KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

oh manz.. its been a tough week for me.. hope today i can sleep a little better,

Thanks you so much !

Hi helplessmum,

Just to say that 2.5 yo is NOT too late to help your son. In fact, it is a great age to START! Early intervention programme is usually until 6 yo (before P1 year) hence you have another 4 years to do it.

Do not cry or blame yourself. Sometimes with the first child it is like that, we all gundu a bit and have nobody else to compare the kid with hence we can't pick up problems early. It is usually then around 2, 2.5 yo when the kid goes to pre-school then somebody may highlight.

For me, I send my boy from 2 yo to 2.5 yo to a childcare centre and that was when the teacher highlighted to me my boy does not seem to understand or respond fast compared to the other kids. He also got speech delay and from 2.5 yo to 3.5 yo we sent our son to a private early intervention centre everyday to replace the childcare centre!

We also go to KKH CDC and doctor refers us to do OT at the Health Promotion Board. I must say OT at the HPB is very good and we will learn a lot from there what to do. They even conduct talks like how to toilet-train your kid (part of OT) and they have a lot of write-ups on milestones etc. which I bring back to read up to learn more! Outside OT is also more expensive. It is not difficult to get OT appointments at the HPB hence I will recommend you go to HPB OT. Did the KKH refer you and give you OT appointments already?

As for speech therapy, very long at KKH.

Your boy actually sounds very bright and ok and I will hesitate to believe so quickly that he has ASD. However, from my own experience, keep going to KKH CDC sooner or later sure will get a label!

Your boy also sounds like a lovely boy ie. will run to greet you at the door, offer you food and smile at you etc. Hee..hee...so cute right?

Yes, it is difficult to comprehend and understand as well, encountered quite a few parents who also think how come KKH doctor spend only half-hour or one hour can give ASD diagnosis already? A lot of parents cannot accept that as well, very unhappy. But I think time will also tell. If really got issue, the problems will surface more as the kid gets older and we got no more excuse to give (like he is still young etc).

Meanwhile, the time is NOW to observe your boy very closely and spend more time with him. Use your motherly gut-feel to tell you whether YOU think your boy is really got problem or not? Then whatever areas he need help you do your best to help him.

Be brave and don't cry anymore ok? You need to have a very clear head from now on to know what to do.

DesertWind,

i feel more that God send me to this portal with so many God's send angels here to share & help me...

KKH did have a appointment for me for OT already but Speech therapy totally no appointment at all, will advise us later when have, and for early intervention also got to wait for half yr or longer. I tot KKH OT will be no good, so i worry too. good that u tell me this, so i can save some cost for private OT.

May i noe what is the fee for your private early intervention centre cost per month? how many hrs. is it like child care 7am to 7pm? i am working mum. i dun have parents to help.. so solely depend on childcare hrs. so i can work..

for me i did not unhappy with KKH doctor, i jus unhappy of myself. i also accepts tat y i been crying & feeling very scare.. although yet to see phycologist to confirmed.

you know after visit, KKH doctor, i dare not to face my son for few days, whenever i see him i will cry...feeling i have lost my son..

i will try not to cry anymore. I will try.

How possible will KKH withdraw the label if after labelled ? you know what i mean?

helplessmum3 wrote: you know after visit, KKH doctor, i dare not to face my son for few days, whenever i see him i will cry...feeling i have lost my son..
i will try not to cry anymore. I will try.

I have no knowledge on the topic to share but juz to give you encouragement To your son, you parents are his universe, the only ones who can help so yes, please don't cry. Be strong for him. He sounds very loving. If truly he needs special attention, (a) Face your problem straight and direct (b) accept it (c) think how best to help him and execute without looking back. He's your child - you must accept him whole and whole with unconditional love. We're behind you!

Helplessmum
Be brave! Don't worry, things will be better. I think what the dr meant is that social skills are picked up naturally by normal children. We don't have to teach them how to do it. They will naturally wanna show u things, get your attention etc. I notice that between my two kids. My no 1 has HFA while my no 2 doesn't have. Altho I spent the same time with both kids, my no 2 will share with me, comfort me when she see I'm in pain, bring her colouring book and asked me to colour with her etc. This never happened with my no 1. I never taught her all those things. She just learnt it. Whereas I have to ask my no 1 to play with me, teach him to greet others, how to make friends etc. It is less intuitive for him.

The 'verdict' from the dr is not the final one. It is just a preliminary one based on the interview. The real thing will come when u meet the psychologist. She will play with your child to test him.

helplessmum3 wrote:Specialboymum,

Does yr child get bullied in school. Is he able to identify danger?

Hi helplessmum3,

so far, no sign of bullying *touch wood*. He is being closely watch in school by the teachers, so I guess there shouldn't be much problem.

My suggestion for your child is to focus on getting early intervention. In my opinion, diagnosis/assessment can only be use as a reference - to identify the help he needs and when he is of school age, to get additional support from the school if require. I still think that as parent, we know our kids better than the doctor, who just see them for less than 2 hours and issue them a label just by going through a check list. Autism is a complex 'disorder' that till today, nobody knows the exact cause. Nevertheless, autism or not, he is still our child, so we will just try to bring him up to the best our parenting instinct think is right.

For therapy sessions, if you have the budget, you can consider going to private to avoid long waiting time. For my boy, I first started him on ABA therapy to work on his behavior, interaction and compliance and speech therapy. I didn't start him on occupational therapy until recently when I notice his sensory issue becoming more obvious.

I heard hands-in-hands is very good but they also have longer waiting time. I gave up waiting and go to another OT.

Hi helplessmum3,

I'm presently in the same situation as you. I'm working full-time and studying part-time at the same time. My girl is older than your boy and i'm still pending for my very 1st appointment with KKH. Hence you are much fortunate as compared to my current situation. I'm been in the same situation as you, panicking not knowing what to do. This affect a lot on my work performance and my studies too. You need to brace up yourself. A lot of mummies been through this stage, i believe, including me.

Try to do lots of read up on what are the possible therapies and where are these therapies centres located at. Knowing the therapies centres alone are not enough, you need to know who are the recommended and reliable therapists. There again, it also depends if your child can click with the therapist or not. So you need to observe, evaluate and apply whatever techniques the therapist has taught you at home.

First of all, try start off with GFCF diet to see if there's any improvement and google where to get these GFCF food from. It's not easy to stay strictly to this diet as this would mean no outside food anymore for your kid. Meantime i'm starting my girl with GFCF diet and speech therapy. Hope this helps.

helplessmum3, there're enough professionals in Sgp to help your child and early intervention does help. I know many ASD kids in my son's school as well as personal friends who are coping well. As long as the right help is given early, many skills can be picked up for him to cope. For a start, you may want to consider OT (to address sensory issues) and SLT (Speech lang therapy) to help with speech development.

All the best!

Dear Helpless mum

Your son is only 2.5 years old. It is not too late to start speaking to him and connecting with him. Don't feel guilty look forward and just spend time and enjoy your boy. What is your concern that you need early intervention. Don't diagnose your child to early. Give him sometime.

Please don't be despair. You know as parents we make mistake. God is watching over your child. Don't worry help is on the way. I make many too. My son turn out well. He is 13 now.