how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool?

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how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool?

Postby rotund » Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:26 pm

My ds has just started N1 in term 2. He's been crying daily once we reach the gate and also on and off in class. He also refused to participate in activities and will choose to sit aside waiting for me, crying meanwhile. He wailed really loudly.

Today the principal suggested that he stopped school as he might not be ready for school. I've heard of children taking as long as one year to settle in school, with most around 2 months. Isn't it too early to suggest when he is only into the 4th week?

Should I still let him continue w this place as it seems that they do not have the patience for him?

rotund
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Re: how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool

Postby SAHM_TAN » Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:07 pm

How old is your ds? How many hrs is the programme ?

bb joined kindy when she was 2.5 yos. Initially the tr had to pry her away from me becos she was holding me with death gripe. It took her 1 month to settle down. Ds1 is in K2, so that helps to speed up the settling down process.

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Re: how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool

Postby rotund » Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:20 pm

Thank you for your reply, SAHM. He is 2.5 yrs now.

Today overheard the teacher told him, "cannot cry, or mummy don't bring you home later".

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Re: how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool

Postby SAHM_TAN » Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:38 pm

rotund wrote:Thank you for your reply, SAHM. He is 2.5 yrs now.

Today overheard the teacher told him, "cannot cry, or mummy don't bring you home later".


Errrrrr, won't that make matters worse?

How's the trs in the kindy? Or is it childcare?

Before I placed bb in kindy, I signed up short-term programme whereby I can accompany her to participate in 1.5 hrs of activities. So that light have helped her to get use the idea of being in a classroom environment.

Plus I have older kids so the yr before I place her in kindy I would say jie jie/ kor kor going to school le. Then when it's time for them to come home, I would say see we are going to bring jie jie and kor kor home. This is to get her use to the idea of going to school and will come home too.

If the pre-school environment is ok, maybe you can borrow bks abt going to school fr the lib and read to him.

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Re: how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool

Postby iggy » Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:57 pm

The scare tactics used by the teacher isnt helpful to his anxiety.

Is there any particular activites your child like/open to partcipate in? Say outdoor play, craft or story time? I dont believe in having the child cry the entire time. Maybe you can also consider an accompanied programme to ease the transition.

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Re: how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool

Postby sesame2319 » Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:25 am

My kid was in a two hour playgrp on a daily basis for almost 6 mths, recently got her into childcare cos i am planning to go back to work. The first two days when i was around, she seemed to enjoy herself, but later part when i completely left her on her own, she cried throughout the day... Refused to eat in school and everyday, when i wnet to pick her, her face was red and eyes puffy from the persistent crying, her voice even became hoarse and she fell sick with flu in less than 5 days there...i was advised that just need more time to let her get used to the place...and that one other kid took almost 6 months to stop her crying and refusal to eat in school....i kept thinking that maybe my child is just super sticky to me cos i have been a sahm since her birth and hence her strong refusal to accept the childcare centre environment...but actually i also saw some childcaring lapses while i was there which made me uncomfybut i thought maybe i am just too demanding on the standards. During that short period we were there, my instincts kept telling me to pull her out of there and i would try to be rational and reasoned that it is just my own escalated anxiety and to just give her more time!

In fact, i tried my best to work with the teachers and supervisor to feedback to them my concerns and understand how they try to calm my child and make her accept the place. But most times i am left with the feeling that the centre is not doing enough as i think they are very shorthanded and cannot afford much individual attention to a newcomer esply such a stubborn crybaby!

And yes, they also tried scare tactics like if you dun sleep/eat mummy will not come later....sigh...my kid lost so much weight that her face no more bah bah after a week there!

And then after two weeks there, my kid got a bad bump and nobody saw how it happened...and the best part was, it was my less than 30 mths old kid who pointed to me the injury at the gate at the end of the day and when i went back into the cc, all tcrs claimed they do not know how it happened! Tat was the last straw for me!
Imagine she could have been suffering in pain without any medical attention for god knows how long.....by the time i saw it, it was so swollen!

So i think, it may sometimes be better to just follow your own instinct together with closer observation of your kid and the childcaring that is provided! I wish i did, now the bump has caused a hard lump on the bone with an unslightly shadow on the skin....a bit po xiang le!sobs....

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Re: how long does it take for a child to settle in preschool

Postby ammonite » Tue Apr 16, 2013 1:40 pm

rotund wrote:Thank you for your reply, SAHM. He is 2.5 yrs now.

Today overheard the teacher told him, "cannot cry, or mummy don't bring you home later".


That is very bad. I will change the school without hesitation or just keep the child at home if possible. One of my kids started at k1 year, and I changed his school once as well because I was not pleased with the teacher and how things were organized. Peace of mind is important to me. I am not going to pay money and spend everyday worrying.

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