid playing with and an easy target when it comes to bullying. DS was actually very affected on the first month that he cried in school and refused to go. This has been the school he attended since nursery and everyday is a forthcoming day for him so imagine how terrible he must have felt in this used to be 'cosy' and 'protected' second home. Guess what, his Eng teacher told me perhaps we might consider withdrawing him. I wish I can :pokeeye: on her. For all our 4 years there, this is the first time I wrote a complaint letter to the kindy on this teacher.

Seriously speaking, I am in no position to demand any good grades from him. I just ask that he be given a chance to go through mainstream education and lead a life that any 7 year old boy goes thr...with friends, teachers and of course family will always be at the back of him at all times. It pains me so much that he is not experiencing the simple joy and fun that his elder sister is going through. What comes easily to us proved to be so hard for him yet I can only watch helplessly and crying in silence within.

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P1 Deferment

Postby DesertWind » Fri Oct 04, 2013 12:00 pm

Just went and met with the primary school's AED to discuss about P1 next year and what are the "key indicators" necessary for the kids to succeed in P1. She gave us a 3-pager school-readiness checklist (piang!) in various domains whereby it is critical to have in order for the kid to succeed in P1.

Domain skills like independance, physical, social and language skills and to be able to navigate in the huge primary school environment without any help from anybody.

[I suspect the AED arranged our appointment purposely during the time school end as well so that we can experience the pandemonium and chaos and noise that went on around school dismissal time. The scary part is also the transportation, school buses, cars and safety issues as well!].

We asked about the school's AED support? Replied: Only one for the whole school ie. cannot help much. The school is very open to shadow teachers though, if cost is not an issue to the parents.

AED highly recommend deferment, if this will help to close the gap of time and help the kid to succeed in P1. She told us also we are not the only ones with needs.

"See you next year!" she said. We are grateful to the AED for not letting us feel rejected and although she recommends deferment, she warmly welcome us back the following year.

Whichever school we ultimately choose for our boy we will always be grateful for your kindness, AED teacher! :>

DesertWind
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Re: P1 Deferment

Postby lynntan15 » Fri Oct 04, 2013 2:50 pm

I deferred my 2006 dd last year due to recommendation from KKH's psychologist. She will be in P1 next year.

Academically, she is still weak as compared to those kid a year younger than her but she is very happy with her K2 classmates this year. However, I did change childcare for her as I want it to be a different environment for her.

I also prepare her that she is always a year older than her classmate.

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