Crying babies

Talk about issues regarding looking after babies in the 1st 3 years of their lives.

Crying babies

Postby LKVM » Fri Apr 23, 2010 3:30 pm

How much we should allow our babies to cry? I always wondered this question cause sometimes its good that they cry so that they shouldnt have the feeling everytime they cry they will get what they want.. but sometimes if they cry a lot they are at the risk of the brain damage.

I was checking on the internet and got this article from

http://feeds.bignewsnetwork.com/?sid=626328

Distressed babies who are left to cry are at greater risk of developing problems later in life, a childcare expert said.

Long periods of crying can damage developing brains, leading to learning difficulties later in life, said Dr Penelope Leach, author of the 1977 book 'Your Baby And Child: From Birth To Age Five'.

'It is not an opinion but a fact that it's potentially damaging to leave babies to cry,' she said.

Leach's theory is contrary to popular child-rearing beliefs that a baby should be allowed to cry for up to 20 minutes.

'A baby who is left crying for long enough will eventually stop, but not because he has learned to go to sleep happily alone, but because he is exhausted and has despaired of getting help,' she said.

She added continued crying led to the increased production of the 'stress hormone' cortisol. Long periods of crying produced so much cortisol that it could damage a baby's brain, reports telegraph.co.uk.

'That doesn't mean that a baby should never cry, or that parents should worry when she does. All babies cry, some more than others. It's not the crying that is bad for babies - but crying that gets no response,' Leach said.

LKVM
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Postby BlurBee » Fri Apr 23, 2010 3:46 pm

Thanks for the info, LKVM.
My DS cries everyday in the morning
1) not letting me to go to work.
2) resistant to go to school (playgroup).
sometimes he may even cried until vomitted.

But he looks ok to me when I reached home in the evening.
:? should I let him cry?

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Postby LKVM » Fri Apr 23, 2010 3:53 pm

BlurBee wrote:sometimes he may even cried until vomitted.


Same thing happened to me too :? my DS1's digestion not so good so if he cries after eating food he generally vomits... I dont let him cry too much after eating food if i can :P

For your mentioned things thats normal and kids will cry when they see u going out so its ok but make sure u tell him that u will return soon and then play with them take him out etc u should make him feel that u r just going for small while :wink:

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Postby Guest » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:05 pm

I think we have to use our instinct as a mum sometimes. All scenarios vary but it helps to read widely.

My child cried alot alot when young too. I believe she cried due to discomfort and we often tried to establish the cause.

But when there was no cause and just a whiney kind of cry for attention, I could detect and let her whine until she became tired. Of course first I would try to give her security and assurance but if it just went on and on, I would walk away.....then after a while....it would stop. In fact one of the ways I got her to stop was to let her know only when it stopped, we could talk, after a while she got it. You need to know how your child respond to things, importantly is not to destroy the security that they need, then it turned to distress and hurt development.

So regardless how "cruel" I may appear to some parents, my child is very attached to me and never felt lacking in security. I believe it takes spending a fair amount of time with your child to establish that.

I was glad when the crying days were over at about 3 plus 4.
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Postby LKVM » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:10 pm

ks2me wrote:So regardless how "cruel" I may appear to some parents, my child is very attached to me and never felt lacking in security. I believe it takes spending a fair amount of time with your child to establish that.


No you are not cruel ks2me even I too walk away from DS1 if he unnecessarily cry and let him know that even if he cry he will not gonna get unless he talks... then after few mins he will stop crying and come talk to me... but situation vary for him too and ofcuz since DS2 still very young I dont make him cry too much cause it must be surely something he needs or some pain...

I also have very strong bond with kids and I am proud of it :celebrate:

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Postby Guest » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:16 pm

lovekidsverymuch wrote:
ks2me wrote:So regardless how "cruel" I may appear to some parents, my child is very attached to me and never felt lacking in security. I believe it takes spending a fair amount of time with your child to establish that.


No you are not cruel ks2me even I too walk away from DS1 if he unnecessarily cry and let him know that even if he cry he will not gonna get unless he talks... then after few mins he will stop crying and come talk to me... but situation vary for him too and ofcuz since DS2 still very young I dont make him cry too much cause it must be surely something he needs or some pain...

I also have very strong bond with kids and I am proud of it :celebrate:


:celebrate:
Yeah I believe strongly bonding helps in alot of things as you can execute punishment without destroying the positive attributes. But this bonding is a continuous exercise.....there is no such thing as once it's there...it's there...like all things, effort is required continuously, put me on my toes as a parent too. :D
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Postby LKVM » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:18 pm

Oh Yes ks2me nothing in this world is fixed which means changes happen hopefully we can try to keep building the bonds with our kids every day!! cause the best thing I like doing when I go bac home is hug both of them :love:

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Postby Yerdua » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:37 pm

I'm the firm parent who will not give in to ds or even my 18mth old dd's tantrums.
This includes letting them cry all they want til they stop.

Till now, both my kids will insist tt I sleep with them every night.
Not the father, who always give in and sweet-talked to them. :P

Especially my ds, he knows I'm angry with the things that he do. After he do it right or apologise, Iaccept and we move on. So he never have hard feeling with me for being firm or fierce with him...

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Postby autumnbronze » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:52 pm

ks2me wrote:I think we have to use our instinct as a mum sometimes. All scenarios vary but it helps to read widely.

So regardless how "cruel" I may appear to some parents, my child is very attached to me and never felt lacking in security. I believe it takes spending a fair amount of time with your child to establish that.



Same same ...

Whenever I refuse to give in, I will tell him nicely why and walk off. He will still come running/looking for me. I always laugh 'secretly' at that. Logically, isn't the opposite supposed to happened?? But, that is the 'power' of relationship bet mother and child :wink:

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Postby Guest » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:56 pm

Let's all toast to mother and child bonding!! :celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate: :D
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