the last para to target the issue is the more difficult part to me..over the years, I kept telling myself to accept whatever outcomes that may be..even telling myself ok for her to go to private institutions etc but of course sometimes I do feel abit 'heartache' thinking abt future ..also to avoid frictions/dents in our relationship..I m not sure about other kids her age, mine I feel like growing up too fast in terms of listening and following all the things I say..from a rather mild temperament kid with some 'bullies' around her, it changes her to be a kid that could better protect herself, I should be happy as I helped her raised some issues to her FT during lower pri..nowadays she will go and tell cher if she finds anything too distractive to her..she told me that she just want to study properly..just noticed she communicates more with some of her chers.. team work as always quite weak..she can raise her ideas etc but the others usually a clique will not listen kind of thing lor. at this stage, they are quite a number of WA group chats, but she doesn't really bother what they talking..even I find many talk quite out of scope one..probably abit boring to her..slmkhoo wrote: ↑Mon Mar 09, 2020 9:09 amThe questions we asked ourselves when deciding or not whether to test, and provide therapies (at home, in our case), and ask for accommodations was: given what we see as her level of intelligence/ability, does it seem that she is underachieving? And is there anything we or the "system" could do to help her achieve her potential?
For our daughter, in the early years, she was underachieving mostly because of poor attention and motor skills, so we tried to help with that. We couldn't make her "just like everyone else", but she improved enough that she was suffering less when trying to keep up with schoolwork and school activities. We also saw that social skills was getting in the way, not so much of academic achievement, but of life in general, so we tried to help with that. You would also be surprised (we were) that social skills can really get in the way of academic life too - not knowing how to respond to or deal with teachers and classmates, being excluded from groups, not understanding the requirements, etc.
Our next hurdle is to help her get an internship and eventually a job. She is enroute to get a reasonable academic qualification, but she performs very poorly at interviews. We believe that she can do certain types of jobs well, if only she can land one. We have recently approached SG Enable for assistance in finding an internship this year. We're not sure how this will work out, but we have to try.
So back to my first point - if you feel your daughter is underachieving based on your assessment of her abilities (academic and other aspects), it may be good to work on specific skills to improve her eventual outcome.
slmkhoo, your dd is doing very well and she is very fortunate to have you as a mom..