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Postby Hanvid » Fri Aug 20, 2010 10:13 am

Hi TAS,

I'm also staying in the east and really keen to enroll my son in your center. So, i'm putting my weight in for a TAS center in the east! :D

Hanvid
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Postby concern.mum » Fri Aug 20, 2010 11:18 am

The Alternative Story wrote:
concern.mum wrote:Hi TAS, I was at your last workshop for parents at singapore post.
I really like the way how you all use mnemonics to remember spellings and rhythms to help remember the creative writing techniques.
A question about personification and metaphors, sometimes I forget the distinction between the 2, can you elaborate on that again?



Hi concern.mum,

This is the differentiation between personification and metaphors:
Personification:

- making a non-living object take on the characteristics of a living
person.

Eg:

- The room was swathed in a blanket of darkness. The darkness pressed
against me on all sides, threatening to rob me of all sight.
(making the darkness seem like a person, being able to press and rob
a person)

Metaphor:

- it carries the meaning of one word to another. It borrows
characteristics from one word to describe another.

Eg:

- The fire was a monster, tearing through the walls of the building
with the ferocity of a ravenous beast.

(comparing the fire to a beast or a monster)

TAS


Hi TAS,

Thanks..your explanations really help...can you help to see what is
wrong with this piece of writing and how to improve?

- I walked faster and faster. The man was coming up from behind me.
He grinned at me and there was a gruel look in his eyes. Fear like a
rollercoaster kind of fear filled my heart. I started to run. The man
chased after me.

And..yes..since so many of us are staying in the east, do really consider it.. do you have many parents staying in the north east on the waiting list.

concern.mum
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Postby iamyoung » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:42 pm

Hi Concern.mum and BigDad,

I have sent you a pm... :)

iamyoung
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Postby singapore45 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 1:15 pm

Do really consider setting up a branch in the east since there is so many keen parents too. Please pm me the details regarding your plan in the east. Thanks TAS!

singapore45
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Postby The Alternative Story » Sat Aug 21, 2010 2:12 am

concern.mum wrote:Hi TAS,

Thanks..your explanations really help...can you help to see what is
wrong with this piece of writing and how to improve?

- I walked faster and faster. The man was coming up from behind me.
He grinned at me and there was a gruel look in his eyes. Fear like a
rollercoaster kind of fear filled my heart. I started to run. The man
chased after me.

And..yes..since so many of us are staying in the east, do really consider it.. do you have many parents staying in the north east on the waiting list.


Hi concern.mum,

No prob :D

Analysis of composition:

a) The writing has a very similar sentence structure throughout.
Most of the sentences starts with a pronoun like 'I' or a
noun like 'the man'. It will sound stilted when the sentence structures
are all similar. Instead, your child can try to vary it, he or she can
start a sentence with:
1) 'ing' (verbs)
2) 'ed' (adjectives)
3) 'ly' (adverbs).

Eg: Walking faster and faster, I tried to get out of the dark alley as
fast as I could.

Eg: Terrified, I began to sprint.

Eg: Slowly, I turned around, expecting to see one of my school
friends following me.

b) The tension needs to be built up more..the reader is
not able to feel much for the character as it is very descriptive,
instead of just being descriptive, the writer must be able to 'pull' the reader in by building tension.

Eg:

As I walked home, the rustle of the leaves nearby nearly made
me jump.

"I must stop watching all those horror shows," I told myself.

Calming myself down, I continued walking. Thud..thud. What was
that? Turning around, I tried to make out what or who had caused
the sound. However, the gathering darkness seemed to have
filled the alley and pushed out all light. Trembling, I quickened my pace.
Thud..there it was again. I began to run, not caring if the sound came
from a robber, a ghost or just a fallen twig. I had only one aim in
my mind- escape from the alley.

There is no indication of the robber yet but when the child builds up
tension, it makes the reader want to read on and find out what is
happening, rather than tell the reader immediately that a robber
is going to rob the main character.

c) Your child used the phrase 'fear like a roller-coaster kind of
fear'. It is good that he or she is experimenting and trying to
'show' his fear rather than just 'tell' us he is afraid. However,
the phrasing is a bit awkward. You can ask your child to
imagine himself being confronted by a robber and to imagine
the fear he has, it would not be the kind of fear you experience
on a roller coaster but rather a fear that either immobilizes you
or a fear that makes your heart beat faster..so can him to imagine
and to express in words that fear.

Suitable ways to describe the fear:

1) Fear, pulsating and gripping, filled my entire being.
2) I could not breathe, the fear that gripped my heart refused to
let go, rendering me helpless.
3) Trembling, I turned to look at the menacing glare in the robber's
eyes and my mind went blank. A stabbing fear hammered at my heart.
Was I going to die?

d) 'chase after' in the last sentence is grammatically wrong.
It is a common mistake made by many students. When you chase
someone, you will already be going 'after' the person, hence
there is no need for the word 'after'. You either say you 'chased' the
man or you 'ran after' the man.

TAS
Last edited by The Alternative Story on Sat Aug 21, 2010 3:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

The Alternative Story
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Postby The Alternative Story » Sat Aug 21, 2010 2:45 am

BigDad wrote:Hi TAS,

How to teach personification for a 8 year old? Is it possible? :?


Hi BigDad,

It is possible if the child is very fast for her age, the child can
recognize when personification is used and perhaps come up
with simple personification structures. However, even if he or
she cannot do so, they can be taught how to 'show' a scene
rather than 'tell' it.

(pri 2 standard):

Telling a scene:

- I am angry

- The park was very crowded.

Showing a scene:

- I clenched my fist and stamped my feet hard on the floor.

- Shouts filled the air as children ran about in the park.

You can help your child to see that showing a scene involves
using your 5 senses to describe the scene rather than just
'telling' a person what the scene is about.

It makes the reader able to picture what you are writing and hence
it is more engaging for the reader.

TAS

The Alternative Story
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Postby The Alternative Story » Sat Aug 21, 2010 2:46 am

Hi Easterners,

We will let you know if we do have a centre in the East :wink:

TAS

The Alternative Story
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Postby sunflower2005 » Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:52 am

Image

This story is wrote by my K1 girl, can anyone help check on her gammar ?
Thank in advance.

* as mummy English very poor. :)

sunflower2005
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English enrichment survey

Postby onlyykk » Mon Aug 23, 2010 6:35 am

Hi all,

Came across this survey about primary school enrichment centres. Short survey with a chance to win an English enrichment course:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/learningcentres

Sounds like they are proposing an interesting programme.

onlyykk
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Postby Leanne » Mon Aug 23, 2010 7:18 am

Hi TAS,

For creative writing, may I ask how to rectify the problem in creative writing when they have the problem in Tell and never show in their writing?

thanks.

cheers
Leanne

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